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FMLs submitted from Indiana

Today, I finally built up the courage to confess my love to the girl of my dreams. She turned me down. When I asked her about all the recent receptive behavior toward me, she replied, "I thought it'd be funny." FML

#19552935
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29108) - you deserved it (2106)

On 04/30/2012 at 12:01pm - love - by HighasaCloud (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I walked into a public restroom to find that they had set up a free health clinic for the homeless; by that I mean that I found one bum inspecting and cleaning the infected, bloody genitals of another bum. FML

#19531341
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24321) - you deserved it (2437)

On 04/26/2012 at 8:08am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, my seven-year-old told me to lose weight. Her reason? There's a family fun day coming up at her school and she is embarrassed. FML

#19447542
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17186) - you deserved it (19633)

On 04/11/2012 at 1:04am - kids - by vanessax (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my new roommate took a shower. This would be a good thing, except for the fact that it's apparently taken her two months just to take this one. I have to live with her for another year. FML

#19411830
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20646) - you deserved it (1714)

On 04/05/2012 at 12:18pm - misc - by I hate nasty people - United States (Indiana)

Today, I fell asleep on the couch while babysitting. When the kids' parents came home, they made fake crying noises to see if I would wake up. I slept like a baby, and by the time they finally roused me, I'd left a nice drool stain on the armrest. FML

#19385334
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6121) - you deserved it (28687)

On 03/31/2012 at 10:52pm - misc - by whatnow - United States (Indiana)

Today, I visited my new doctor, hoping that he would be able to figure out the cause of the pains I've been having for years. He told me there's nothing he can do, that half the drugs out there cause cancer anyway and that I should look into homeopathy. Great. FML

#19382117
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17618) - you deserved it (1965)

On 03/31/2012 at 12:17pm - health - by freakofnature (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, while at work, a man came up to me and screamed that I was the devil's child, pointing at the tattoo on my wrist the whole time. I just stood there while he prayed for my soul. FML

Today, I went to the dorm showers to use the facilities. As I was getting in the shower, I slipped and landed face first into a puddle. It wasn't water. FML

Today, I learned that lemonade and urine look very similar to one another. I also learned that they taste very different. FML

#19183554
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15157) - you deserved it (20412)

On 02/28/2012 at 5:44pm - misc - by iVaughtTV - United States (Indiana)

Today, I had to run a timed mile. I'm terrible at running. During the run, I thought I was doing a good job. That is, until the teacher told me to stop because I was three laps behind everyone else. FML

#18773775
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24575) - you deserved it (5544)

On 01/11/2012 at 7:51am - health - by Fluffy - United States (Indiana)

Today, I'm so insecure that I was still slightly flattered when the demented old man at the nursing home where I work hit on me, because at least somebody finds me attractive. FML

#18712372
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22418) - you deserved it (3103)

On 01/05/2012 at 12:17am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via the medium of free-style rapping. FML

#18535495
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30675) - you deserved it (4090)

On 12/17/2011 at 12:03pm - love - by Emily - United States (Indiana)

Today, my coworker friend told me she was going to the restroom. Soon after, I did the same. Once in the stall, I could smell a stench emanating from the next one. I yelled, "Ew, you stinky bitch" and sprayed air freshener under the partition. As I left the stall, my friend walked into the restroom. FML

#18490582
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8965) - you deserved it (40880)

On 12/11/2011 at 11:46pm - work - by stinky (woman) - United States (Indiana)



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