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FMLs submitted from Iowa

Today, I was working my shift at a fancy restaurant and it had been a really hard day. My parents came in to have dinner and surprise me. After paying, they left a note saying they would see me at home. It also said "By the way, no tip, because you stink at serving." FML

#4231634
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40032) - you deserved it (6317)

On 08/02/2009 at 3:12pm - work - by waiterrrrrrrrr (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I got a call from my boyfriend. He was at the police station for breaking into a model home to hook up with the girl he's been cheating on me with for the past 4 months. I was his one phone call. He was expecting me to bail him out. FML

#3986456
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54672) - you deserved it (3162)

On 07/23/2009 at 7:25pm - love - by Inga44 (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, as I was bent over at my waitressing job an elderly woman walked by and smacked my ass. I looked at her, shocked, and she said, "It was too tempting with you bent over like that, I have a dirty old mind." I didn't know whether to be flattered or horrified. Maybe both. FML

#3661940
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43733) - you deserved it (5876)

On 07/11/2009 at 5:10am - work - by grannysmack (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I decided to scare my 10 year old sister for fun. I hid behind a door and leapt out, shouting "Boo!" when she walked by. She burst into tears and ran screaming to my mom. My mom thought I'd hit my sister, and was so angry that she punched me in the eye. FML

#2298353
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53209) - you deserved it (17375)

On 05/26/2009 at 12:38am - kids - by tsakashvili (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I stepped out of my car and slipped on a fresh coating of ice on the ground. I tried to catch myself by grabbing the car on my way down, but unfortunately, I was trying to grab with the hand that was holding my car keys. I key-scratched my own car. FML

#1625759
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44928) - you deserved it (7083)

On 05/04/2009 at 1:19pm - misc - by JulieKid (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, my boyfriend stopped making out with me to watch a thirty minute infomercial on the Topsy-Turvy upside down tomato planter. FML

#1221446
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54543) - you deserved it (6479)

On 04/22/2009 at 1:02pm - love - by T-Pain (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, my aunt informed me that she thinks I'm faking the debilitating disease I've had for the past 13 years. Apparently she thinks I just don't want to go to college or get a job, and that I like living on disability. She also added that my entire extended family agrees with her. FML

#983343
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72548) - you deserved it (5472)

On 04/15/2009 at 1:37am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was telling my sister about how I am horribly depressed and how I can't function and she responded with, "Oh, shit! I've got to go Jeopardy is on!" FML

#980782
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49763) - you deserved it (5331)

On 04/14/2009 at 10:15pm - health - by bobbies (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because apparently I need to "grow up". He is the one who plays excesive Call of Duty and still has Pokémon and Bionicles in his room. FML

#856956
467 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58987) - you deserved it (20193)

On 04/07/2009 at 5:41pm - love - by phreshrice (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, my mom has been calling me every ten minutes, asking me questions about her new computer. She called me at work, and I rudely answered her question. She called back, talked to my boss, saying she was a customer that called in, and I was rude to her. FML

#701960
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (78503) - you deserved it (15060)

On 03/30/2009 at 2:08pm - misc - by Tiak (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, me and couple of friends were driving around town and saw a lady who had accidentally backed her car up onto a concrete wall. Laughing, we all turned to look as we passed and I drove straight into a parked police car at 30 that had stopped to help her. FML

#546076
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8429) - you deserved it (92948)

On 03/23/2009 at 12:31am - misc - by mbrooke (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was at a sandwich shop and couldn't help but secretly remove a loose hair from a girl standing in front of me. I yanked it and she instantly began screaming and crying. It was in fact a very long mole hair. The thing started bleeding like a gunshot wound. My apologies went unnoticed. FML

#532942
334 comments


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