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FMLs submitted from Iowa

Today, I stepped out of my car and slipped on a fresh coating of ice on the ground. I tried to catch myself by grabbing the car on my way down, but unfortunately, I was trying to grab with the hand that was holding my car keys. I key-scratched my own car. FML

#1625759
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45569) - you deserved it (7161)

On 05/04/2009 at 1:19pm - misc - by JulieKid (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, my boyfriend stopped making out with me to watch a thirty minute infomercial on the Topsy-Turvy upside down tomato planter. FML

#1221446
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56660) - you deserved it (6703)

On 04/22/2009 at 1:02pm - love - by T-Pain (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, my aunt informed me that she thinks I'm faking the debilitating disease I've had for the past 13 years. Apparently she thinks I just don't want to go to college or get a job, and that I like living on disability. She also added that my entire extended family agrees with her. FML

#983343
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73564) - you deserved it (5539)

On 04/15/2009 at 1:37am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was telling my sister about how I am horribly depressed and how I can't function and she responded with, "Oh, shit! I've got to go Jeopardy is on!" FML

#980782
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50089) - you deserved it (5353)

On 04/14/2009 at 10:15pm - health - by bobbies (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because apparently I need to "grow up". He is the one who plays excesive Call of Duty and still has Pokémon and Bionicles in his room. FML

#856956
470 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61416) - you deserved it (21138)

On 04/07/2009 at 5:41pm - love - by phreshrice (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, my mom has been calling me every ten minutes, asking me questions about her new computer. She called me at work, and I rudely answered her question. She called back, talked to my boss, saying she was a customer that called in, and I was rude to her. FML

#701960
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (81613) - you deserved it (15766)

On 03/30/2009 at 2:08pm - misc - by Tiak (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, me and couple of friends were driving around town and saw a lady who had accidentally backed her car up onto a concrete wall. Laughing, we all turned to look as we passed and I drove straight into a parked police car at 30 that had stopped to help her. FML

#546076
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8506) - you deserved it (93471)

On 03/23/2009 at 12:31am - misc - by mbrooke (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was at a sandwich shop and couldn't help but secretly remove a loose hair from a girl standing in front of me. I yanked it and she instantly began screaming and crying. It was in fact a very long mole hair. The thing started bleeding like a gunshot wound. My apologies went unnoticed. FML

#532942
339 comments

Today, my town had a carnival to raise money for cancer. I ran a kissing booth, when a really cute guy came up paid his $20, looked at me, and said "not even for cancer." He took his money and left. FML

#500122
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82029) - you deserved it (7504)

On 03/20/2009 at 10:39pm - love - by cancerfreak (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I laced up my fabulous new boots and walked outside to find my hot neighbor, with whom I carpool every morning. I struck a pose, feeling quite confident. Upon taking my first step down the stairs, I fell forward. I woke up an hour later with 7 stitches in my head. FML

#233704
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19638) - you deserved it (35896)

On 03/07/2009 at 12:16pm - misc - by Triple F (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I had my quarterly review with my supervisor at the warehouse I work at. He told me I was doing great and we discussed my raise. After I left his office, his supervisor told me I was being fired for my attendance. The last time I missed work was to attend a funeral. Five months ago. FML

#215931
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55175) - you deserved it (2018)

On 03/05/2009 at 10:10am - work - by crub (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, two days before my birthday, my parents drove three hours to visit me at school and take me out to lunch. I assumed that it was to celebrate my birthday. They told me they are getting divorced. FML

#173471
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66226) - you deserved it (2508)

On 03/01/2009 at 6:27pm - misc - by Meh (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, my boyfriend and I were in Victoria's Secret. I saw a picture of a model and said, "I wish I looked like that." He replied with, "Me too." FML

#75423
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42642) - you deserved it (23007)

On 02/19/2009 at 1:29am - love - by littelace - United States (Iowa)



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