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FMLs submitted from Indiana

Today, I woke up with a vague memory of buying something last night while drunk. According to my credit card summary I made a $270 purchase from a home shopping channel. I guess in 5-7 days I'll find out what it was. FML

#20147165
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8985) - you deserved it (25478)

On 11/04/2012 at 11:37am - money - by fnfantastic - United States (Indiana)

Today, while mowing the lawn, I was attacked by an underground hornet nest. I now have many stings, two scared dogs, and a mower still running outside. The hornets are swarming it and some are sitting on the lever, as if to turn it off. It's like they know. FML

#20121138
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22647) - you deserved it (1486)

On 10/17/2012 at 4:08pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, my parents gave me a sock and card for my eighteenth birthday. The card said, "Now that Dobby is free, get out." FML

#20118693
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26806) - you deserved it (3315)

On 10/15/2012 at 9:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend trying to initiate sex with me in my sleep. He confessed to thinking that if he did it lightly enough, I'd think I was just dreaming. FML

#20115885
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26812) - you deserved it (3836)

On 10/14/2012 at 12:24am - intimacy - by Light Sleeper - United States (Indiana)

Today, while working security at a welfare office, I had to listen as a claimant gushed about her upcoming Caribbean cruise. I work two jobs and haven't had a vacation since 2006. FML

#20092291
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22978) - you deserved it (1627)

On 09/28/2012 at 1:40pm - work - by getajob (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was excited to get my first writing assignment since starting law school. I found out that I have to write a paper defending free speech. This wouldn't be a problem if I didn't have to defend the Westboro Baptist Church and if I weren't a former Marine. FML

#20079105
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28963) - you deserved it (3011)

On 09/19/2012 at 10:54am - misc - by LawStudent (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I went for my follow-up appointment with my surgeon. He walked into the room and said, "I thought you died." FML

Today, I met my husband's family for the first time. My nightmare versions were better. FML

#20055328
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22305) - you deserved it (2416)

On 09/03/2012 at 4:47am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, I announced to my boyfriend that I'm pregnant. He immediately denied that it was his because "a childhood accident" supposedly left him sterile. He has a child from a previous relationship. FML

#20046702
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24925) - you deserved it (5162)

On 08/28/2012 at 7:08pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my boss reprimanded me in front of the rest of the staff for "not following instructions" because I went to a company meeting. I have the email from him telling me to go to the meeting. He thinks I faked it. Unemployment sucks. FML

#20036858
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22585) - you deserved it (1344)

On 08/23/2012 at 1:24am - work - by BrokeButSmart - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was giving my boyfriend head on the living room couch. Apparently his two cats didn't approve, and they started attacking my face. Luckily for him, since my boyfriend was holding my head down, his privates didn't get a scratch. FML

#20022569
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26043) - you deserved it (4858)

On 08/15/2012 at 1:15pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, my boyfriend and I went to a party. He got drunk and started talking about how his hot blonde girlfriend gives him great blowjobs. I'm a brunette. FML

#20004612
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33408) - you deserved it (2756)

On 08/05/2012 at 9:15pm - intimacy - by kklaucen14 (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was changing my son's diaper when he said "Momma." Astonished that he'd finally spoken, I clapped and smiled proudly. My clap scared the crap out of him. Literally. FML

#20004599
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21512) - you deserved it (4483)

On 08/05/2012 at 9:10pm - kids - by milf - United States (Indiana)



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