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FMLs submitted from Iowa

Today, in the middle of sex with my boyfriend, my visiting brother knockd on the door saying he'd want to hear the details later!! My boyfriend said, "Sure", and kept going!! FML

#21346952
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28468) - you deserved it (3041)

On 01/30/2015 at 6:31pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, at the soup kitchen I volunteer at, a guy calld the food crap and threatend to shove his bowl up my ass if I didn't give him something better. FML

#21340847
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30126) - you deserved it (2483)

On 01/20/2015 at 8:23am - work - by klaatu barada nikto (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, my grlfriend and I were trying something new. I endd up with a shard of glass in my back and a concussion. Don't have sex on a glass table. FML

#21335128
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18048) - you deserved it (26291)

On 01/11/2015 at 2:10pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Yesterday, I performd the Heimlich maneuver on a man. He cussd me out because the piece of food he was choking on was "a perfectly good portion of lobster". big fat FML

yesterday a customer said the pants she was buying rang up more than advertisd. I quietly told her plus-sizes were on sale. The customer yelld in front of a whole line of people, "So I'm fat an can't read! Any other insults you'd like to throw at me?" an stormd out of the store. FML

#21301098
121 comments

Today... I was driving wit ma grandma looool and se was going 30 over te speed limit. To slow er down... I said... "Hey look... te police". Se slammed on te brakes so ard I it ma ead on te dasboard. FML

#21279207
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31572) - you deserved it (15669)

On 10/16/2014 at 4:56pm - misc - by karmaaa - United States (Iowa)

TODAY... AT MY DINING JOB... MY BOSS TOLD ME THE FOOD WAS "TECHNICALLY ILLEGAL TO SERVE..." AIR QUOTES AND ALL. FML

#21249316
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33641) - you deserved it (2672)

On 08/31/2014 at 9:56pm - work - by dining - United States (Iowa)

Taday I Askd Mah Dad To Give Me A Harcut. After 20 Minutes Of "fuck"s An "shit"s, He Gave Up An Just Shavd Mah Head Bald. I Pull Off The Look So Badly That Two People I Don't Even Know Have Already Told Me I Look Lyk A Psychopath. FML

#21245833
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35156) - you deserved it (5930)

On 08/26/2014 at 3:12pm - misc - by alanh69 (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today , I got into trouble at work because a customer complained about mah face tattoo , I don't have a face tattoo but I do have one behind mah ear. Nonetheless , I still got written up an had to cover it with a band-aid,hich ripped out hairhen I took it off. FML

#21225337
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33643) - you deserved it (9789)

On 07/30/2014 at 11:28pm - work - by heatherfeather22 - United States (Iowa)

Today, I found out that mah boyfriend's mother still calls his ex-grlfriend her "future daughter-in-law". FML

#21218491
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38200) - you deserved it (2756)

On 07/23/2014 at 4:57pm - misc - by Rosey (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today , I was interviewing a woman for a job!! She told me that she may need days off because of her artistic son!! I jokingly replied , "Does he color on the walls or something?" She then stared at me with a werd look on her face!! Autistic , her son is autistic!! FML

#21205262
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38064) - you deserved it (19704)

On 07/10/2014 at 6:17pm - work - by dammit hearing aid - United States (Iowa)

Yesterday, at mah local amusement park, I decided it'd be fun to meet someone on the roller coaster by sitting alone and hoping that someone nice would sit next to me. I rode the roller coaster 7 times. I sat alone each time. FML

#21202986
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40818) - you deserved it (12450)

On 07/08/2014 at 3:40pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today... I was working my shift at our local nursing home. I was assisting a "sweet"... "innocent" 100-year-old lady... and she had a bunch of used tissues balled up in her lap... so I offered to dispose of them in the waste-basket. She told me that if I touched them... she would kill everything I love. FML

#21175899
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43819) - you deserved it (4940)

On 06/15/2014 at 8:21pm - work - by caleighrossi - United States (Iowa)



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