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FMLs submitted from Iowa

Today, depressed about a recent break-up with my long-term boyfriend, I bought a book about moving on after a relationship ends. The cashier placed some standard promotional fliers in my bag during check-out. Once home, I pulled out the fliers. They were for a married couples retreat. FML

#19404981
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19662) - you deserved it (2533)

On 04/04/2012 at 1:43am - love - by heartsick (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, a stranger told me how proud he was that my boyfriend and I were so open with our sexuality. For the past three years, most strangers have thought we are a pair of gay men. I am a woman. FML

#18976383
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31172) - you deserved it (6950)

On 02/02/2012 at 1:29pm - love - by Mrs. Man (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, at my job as a cocktail server in a bar, a group of good looking ladies sat in my section. As I was finishing up with the table next to them I overheard one of them saying, "I hope we don't get that guy, I want a sexy waiter tonight." FML

#18286686
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32156) - you deserved it (2653)

On 11/19/2011 at 2:58am - misc - by Tyler - United States (Iowa)

Today, it was so cold that I had to put slippers over my slippers. FML

#18207765
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22064) - you deserved it (5540)

On 11/10/2011 at 2:06am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, at work I got an urgent message from my boyfriend that there was an emergency and I should come home immediately. I took my last personal day of the month and drove the half-hour home. The emergency? The cat had vomited on the comforter. FML

#17901158
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26111) - you deserved it (3106)

On 10/04/2011 at 12:48am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, I learned the hard way that taking a 20 mile bike ride with my boyfriend's family the day after losing my virginity is the worst decision ever. FML

#17457202
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38819) - you deserved it (16227)

On 08/13/2011 at 2:58am - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, I told my mom I wanted to try out for the track team. Her exact words were "good luck, fatty". FML

#17425463
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31458) - you deserved it (6053)

On 08/10/2011 at 1:48am - misc - by thatfatkid - United States (Iowa)

Today, the woman I'm training at work asked, while staring intently at the keyboard, "now, which one of these buttons is the space-bar again?" She is 80 years old, types about 1 word per minute, and I have just one week to get her completely trained. FML

#17376704
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27972) - you deserved it (2499)

On 08/05/2011 at 10:42am - work - by jhftrainer23 - United States (Iowa)

Today, my mom was screaming at me and said, "I wish I'd never adopted you." I guess I'm adopted then. FML

#17371969
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54197) - you deserved it (2660)

On 08/04/2011 at 10:45pm - misc - by Thebestman123 - United States (Iowa)

Today, two guys proclaiming that they were both Batman attacked me on the street. FML

#17316735
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27748) - you deserved it (3061)

On 07/31/2011 at 2:17am - health - by The Joker? - United States (Iowa)

Today, my 17 pound cat fell from a counter. It wouldn't have been a big deal if he didn't try to use my leg as a tree to cling onto on the way down. FML

#17312573
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26876) - you deserved it (4391)

On 07/30/2011 at 7:58pm - animals - by Backinzi - United States (Iowa)

Today, I got home to find my truck smashed by a fallen old tree. I was going to have the tree removed next week. FML

#16809591
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26521) - you deserved it (5358)

On 06/23/2011 at 12:47am - misc - by Username - United States (Iowa)

Today, my second roommate in less then a week got a DUI. Both roommates are demanding that I drive them around for free until they get their licenses back, or else they won't have the funds to pay their rent. FML

#16418621
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33614) - you deserved it (3285)

On 05/30/2011 at 2:11pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Iowa)



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