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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FMLs submitted from Iowa

Today, my 17 pound cat fell from a counter. It wouldn't have been a big deal if he didn't try to use my leg as a tree to cling onto on the way down. FML

#17312573
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29579) - you deserved it (4674)

On 07/30/2011 at 7:58pm - animals - by Backinzi - United States (Iowa)

Today, I got home to find my truck smashed by a fallen old tree. I was going to have the tree removed next week. FML

#16809591
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28350) - you deserved it (5564)

On 06/23/2011 at 12:47am - misc - by Username - United States (Iowa)

Today, my second roommate in less then a week got a DUI. Both roommates are demanding that I drive them around for free until they get their licenses back, or else they won't have the funds to pay their rent. FML

#16418621
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36320) - you deserved it (3487)

On 05/30/2011 at 2:11pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, while sleeping, I heard an explosion. My neighbor then knocked on my door and informed me that he had just hit my car with shrapnel from a cannon. Not only do I not have a car to drive, but I also have to put this claim on my insurance due to my neighbor being on welfare. FML

Today, I received a call from the police about a car accident that I was a witness to. As the only witness who stopped to help, I was remembered by the other cars involved. They're blaming me for the accident. The cops want to talk. FML

#14993502
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31112) - you deserved it (2595)

On 02/15/2011 at 8:13pm - misc - by Nearis (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was chosen as King for our winter formal. Even after I won, nobody wanted to dance with me. FML

#14954492
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32006) - you deserved it (3664)

On 02/13/2011 at 2:16am - misc - by Average - United States (Iowa)

Today, my friend installed this new application that shows you what a girl would look like as a boy and what a boy would look like as a girl. Well I'm a girl and when it was my turn it didn't change. FML

#14772797
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30237) - you deserved it (4712)

On 01/30/2011 at 10:30am - misc - by boylookingirl (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, trying to be romantic, I started giving my boyfriend a neck massage. He gave me a weirded-out look, removed my hand, called me creep, and wouldn't let me touch him for the rest of the day. FML

#14251219
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28404) - you deserved it (4280)

On 12/18/2010 at 7:14pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, my boss is being so cheap, he'd rather type in the dark, not fix our water heater or replace our cordless phone because he will not get his bonus if he goes over the budget. FML

#14212061
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26563) - you deserved it (2308)

On 12/15/2010 at 11:16am - work - by blahmylife (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was smoking while driving. A cop pulled me over and asked if I knew what I did wrong. I thought he could smell the tobacco, so I decided to just admit it. As it turns out, I was going well over the speed limit. FML

#14107891
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6204) - you deserved it (35950)

On 12/06/2010 at 2:11pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I won employee of the month. I was then fired for being late. FML

#14029535
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26193) - you deserved it (6539)

On 11/29/2010 at 10:08pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, my parents went to the Cayman Islands, leaving me at home in freezing Iowa. Also, even though I never get into trouble, they don't trust me enough to be home on my own. So they hired a babysitter to stay with me until they get back. I'm 17. FML

#14022751
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32512) - you deserved it (4019)

On 11/29/2010 at 11:05am - misc - by wtf (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I attempted to be nice and hold a door open for a person in a wheelchair. He hit the button to open another door. While I pointed out that I would hold the door for him, I realized that the door I was holding open for him led down some stairs. FML

#13227031
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9542) - you deserved it (30981)

On 09/27/2010 at 8:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Iowa)



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