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FMLs submitted from Kansas

Today, I found out that even though your brother agrees to watch your dogs for a week, it does not mean that he will pick up after them. Apparently, it's okay to leave piss and shit all over the deck and floors because they're not his dogs and he shouldn't have to clean up their messes. FML

#20120904
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17877) - you deserved it (3353)

On 10/17/2012 at 11:53am - animals - by JennyPenny (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, my roommate thought it would be funny to throw a brick down the laundry-chute. Guess who spent the night at the hospital. FML

#20097230
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17522) - you deserved it (1203)

On 10/01/2012 at 7:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)

Today, after a week of not seeing each other, my boyfriend has a three day break from work. This would be great if he hadn't just told me he's having a Guild Wars 2 marathon. Now all I have to look forward to is slow wifi and anguished screams every time his character dies. FML

#20084035
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14985) - you deserved it (2388)

On 09/22/2012 at 7:49pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was watching TV with my grandma. I said aloud, "Dang, that actor is hot." My grandma pointed out he was a spitting image of my cousin. I realized she was right, and that I may as well be attracted to my own cousin. FML

#20072880
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14595) - you deserved it (2834)

On 09/15/2012 at 12:11pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, my girlfriend and I went to the drive-in theater, planning to have some fun during the movie. We were pretty excited that no cars were parked near us. As soon as the movie started, a bus full of little kids pulled up next to us. FML

#20041946
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14948) - you deserved it (5176)

On 08/26/2012 at 12:15am - love - by bummerdood (man) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I bumped into a man on the street. I apologized and he picked up his wallet. To clear the awkward silence, I pointed out that his wallet looked like mine. It wasn't until I was on the next street that I realized it was my wallet. FML

#19903103
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18271) - you deserved it (6892)

On 07/07/2012 at 1:01am - misc - by Aaron Lewis - United States (Kansas)

Today, my teenage daughter asked me if accents are hereditary. FML

#19675314
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15400) - you deserved it (3282)

On 05/24/2012 at 9:37pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, my wife told me she was pregnant. I don't remember having sex since last year. FML

#19611188
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27053) - you deserved it (3871)

On 05/12/2012 at 10:42am - intimacy - by rj - United States (Kansas)

Today, I decided to look at the pictures my mom took during my birthday a couple of weeks ago. Every single one is of my sister. Her lighting the candles, her watching me open presents, and her eating cake. The only pictures of me are in the background. FML

#19569891
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23377) - you deserved it (1332)

On 05/03/2012 at 7:35pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was addressed by name by the liquor store clerk. I've never told him my name. He's just seen my ID many times. FML

#18837494
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6320) - you deserved it (23181)

On 01/17/2012 at 7:21pm - health - by Matchtopia - United States (Kansas)

Today, I decided to get my ass in shape and went to the gym. I got motion-sickness on the elliptical. FML

#18778182
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18999) - you deserved it (4962)

On 01/11/2012 at 7:31pm - health - by tbw (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was going over to my friend's house for the first time. A creepy-looking old man answered, and smiled at me. I asked "Is this the right house? Does Isaac live here?" He replied "Yes, he's in the basement. Would you like a drink?" Right then, Isaac called and asked me where I was. FML

#18671217
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45074) - you deserved it (3116)

On 01/01/2012 at 2:34am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, my boyfriend and I got into trouble with his mother for me still being at their house at 1:00 am. I'm 24, he's 22 and we really were studying. FML

#18492041
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25729) - you deserved it (3989)

On 12/12/2011 at 2:44am - love - by smurfisurfer1 - United States (Kansas)



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