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FMLs submitted from Indiana

Today, on the bus, a delusional old man had an extremely long conversation with me, referring to me as "Leslie" and talking about "our childhood together". Not wanting to hurt his feelings I played along. At his stop he got up and grinned at me, saying "I'm kidding. I never knew a Leslie in my life. Nice rack." FML

#16860650
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38883) - you deserved it (15623)

On 06/26/2011 at 2:12am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, I found out that my beloved guinea pig has impaction. For the rest of his life it will be my duty to clean out his rectum manually every month, or every week/day if it gets worse. FML

#16860122
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29670) - you deserved it (4862)

On 06/26/2011 at 1:39am - animals - by animallover (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I painted my daughter's bedroom. When I wasn't paying attention, the cat walked through the paint tray. There are now Barney purple paw prints all over the house. FML

#16728173
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24362) - you deserved it (8426)

On 06/18/2011 at 12:10pm - animals - by Barney - United States (Indiana)

Today, as I was smoking a cigarette I realized that it's time to quit. This realization came to me after a particularly violent coughing bout forced not tar out of my lungs, but rather poo out of my bum. FML

#16701794
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9356) - you deserved it (44504)

On 06/16/2011 at 9:39pm - health - by Hopslammer (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my boyfriend got a job at a trendy clothing store in the mall. Trying to be supportive, I went to visit him and tried something on. I got stuck in the jeans and had to call my boyfriend, who sent the manager to pull the jeans off me. FML

#16659008
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26513) - you deserved it (12549)

On 06/14/2011 at 9:56am - misc - by mimabee - United States (Indiana)

Today, my boyfriend and I pulled over to have sex in his mother's car. It was going great until I leaned back onto the horn, waking up our whole neighborhood. FML

#16635570
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10007) - you deserved it (41041)

On 06/12/2011 at 10:50pm - intimacy - by Shelly - United States (Indiana)

Today, I changed the date of my birthday to today on Facebook to see how many people actually know my birthday. My mom wished me a happy birthday. FML

#16527718
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43341) - you deserved it (14482)

On 06/06/2011 at 9:50am - misc - by Jake Whitte - United States (Indiana)

Today, I woke up to my Playstation 3 and my laptop missing and window open. My dad faked a robbery to see me freak out. FML

#16525233
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33507) - you deserved it (6344)

On 06/06/2011 at 3:06am - misc - by dwhite032 - United States (Indiana)

Today, I finally convinced my girlfriend to let me give her a foot massage after she had a long day at work. Halfway through, she fell asleep. Wanting to see how ticklish she actually was, I started to tickle her feet. She then kicked me straight in the nuts whilst sleeping. FML

Today, while driving my new car, a squirrel ran in front of me so I slammed on my brakes. The person behind me didn't notice and rear-ended me. The squirrel got hit by a car going the opposite direction. FML

#16182732
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30561) - you deserved it (16111)

On 05/15/2011 at 2:42am - misc - by Username - United States (Indiana)

Today, my girlfriend sent out a mass text to everyone on her contact list. She's getting married in a month. I didn't propose to her. FML

#16149658
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39132) - you deserved it (3240)

On 05/12/2011 at 9:09pm - love - by Whosthegroom (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, on the school bus, I rapped on a window in an attempt to get my friend's attention. A guy sitting behind me took this as an opportunity to shove my face into the window, breaking my nose. FML

#16146603
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30452) - you deserved it (4793)

On 05/12/2011 at 5:45pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, the toilet on the top floor of my house burst, soaked the bathroom, and water dripped down into the kitchen and the basement for hours when nobody was home. Eight blowers and a dehumidifier later, the house is about 90 degrees and I can't leave. FML

#15898424
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22973) - you deserved it (2471)

On 04/23/2011 at 2:33pm - misc - by wet (man) - United States (Indiana)



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