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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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FMLs submitted from Kansas

Today, I was addressed by name by the liquor store clerk. I've never told him my name. He's just seen my ID many times. FML

#18837494 (82)

I agree, your life sucks (4795) - you deserved it (15496)

On 01/17/2012 at 7:21pm - health - by Matchtopia - United States (Kansas)

Today, I decided to get my ass in shape and went to the gym. I got motion-sickness on the elliptical. FML

#18778182 (62)

I agree, your life sucks (5799) - you deserved it (1484)

On 01/11/2012 at 7:31pm - health - by tbw (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was going over to my friend's house for the first time. A creepy-looking old man answered, and smiled at me. I asked "Is this the right house? Does Isaac live here?" He replied "Yes, he's in the basement. Would you like a drink?" Right then, Isaac called and asked me where I was. FML

#18671217 (284)

I agree, your life sucks (14128) - you deserved it (983)

On 01/01/2012 at 2:34am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, my boyfriend and I got into trouble with his mother for me still being at their house at 1:00 am. I'm 24, he's 22 and we really were studying. FML

#18492041 (157)

I agree, your life sucks (8994) - you deserved it (1349)

On 12/12/2011 at 2:44am - love - by smurfisurfer1 - United States (Kansas)

Today, on a dating site, I was matched with my brother, again. FML

#18128656 (234)

I agree, your life sucks (14604) - you deserved it (1539)

On 11/01/2011 at 12:18pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)

Today, my landlord compared me to his idiot son for not plunging a toilet. This is the same toilet he explicitly told me not to plunge last week, because of a possible leak into the basement. We have been peeing outside for a week waiting on him. FML

#17996860 (138)

I agree, your life sucks (7844) - you deserved it (622)

On 10/16/2011 at 8:47am - misc - by Carl - United States (Kansas)

Today, I went to my gyn to see what a painful lump is under my armpit. Turns out it's breast tissue, and yes, it will fill up with milk when I'm pregnant. I essentially have three boobs. FML

#17743862 (240)

I agree, your life sucks (11168) - you deserved it (691)

On 09/14/2011 at 12:34pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)

Today, I woke up with a foul stench forcing its way up my nostrils. It turns out our septic tank broke, and is now leaking into our backyard, and sadly, our basement. I live in the basement. FML

#17460789 (116)

I agree, your life sucks (19518) - you deserved it (1500)

On 08/13/2011 at 3:04pm - misc - by thatguythere858 (man) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was browsing the web when I checked the search history. Turns out my son has been searching for "nude grills" and "hot grills." Not only is my 12 year old son attempting to find porn on the internet, he also can't spell. FML

#17281952 (291)

I agree, your life sucks (26783) - you deserved it (3730)

On 07/27/2011 at 10:02pm - intimacy - by Nickname (man) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I actually resorted to checking the newspaper obituaries to see where the deceased were employed, just so I can find a job opening. FML

#16922992 (252)

I agree, your life sucks (27366) - you deserved it (3304)

On 06/30/2011 at 1:44pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. His reason was because he's moving away for college. That won't be for another year. FML

#16751936 (105)

I agree, your life sucks (1061) - you deserved it (1482)

On 06/19/2011 at 9:20pm - love - by youngblood (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I came home from work to find my computer smashed into a hundred pieces. My dad threw it at my mom because they were having a fight and my computer was the closest thing to throw. He refuses to fix it. FML

#16434880 (214)

I agree, your life sucks (32555) - you deserved it (1812)

On 05/31/2011 at 12:44pm - money - by Taurus_ChicKa (woman) - United States (Kansas)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my crush and I were talking on the phone and we were really hitting it off. We got on the subject of sex and I told him I have a purity ring. Then he suddenly said he had to go and hang up. FML

#16277483 (143)

I agree, your life sucks (18419) - you deserved it (31124)

On 05/21/2011 at 3:44am - love - by Cassie (woman) - United States (Kansas)