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FMLs submitted from Indiana

Today, I painted my daughter's bedroom. When I wasn't paying attention, the cat walked through the paint tray. There are now Barney purple paw prints all over the house. FML

#16728173
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23697) - you deserved it (8329)

On 06/18/2011 at 12:10pm - animals - by Barney - United States (Indiana)

Today, as I was smoking a cigarette I realized that it's time to quit. This realization came to me after a particularly violent coughing bout forced not tar out of my lungs, but rather poo out of my bum. FML

#16701794
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8998) - you deserved it (43442)

On 06/16/2011 at 9:39pm - health - by Hopslammer (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my boyfriend got a job at a trendy clothing store in the mall. Trying to be supportive, I went to visit him and tried something on. I got stuck in the jeans and had to call my boyfriend, who sent the manager to pull the jeans off me. FML

#16659008
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25705) - you deserved it (12278)

On 06/14/2011 at 9:56am - misc - by mimabee - United States (Indiana)

Today, my boyfriend and I pulled over to have sex in his mother's car. It was going great until I leaned back onto the horn, waking up our whole neighborhood. FML

#16635570
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9884) - you deserved it (40703)

On 06/12/2011 at 10:50pm - intimacy - by Shelly - United States (Indiana)

Today, I changed the date of my birthday to today on Facebook to see how many people actually know my birthday. My mom wished me a happy birthday. FML

#16527718
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42132) - you deserved it (14162)

On 06/06/2011 at 9:50am - misc - by Jake Whitte - United States (Indiana)

Today, I woke up to my Playstation 3 and my laptop missing and window open. My dad faked a robbery to see me freak out. FML

#16525233
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32699) - you deserved it (6263)

On 06/06/2011 at 3:06am - misc - by dwhite032 - United States (Indiana)

Today, I finally convinced my girlfriend to let me give her a foot massage after she had a long day at work. Halfway through, she fell asleep. Wanting to see how ticklish she actually was, I started to tickle her feet. She then kicked me straight in the nuts whilst sleeping. FML

Today, while driving my new car, a squirrel ran in front of me so I slammed on my brakes. The person behind me didn't notice and rear-ended me. The squirrel got hit by a car going the opposite direction. FML

#16182732
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30422) - you deserved it (16069)

On 05/15/2011 at 2:42am - misc - by Username - United States (Indiana)

Today, my girlfriend sent out a mass text to everyone on her contact list. She's getting married in a month. I didn't propose to her. FML

#16149658
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38940) - you deserved it (3233)

On 05/12/2011 at 9:09pm - love - by Whosthegroom (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, on the school bus, I rapped on a window in an attempt to get my friend's attention. A guy sitting behind me took this as an opportunity to shove my face into the window, breaking my nose. FML

#16146603
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30294) - you deserved it (4783)

On 05/12/2011 at 5:45pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, the toilet on the top floor of my house burst, soaked the bathroom, and water dripped down into the kitchen and the basement for hours when nobody was home. Eight blowers and a dehumidifier later, the house is about 90 degrees and I can't leave. FML

#15898424
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22845) - you deserved it (2465)

On 04/23/2011 at 2:33pm - misc - by wet (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my sister told me she didn’t want me in her wedding pictures because I looked fat in my bridesmaid's dress. FML

#15835371
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43073) - you deserved it (7346)

On 04/18/2011 at 4:25pm - misc - by samikai523 (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I called the car repair shop to complain to the manager about their tow driver who keeps making sexual passes at me. The girl taking my call started crying and said that their driver was her husband. I'm being sexually harassed, my car is dead, and I think I just ended a marriage. FML

#15399949
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45939) - you deserved it (3846)

On 03/20/2011 at 1:42pm - misc - by WhyMe (woman) - United States (Indiana)



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