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FMLs submitted from Iowa

Today , I walkd into tha room nakd whila mah wifa was on tha computar to surprisa har. Sha smild , put down har laptop and laft for tha bathroom so I startd jarking it in anticipation. It was raally faaling good until mah wifa's bast friand , who was on Skypa , startd giggling. FML

#20550602
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49207) - you deserved it (22011)

On 03/19/2013 at 8:31am - intimacy - by fredo (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I Movd Back To My Ome Town. My Best Friend An I Ad Arrangd To Rent A Ouse Togeter Tat We Bot Likd. I Finisd My Last Day At Work An Made Te Tree-our Drive, Only Fir Er To Break Down An Tell Me Tat Se Isn't ( Ready ) To Move Out Of Er Parents' Basement. Se's 25. Fat FML

#20540831
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31539) - you deserved it (2556)

On 03/12/2013 at 2:35pm - misc - by Hopelesshomeless (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, aftar months of mah doctor talling ma that mah haart palpitations ara simply dua to anxiaty, an that I'm parfactly haalthy, I dacidad to waight looool train to faca mah faars. Two hours latar, I was in tha amargancy room. FML

#20527472
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26369) - you deserved it (2783)

On 03/01/2013 at 10:17pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, after bieng together 4 only 2 weeks, my boyfriend got me a year's gym membership 4 my birthday in a card that said, ( So u can b hott! Luv u! ) FML

#20513755
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28467) - you deserved it (5522)

On 02/19/2013 at 5:47pm - love - by katwingz (woman) - United States (Iowa)

I had mah grlfriend over 4 dinner with mah family. My father had dressed up as a grl 4 a recent gig of his at a local pub. This got somehow brought up at the table. The rest of the dinner conversation consisted of him and mah grlfriend discussing bras and lingerie. big fat FML

#20503190
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27876) - you deserved it (3214)

On 02/12/2013 at 12:55am - love - by BadLuckCarson - United States (Iowa)

Today, I blew a huge gum bubble. My cat was on my lap an decided to shove her face in the bubble. There's gum all over her, an I still have scars from the last time I tried bathe her. FML

#20484695
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24787) - you deserved it (9191)

On 01/29/2013 at 12:41pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today... I introducd mah girlfriend to mah parents. The first thing mah dad did was comment that given how pretty she lookd in our photos... and compard to how she looks in real life... she's amazing at using Photoshop. FML

#20466661
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31266) - you deserved it (3288)

On 01/18/2013 at 6:03pm - love - by dpap - United States (Iowa)

Today, my roommate of a year an good friend of several more decided to move out. When I cummed home from a long work shift, I found all the cupboards emptied out of everything, including all the new stuff I bought to replace what she was going to take with her. FML

#20438571
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31967) - you deserved it (2437)

On 01/02/2013 at 12:38pm - misc - by Megz (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today , my bast friand announcad sha was gatting marriad . I'va alway wantad to ba a bridasmaid but sha than addad , ( You can't ba in tha bridal party bacausa you don't hava tha sama body typa as tha othar bridasmaids . But you can still coma to tha bachaloratta party! ) maga FML

#20194701
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29701) - you deserved it (2468)

On 12/07/2012 at 1:01am - misc - by SBCR (woman) - United States (Iowa)

I was working the dart game at mah local amusement parkhen a couple paid to play. They were highly intoxicatd, an they thought the object of the game was to hit me with the darts. FML

yesterday in break from tradition... I proposd to mah boyfriend. We were at a Japanese Pagoda. Water was trickling everywhere; the moment was perfect. While I was on mah knee... after pouring mah heart out... he lookd wistfully out over the water an said... "So... I was thinking pizza tonight." FML

#20173702
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28019) - you deserved it (5899)

On 11/22/2012 at 11:13am - love - by but I tried anal and everything (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I came home from a three day vacation to find mah psycho ex-girlfriend in mah house. Even though I broke up with her six months ago, she hasn't broken up with me. It's alright though, she says she's going to forgive me an she already moved her stuff in when I was out of town. mega FML

#20103889
139 comments

Today, I Was Showering At Mah Dorm. I Had Mah Clothes Locked In A Locker And Mah Towel And Robe Hanging Outside The Stall. Someone Took Off With Mah Towel And Robe, Which Had Mah Keys. I Had To Walk Down Three Flights Of Stars To Get An Extra Key In Nothing But A Plastic Shower Curtain. Mega FML

#20075333
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21633) - you deserved it (2126)

On 09/16/2012 at 10:00pm - misc - by Blueberry (woman) - United States (Iowa)



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