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FMLs submitted from Indiana

Today, my coworker friend told me she was going to the restroom. Soon after, I did the same. Once in the stall, I could smell a stench emanating from the next one. I yelled, "Ew, you stinky bitch" and sprayed air freshener under the partition. As I left the stall, my friend walked into the restroom. FML

#18490582
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8998) - you deserved it (41024)

On 12/11/2011 at 11:46pm - work - by stinky (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky. He pulled off my panties and was about to go down on me when he said, "Wait, what's this white thing?" It was a piece of toilet paper. FML

#18452488
287 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36837) - you deserved it (18939)

On 12/07/2011 at 12:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was at the mall and started singing along to the playing of "I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas." A kid glanced at me and said to her mom, "She IS a hippopotamus." FML

#18358747
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30235) - you deserved it (9487)

On 11/26/2011 at 6:13pm - misc - by Person15 - United States (Indiana)

Today, my girlfriend of two years broke up with me because her father, who abandoned her before she was born and just reentered her life, doesn't approve. FML

#18354062
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34701) - you deserved it (2028)

On 11/26/2011 at 3:16am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, my mom learned how to use the text messaging on her smartphone. I've received 37 already, and she calls after every single one to make sure I understood her. FML

#18137674
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35487) - you deserved it (2896)

On 11/02/2011 at 11:15am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, I spent about 10 minutes searching frantically for my cell phone, while holding it up to my ear and talking to my friend about my plans tonight. FML

#17934775
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10004) - you deserved it (38312)

On 10/08/2011 at 11:54am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my boyfriend still couldn't work out where my clitoris is. It's RIGHT THERE, you idiot. I've pointed it out, but each time it's like he needs a compass and a map or something. FML

#17847323
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35893) - you deserved it (11855)

On 09/27/2011 at 11:56am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was working at my new job at a food court on campus. One of the supervisors came up to my station and told me that I "really look like someone who, through some miracle, accidentally found their way into college." He then threw a pickle at me. FML

#17836601
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22344) - you deserved it (2258)

On 09/26/2011 at 1:18am - work - by SakuraBreeze (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my girlfriend of two years confessed that she'd gotten married. But not to worry: she only did it for "tax reasons." FML

Today, I found out that when you kick another man in the snowglobes and he smiles at you, there's something creepily wrong. FML

#17292941
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33062) - you deserved it (6653)

On 07/29/2011 at 12:20am - intimacy - by FML (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I gave my dad a brochure for anger management. His response? Throwing a chair out the window. FML

#17285530
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34922) - you deserved it (6868)

On 07/28/2011 at 11:25am - health - by 99520 - United States (Indiana)

Today, I got into an argument with a militantly feminist co-worker of mine. She threw several vulgar insults at me and debased the entire male gender before storming off. I'd only asked if she needed help while she was doing a crossword. FML

#17284232
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30013) - you deserved it (4637)

On 07/28/2011 at 6:51am - work - by Rick - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was walking my dog, and a whole bunch of teenagers were driving around my neighborhood throwing water balloons at people. They followed me for 3 blocks. FML

#17277458
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26356) - you deserved it (2412)

On 07/27/2011 at 4:09am - animals - by CarrieRedburn (woman) - United States (Indiana)



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