FMLs submitted from Indiana

Today, my teacher told us at least 7 different stories about his cat, Jeremy, and how much he eats. And he wonders why we never get anything done in his class. FML

by alicia75 / 03/26/2014 at 7:45pm / United States (Indiana) / Animals

Today, my mother taught my 98-year-old great-uncle to knock on the wall if he needs us. He can't remember who we are; but every hour he can remember to knock to ask, "Is it breakfast yet?" FML

by can't sleep / 03/18/2014 at 4:36am / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was walking and saw a quarter. I bent down to pick it up. Barely a foot ahead there was another, so I crawled over to get it. This continued for about six feet when I realize a kid was laying them out in a trail. I had collected 7 fake quarters and the kid had it on video. FML

by Anonymous / 03/15/2014 at 11:46pm / United States (Indiana) / Money

Today, I had the most intelligent conversation I've ever had with my boyfriend. He was getting really in-depth about subjects like biotechnology and gamma radiation. I soon realized he was only referring to the Incredible Hulk. FML

by cubs44fan / 03/04/2014 at 6:25pm / United States (Indiana) / Geek

Today, my cat decided that instead of using the brand-new scratching post I bought him, he was going to use my pant leg while I was asleep. FML

by tornkhakis / 02/24/2014 at 2:20am / United States (Indiana) / Animals

Today, I went on a blind date. At the end of the night, I told him I had a surprisingly great time. He replied, "Yeah, that was fun. You're really funny and smart. If you were pretty, I'd totally go out with you again." FML

by fiercehawk / 02/18/2014 at 12:45am / United States (Indiana) / Love

Today, at work, a customer asked me to unlock the restroom for them. I honestly couldn't figure out which gender they were, but I didn't want to be rude and ask, so I took a chance. I unlocked the wrong one. FML

by elizabethkalyn / 02/10/2014 at 3:48pm / United States (Indiana) / Work

Today, my boyfriend saw a YouTube video of a guy throwing boiling water into the cold air, with the water immediately turning to ice and vapor. He copied it, but only succeeded in dousing himself with boiling water, then making me drive his idiot self to the hospital. FML

by Anonymous / 01/10/2014 at 11:12am / United States (Indiana) / Health

Today, my dog found out how to turn my Xbox off. So whenever he wants attention, guess what he does. FML

by Z3R0G5 / 01/06/2014 at 6:00pm / United States (Indiana) / Animals

Today, a woman called the store I work for. When she found out it was a wrong number, she started to cry and asked me to stay on the line with her, talking about her dead husband and how she hasn't laughed in years. FML

by icy_in_indiana / 12/10/2013 at 10:41pm / United States (Indiana) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, while having sex with my husband, we had to move around our cat during position changes. Our cat controls our sex life. FML

by anon / 12/02/2013 at 11:26pm / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that my dad paid for my sister's friend's airplane ticket so she could attend my sister's wedding. I would have been there myself, but I couldn't afford the airplane ticket. FML

by Akestarr / 12/02/2013 at 8:28am / United States (Indiana) / Money

Today, I have to spend the whole day in a moving truck with my dad. He had beans for dinner, and it's too cold to crack open a window. FML

by cb / 11/25/2013 at 1:58pm / United States (Indiana) / Transportation