FMLs submitted from Indiana

Today, I woke up and took my mom to work. It wasn't until after I got home, logged on Facebook and looked at the upcoming birthdays to see that it was her birthday today. No wonder she was silent the entire car ride and slammed the door on the way out. FML

by MegGRRRz / 11/28/2009 at 10:33am / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I told my boyfriend of nine months that depression runs in my family and I think the reason I've been flipping shit so much lately may be that I am depressed. Not five minutes later he decided a break would be "the best thing for us right now." FML

by Guess / 11/21/2009 at 2:10pm / United States (Indiana) / Love

Today, I was sitting with a friend who moved back into town, and he told me about how he hooked up with a girl at a bar last night. I asked him if she was hot, he responded "Yeah, I have a picture of her on my phone." It was a picture of my girlfriend. FML

by anonymous / 11/21/2009 at 3:00am / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, the city shut off the water at my house because my roommate thought that the water bills he had been hoarding were "suggestions." FML

by parched / 11/02/2009 at 12:30pm / United States (Indiana) / Money

Today, someone left a used condom under the windshield wiper of my car. I didn't notice it until I was driving. And it was raining. It was even tied, so the contents couldn't leak out. I'm not planning artificial insemination anytime soon, but thanks for the thought. Man, I love college. FML

by bubblensuds1 / 10/28/2009 at 12:22am / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I microwaved a cup of soup. While walking back to my desk to eat and do homework, I noticed a message that said, "WARNING: Hold cup by sides, as lid may not be secure." At that exact moment, the lid that I was holding fell off and the soup drenched my Nintendo DS, and printer. FML

by Omi / 10/20/2009 at 1:44pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, my friend asked me if I could watch her mother's cats while they go on vacation. I agreed since her house is on my way to work. When I talked to her mother, I found out she has 30-something cats. She reckons she lost count. FML

by Anonymous / 10/12/2009 at 4:22am / United States (Indiana) / Animals

Today, I was on a plane with my grandma. A cute guy sat down next to her. She asked his age. He told her he was 16. She said, "Oh, that's how old my granddaughter here is." She then turned to me and said loudly, "You should switch seats with me, he's HOT!" Well, at least Grandma loves me. FML

by Anonymous / 10/05/2009 at 4:10pm / United States (Indiana) / Transportation

Today, I got a red light camera ticket for $100 in the mail. After checking the date and time, I realized it was from when I was rear ended into the intersection while STOPPED at a red light. FML

by corfan01 / 10/05/2009 at 7:11am / United States (Indiana) / Transportation

Today, I was at a stop light and a bee landed on my leg. I screamed and started swatting it. It flew into my jacket and I started to strip my jacket off, taking my foot off the brake. I hit the car in front of me and deployed the air bag, breaking my nose. Then the bee stung me in the back. FML

by Anstice / 10/04/2009 at 11:07pm / United States (Indiana) / Transportation

Today, I drove my husband's car to the mall because my car was in the shop. The bumper was being repaired because I got rear ended while stopped at a traffic light. While stopped at the same intersection I got rear ended again. FML

by Anonymous / 09/28/2009 at 11:00pm / United States (Indiana) / Transportation

Today, my little sister asked what masturbation was. We were having a family dinner with my grandparents. My mother then said, "Why don't you ask your brother? He is a pro." FML

by namhtor / 09/28/2009 at 3:20pm / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy

Today, I took the family to the Rainforest Café. There was no parking and I detest paying $12 for valet parking. I parked at Wal-Greens across the street in the only spot without a "patrons only, violators will be towed" sign. It was covered by the tree branches. It cost me $225 for the cab and fine. FML

by fme / 09/24/2009 at 1:24am / United States (Indiana) / Transportation