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FMLs submitted from Iowa

Today, I learned the hard way that taking a 20 mile bike ride with my boyfriend's family the day after losing my virginity is the worst decision ever. FML

#17457202
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38599) - you deserved it (16161)

On 08/13/2011 at 2:58am - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, I told my mom I wanted to try out for the track team. Her exact words were "good luck, fatty". FML

#17425463
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27010) - you deserved it (940)

On 08/10/2011 at 1:48am - misc - by thatfatkid - United States (Iowa)

Today, the woman I'm training at work asked, while staring intently at the keyboard, "now, which one of these buttons is the space-bar again?" She is 80 years old, types about 1 word per minute, and I have just one week to get her completely trained. FML

#17376704
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25116) - you deserved it (2264)

On 08/05/2011 at 10:42am - work - by jhftrainer23 - United States (Iowa)

Today, my mom was screaming at me and said, "I wish I'd never adopted you." I guess I'm adopted then. FML

#17371969
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53055) - you deserved it (2576)

On 08/04/2011 at 10:45pm - misc - by Thebestman123 - United States (Iowa)

Today, two guys proclaiming that they were both Batman attacked me on the street. FML

#17316735
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27414) - you deserved it (3029)

On 07/31/2011 at 2:17am - health - by The Joker? - United States (Iowa)

Today, my 17 pound cat fell from a counter. It wouldn't have been a big deal if he didn't try to use my leg as a tree to cling onto on the way down. FML

#17312573
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26476) - you deserved it (4346)

On 07/30/2011 at 7:58pm - animals - by Backinzi - United States (Iowa)

Today, I got home to find my truck smashed by a fallen old tree. I was going to have the tree removed next week. FML

#16809591
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25482) - you deserved it (5224)

On 06/23/2011 at 12:47am - misc - by Username - United States (Iowa)

Today, my second roommate in less then a week got a DUI. Both roommates are demanding that I drive them around for free until they get their licenses back, or else they won't have the funds to pay their rent. FML

#16418621
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32283) - you deserved it (3155)

On 05/30/2011 at 2:11pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, while sleeping, I heard an explosion. My neighbor then knocked on my door and informed me that he had just hit my car with shrapnel from a cannon. Not only do I not have a car to drive, but I also have to put this claim on my insurance due to my neighbor being on welfare. FML

Today, I received a call from the police about a car accident that I was a witness to. As the only witness who stopped to help, I was remembered by the other cars involved. They're blaming me for the accident. The cops want to talk. FML

#14993502
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27462) - you deserved it (2326)

On 02/15/2011 at 8:13pm - misc - by Nearis (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was chosen as King for our winter formal. Even after I won, nobody wanted to dance with me. FML

#14954492
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28363) - you deserved it (3382)

On 02/13/2011 at 2:16am - misc - by Average - United States (Iowa)

Today, my friend installed this new application that shows you what a girl would look like as a boy and what a boy would look like as a girl. Well I'm a girl and when it was my turn it didn't change. FML

#14772797
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24585) - you deserved it (4192)

On 01/30/2011 at 10:30am - misc - by boylookingirl (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, trying to be romantic, I started giving my boyfriend a neck massage. He gave me a weirded-out look, removed my hand, called me creep, and wouldn't let me touch him for the rest of the day. FML

#14251219
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23037) - you deserved it (3700)

On 12/18/2010 at 7:14pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Iowa)



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