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FMLs submitted from Iowa

Today, while moving, I asked my wife where she put the alcohol. She told me she threw it out, because it was old. It was Scotch. It's supposed to be old. FML

#12343499
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43421) - you deserved it (5621)

On 08/06/2010 at 12:40am - love - by rugs - United States (Iowa)

Today, I moved into my new college apartment for the next year. A 45 year old guy with a mustache in short shorts and no shirt answers the door. He will be one of my roommates. FML

#12296527
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34844) - you deserved it (3890)

On 08/03/2010 at 9:44pm - misc - by jkin47 (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I found out I'm being evicted from my apartment on my birthday. FML

#11704983
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34207) - you deserved it (17894)

On 07/06/2010 at 7:08pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, my fiancé picked which new house he thinks we should live in based on the fact that the bathroom was set up in such a way that he can drink himself in to a stupor, then use the toilet and puke in the sink at the same time. FML

#8891983
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22981) - you deserved it (5432)

On 03/07/2010 at 12:25pm - love - by ohshit (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I discovered that when business is slow at my family-owned store, my daughter and another employee make a habit of sneaking away to the back room. I have literally been paying this kid to screw around with my daughter. FML

#8446049
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33602) - you deserved it (4994)

On 02/19/2010 at 3:36pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, while running, I sped up to show off for a cute female runner I'd seen before up ahead. I passed her and not more than a minute later she sprints past me. I couldn't catch up. She not only out ran me, but waited to tell me it was a 'nice try'. FML

#8327951
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8162) - you deserved it (33150)

On 02/16/2010 at 1:32am - health - by Out Ran - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was spacing out in French class and randomly got an erection. My professor called on me to stand up at the front of the room and say, "I am wearing a belt," in French. Not everyone was observing just my belt. FML

#7782514
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34806) - you deserved it (5945)

On 02/01/2010 at 3:51pm - misc - by boner (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I went to ask my boss for a raise. Turns out they are firing 35 people. I wasn't on the list until I asked for a raise. FML

#7424503
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30492) - you deserved it (7165)

On 01/18/2010 at 7:41pm - work - by SadMan (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, my rabbit died. He died a painful death from ingesting too much carpet. I now have no rabbit and a patchy carpet. FML

#7414991
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29126) - you deserved it (6535)

On 01/18/2010 at 4:00am - misc - by Radioo (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was driving on roads that were bad from two days of snow. I spun my car out, and ended up half-way in a ditch. Thinking that I could push my car out of the snow, I got out of my car, landing in waist deep snow. When trying to get back in, I fell neck deep into snow. FML

#7229680
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25973) - you deserved it (5821)

On 01/09/2010 at 1:45am - misc - by warningxxLidell (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I realized I've lived alone too long. I read 'How the Grinch Stole Christmas' to my cat. I used expression in my voice, and I made sure he could see the pictures. My son called, and I told him about it. He gave me the number for the local psychiatric ward. FML

#6625843
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27891) - you deserved it (9466)

On 12/05/2009 at 11:30pm - animals - by JC (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I kissed my iced over window to know what kissing Edward Cullen would be like. My neighbor saw. My first reaction was to come up with a cover story. I licked the window and wiped my sleeve over it to look like I was cleaning it. My neighbor came over later and gave me an early Christmas gift. Windex. FML

#6472262
392 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8637) - you deserved it (86540)

On 11/27/2009 at 12:12am - misc - by obsessed (woman) - United States (Iowa)



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