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FMLs submitted from Iowa

Today, my rabbit died. He died a painful death from ingesting too much carpet. I now have no rabbit and a patchy carpet. FML

#7414991
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25339) - you deserved it (6007)

On 01/18/2010 at 4:00am - misc - by Radioo (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was driving on roads that were bad from two days of snow. I spun my car out, and ended up half-way in a ditch. Thinking that I could push my car out of the snow, I got out of my car, landing in waist deep snow. When trying to get back in, I fell neck deep into snow. FML

#7229680
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22487) - you deserved it (5381)

On 01/09/2010 at 1:45am - misc - by warningxxLidell (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I realized I've lived alone too long. I read 'How the Grinch Stole Christmas' to my cat. I used expression in my voice, and I made sure he could see the pictures. My son called, and I told him about it. He gave me the number for the local psychiatric ward. FML

#6625843
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24143) - you deserved it (8683)

On 12/05/2009 at 11:30pm - animals - by JC (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I kissed my iced over window to know what kissing Edward Cullen would be like. My neighbor saw. My first reaction was to come up with a cover story. I licked the window and wiped my sleeve over it to look like I was cleaning it. My neighbor came over later and gave me an early Christmas gift. Windex. FML

#6472262
386 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7259) - you deserved it (80346)

On 11/27/2009 at 12:12am - misc - by obsessed (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I flew to see the guy that I've been in love with for 3 years. We spent the day at Walmart. To buy a plunger. After I blocked up the toilet. FML

#6110361
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32277) - you deserved it (8791)

On 11/01/2009 at 9:40pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I realized that acne is a major side effect of a medication I'm taking. The medication is to help me with my anxiety. The acne is creating more anxiety. And the more anxious I get, the more meds I need. And the more my face breaks out. FML

#5861611
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35978) - you deserved it (4604)

On 10/17/2009 at 2:26am - health - by JoJo - United States (Iowa)

Today, I received an email from my professor informing me that if I missed another class, I'd be dropped from the course. I have field experience to complete tomorrow as part of my major. I emailed her two weeks ago to let her know, and we're excused by the dean. She doesn't care. FML

#5675714
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32196) - you deserved it (7270)

On 10/06/2009 at 12:16am - misc - by meesh22 (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I lent my parents a copy of "The Dark Knight", saying it was one of my favorite movies so they needed to watch it. A bit later my mom called... Apparently my roommate wanted to watch it as well, but couldn't find the case to his porno and decided to just use the Batman case instead. FML

#5585947
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36209) - you deserved it (5055)

On 10/01/2009 at 3:46pm - misc - by Broly171 (man) - United States (Iowa) - moderated by Kevin Nealon

Today, I realized that my bike was stolen. It was no big deal, my name and number was on it, but it was a crappy bike anyway. I live 3 miles away, and while I was on my walk home I noticed a bike had been thrown through my principal's window. Who's bike was it? Mine. FML

#5537780
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34184) - you deserved it (1901)

On 09/28/2009 at 10:07pm - misc - by shield1123 - United States (Iowa)

Today, I went to my Russian language class after days of being sick. We must speak in Russian. The professor asked how I felt. I said "like shit." I didn't know the word I used was the verb, not the noun. So I told an awesome prof and class I was "feeling like I was in the process of defacating." FML

Today, I realized the guy I've been hooking up with has a daughter who is a year younger than me. As if that wasn't bad enough, I also found out she had a child of her own. I've been hooking up with a grandpa. FML

#5254272
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23745) - you deserved it (39243)

On 09/14/2009 at 5:11pm - misc - by nen_00 - United States (Iowa)

Today, my boyfriend came in my room dressed as Harry Potter and declared that he was going to put his basilisk into my chamber of secrets. And yes, that was my first time. FML

#5168083
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33896) - you deserved it (7513)

On 09/10/2009 at 1:18pm - intimacy - by ginny (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was at my boyfriends house, meeting his family for the first time. We were all standing in the kitchen when suddenly a small white and brown mouse ran by. As a natural instinct, I stomped on it. Turns out, it was his little sister's pet mouse that had gotten out of its cage earlier. FML

#5068921
251 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16838) - you deserved it (46093)

On 09/05/2009 at 9:31pm - misc - by JustMyLuck (woman) - United States (Iowa)



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