FMLs submitted from Indiana

Today, at work a customer bitched me out for not explicitly telling her that our peanut butter pancakes contain real peanut butter. She's threatening to sue because she's allergic to peanuts. FML

by Anonymous / 06/04/2015 at 9:07pm / United States (Indiana) / Work

Today, I made a nursing home resident laugh so hard that he had a heart attack. FML

by Anonymous / 06/03/2015 at 6:15am / United States (Indiana) / Health

Today, I found out my dog's new favorite game to play: "If you don't stop petting me, I'll bite your balls as hard as I can." FML

by FMLintheanus / 05/27/2015 at 12:29am / United States (Indiana) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was looking at old pictures with my mom and saw one of myself crying in kindergarten. I asked why I was crying. She said that was the day a boy kissed me on the cheek, and I thought I'd gotten pregnant. She then decided to give me the sex talk. FML

by shitty shit / 05/26/2015 at 11:40am / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy

Today, I had to ask one of my coworkers if we were supposed to return a client's teeth to her. I work at a jewellery store. FML

by grossedout / 05/22/2015 at 11:02am / United States (Indiana) / Work

Today, in my film class, we were watching Schindler's List. At least, we tried. The moron next to me kept interrupting the most intense scenes with a very loud, "I don't get it." Not only did she break the focus of the class, but we had to keep stopping the movie to explain it to her. FML

by Anonymous / 05/19/2015 at 3:53pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I surprised my 7 and 1.5 year old girls with a princess dinner. I quickly realized it was a scam when the "princesses" arrived looking more suited to a bachelor party. I was able to quickly get the girls out, but have spent the evening explaining why Pocahontas was heavily tattooed. FML

by colorfun / 05/17/2015 at 11:38pm / United States (Indiana) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my husband wants me to apologize for getting angry when his father told me I'm getting so fat that I look like a whale. I'm not fat, I'm just 8 months pregnant. FML

by wtf / 05/01/2015 at 6:57pm / United States (Indiana) / Love

Today, I was called a fascist and accused of being "racist" against poor people, all because some crazy meth-mouthed bitch couldn't afford some booze and expected me to cut the price by almost 40% so she could. FML

by Anonymous / 04/12/2015 at 11:18am / United States (Indiana) / Work

Today, in my online class I accidentally unmuted my mic. Normally that would be fine except today I decided to serenade myself with a silly song. I didn't realize until everyone started clapping at the end of the song. FML

by acapelladisaster / 03/12/2015 at 8:39pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, a dog bit me, tearing a hole through my sweatpants, my shorts, and my underwear, all to get at the dog treat I'd hidden in my pocket. FML

by Anonymous / 03/07/2015 at 3:14pm / United States (Indiana) / Animals

Today, I boarded a plane. A woman decided that she didn't like where she put her carry on luggage and pulled it out from over my head. The heavy luggage then fell right into my face, the wheel smacking me in the mouth busting my lip open. She just laughed and waltzed away without a word. FML

by wellalrightythen / 02/09/2015 at 1:23am / United States (Indiana) / Health

Today, I showed my son the old trick of turning a calculator upside down and spelling "BOOBIES" on it in numbers. He laughed, then spent nearly 20 minutes trying to spell "COCKS", before giving up and hurling the calculator across the room. I wish my sperm had a warranty. FML

by 3722145 / 01/30/2015 at 7:51pm / United States (Indiana) / Kids