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FMLs submitted from Indiana

Today, I was looking at old pictures with my mom and saw one of myself crying in kindergarten. I asked why I was crying. She said that was the day a boy kissed me on the cheek, and I thought I'd gotten pregnant. She then decided to give me the sex talk. FML

#21416031
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33930) - you deserved it (3657)

On 05/26/2015 at 11:40am - intimacy - by shitty shit - United States (Indiana)

Today, I had to ask one of my coworkers if we were supposed to return a client's teeth to her. I work at a jewellery store. FML

#21413953
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24350) - you deserved it (2092)

On 05/22/2015 at 11:02am - work - by grossedout (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, in my film class, we were watching Schindler's List. At least, we tried. The moron next to me kept interrupting the most intense scenes with a very loud, "I don't get it." Not only did she break the focus of the class, but we had to keep stopping the movie to explain it to her. FML

#21412612
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26308) - you deserved it (1787)

On 05/19/2015 at 3:53pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I surprised my 7 and 1.5 year old girls with a princess dinner. I quickly realized it was a scam when the "princesses" arrived looking more suited to a bachelor party. I was able to quickly get the girls out, but have spent the evening explaining why Pocahontas was heavily tattooed. FML

Today, my husband wants me to apologize for getting angry when his father told me I'm getting so fat that I look like a whale. I'm not fat, I'm just 8 months pregnant. FML

#21403055
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33518) - you deserved it (3033)

On 05/01/2015 at 6:57pm - misc - by wtf - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was called a fascist and accused of being "racist" against poor people, all because some crazy meth-mouthed bitch couldn't afford some booze and expected me to cut the price by almost 40% so she could. FML

#21392314
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29056) - you deserved it (2110)

On 04/12/2015 at 11:18am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, in my online class I accidentally unmuted my mic. Normally that would be fine except today I decided to serenade myself with a silly song. I didn't realize until everyone started clapping at the end of the song. FML

#21373396
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29274) - you deserved it (6773)

On 03/12/2015 at 8:39pm - misc - by acapelladisaster - United States (Indiana)

Today, a dog bit me, tearing a hole through my sweatpants, my shorts, and my underwear, all to get at the dog treat I'd hidden in my pocket. FML

#21369995
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27977) - you deserved it (8979)

On 03/07/2015 at 3:14pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, I boarded a plane. A woman decided that she didn't like where she put her carry on luggage and pulled it out from over my head. The heavy luggage then fell right into my face, the wheel smacking me in the mouth busting my lip open. She just laughed and waltzed away without a word. FML

#21352523
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39013) - you deserved it (2377)

On 02/09/2015 at 1:23am - health - by wellalrightythen - United States (Indiana)

Today, I showed my son the old trick of turning a calculator upside down and spelling "BOOBIES" on it in numbers. He laughed, then spent nearly 20 minutes trying to spell "COCKS", before giving up and hurling the calculator across the room. I wish my sperm had a warranty. FML

#21346989
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25801) - you deserved it (6516)

On 01/30/2015 at 7:51pm - kids - by 3722145 (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was faced with the inevitable horrible circumstances which lead me to put in a tampon on a moving city bus. FML

#21337228
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32835) - you deserved it (5000)

On 01/14/2015 at 9:18pm - misc - by bloody_hell (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, after getting into bed, I found a used condom under my covers. I asked my roommate about it. She freely admitted that since my bed was comfier than hers, she had sex with her boyfriend on it. FML

#21333313
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42038) - you deserved it (3198)

On 01/08/2015 at 2:10pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was complimented on my freckles. I don't actually have freckles, just a load of blackheads that won't go away. FML

#21322767
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30272) - you deserved it (3623)

On 12/23/2014 at 3:41pm - health - by eamiller (woman) - United States (Indiana)



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