Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from Iowa

Today, I was invited to a party, but I didn't attend because my boyfriend would be disappointed with me. Instead, I spent the night with him watching movies. At the end of the night, he broke up with me because I wasn't fun enough. FML

#12604677
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31880) - you deserved it (7023)

On 08/18/2010 at 12:52pm - love - by Funless (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I discovered a bat in my new apartment. I found him in my shoe... with my foot. FML

#12583063
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32506) - you deserved it (3244)

On 08/17/2010 at 1:09pm - misc - by Bruce (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I finished painting my living room. I had to leave the house in a rush. When I got home, I found smears of paint all around and the carpet crusted with paint that had dried. My cat had rubbed up against the walls and tracked it around. FML

#12501881
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20401) - you deserved it (11933)

On 08/13/2010 at 3:45pm - animals - by Spelit (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, while moving, I asked my wife where she put the alcohol. She told me she threw it out, because it was old. It was Scotch. It's supposed to be old. FML

#12343499
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40705) - you deserved it (5369)

On 08/06/2010 at 12:40am - love - by rugs - United States (Iowa)

Today, I moved into my new college apartment for the next year. A 45 year old guy with a mustache in short shorts and no shirt answers the door. He will be one of my roommates. FML

#12296527
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31287) - you deserved it (3560)

On 08/03/2010 at 9:44pm - misc - by jkin47 (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I found out I'm being evicted from my apartment on my birthday. FML

#11704983
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30842) - you deserved it (16950)

On 07/06/2010 at 7:08pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, my fiancé picked which new house he thinks we should live in based on the fact that the bathroom was set up in such a way that he can drink himself in to a stupor, then use the toilet and puke in the sink at the same time. FML

#8891983
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21318) - you deserved it (5246)

On 03/07/2010 at 12:25pm - love - by ohshit (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I discovered that when business is slow at my family-owned store, my daughter and another employee make a habit of sneaking away to the back room. I have literally been paying this kid to screw around with my daughter. FML

#8446049
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30948) - you deserved it (4738)

On 02/19/2010 at 3:36pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, while running, I sped up to show off for a cute female runner I'd seen before up ahead. I passed her and not more than a minute later she sprints past me. I couldn't catch up. She not only out ran me, but waited to tell me it was a 'nice try'. FML

#8327951
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6763) - you deserved it (29800)

On 02/16/2010 at 1:32am - health - by Out Ran - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was spacing out in French class and randomly got an erection. My professor called on me to stand up at the front of the room and say, "I am wearing a belt," in French. Not everyone was observing just my belt. FML

#7782514
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32603) - you deserved it (5698)

On 02/01/2010 at 3:51pm - misc - by boner (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I went to ask my boss for a raise. Turns out they are firing 35 people. I wasn't on the list until I asked for a raise. FML

#7424503
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27338) - you deserved it (6723)

On 01/18/2010 at 7:41pm - work - by SadMan (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, my rabbit died. He died a painful death from ingesting too much carpet. I now have no rabbit and a patchy carpet. FML

#7414991
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25575) - you deserved it (6030)

On 01/18/2010 at 4:00am - misc - by Radioo (woman) - United States (Iowa)



FML's blog

  • Feeling shitty? Write to Auntie Bernie!
  • It's a new summer, so here's a new feature. OK, that doesn't mean much, but you've got to start somewhere. The idea came from the fact that we get sent a lot of FMLs that touch us, in our heart of…

Friday 24 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: