FMLs submitted from Indiana

Today, after 30 minutes of pre-heating the oven to make a special meatloaf for my husband's birthday, I remembered that I had hidden the cake in there. FML

by Anonymous / 11/03/2010 at 1:14pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I reached into my pocket and found my mom's car keys. I'm a four hour drive away, and she obviously can't come to pick them up. FML

by DriveMeNot / 10/26/2010 at 8:02pm / United States (Indiana) / Transportation

Today, I found out that my parents like rough sex. I found the whip and handcuffs. FML

by mster233 / 10/08/2010 at 11:29pm / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy

Today, I got a weird feeling about the account balance in my savings account. Turns out my fiancé has been using my account to order random items whenever he likes. This account is my savings for college tuition and related expenses. FML

by udnrizh / 10/07/2010 at 10:58pm / United States (Indiana) / Money

Today, I was watching TV with my grandpa, and he stopped flipping channels on a movie with a hot naked chick getting oiled down. Suddenly the remote landed on my stomach as my mom and grandma walked in. They yelled at me for being a pervert for an hour, while my grandpa sat and chuckled. FML

by Andrew / 09/24/2010 at 6:22am / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, a drunk driver crashed in through my living room wall. Not only that, but he managed to completely miss the first two houses on the block, which should have been a barrier before mine. FML

by Uriyahu / 09/20/2010 at 6:11pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found a big spider on my wall. I have arachnophobia, and I was trying to kill it with my shoe. I pulled back and hit myself in the face, causing me to fall backwards. The spider is still alive somewhere in my house. FML

by jillydark6609 / 09/19/2010 at 2:21am / United States (Indiana) / Animals

Today, at work, a little girl was misbehaving. Her dad told her that she would look like me when she grows up. The little girl look horrified while Daddy laughed and kept reassuring her he was "just kidding." FML

by Black Cat 13 / 09/04/2010 at 2:52am / United States (Indiana) / Work

Today, I saw one of those candies that you spray on your tongue. Only after spraying some in my mouth did I find it was actually perfume. FML

by samboob / 09/01/2010 at 5:01pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend started talking to my breasts in public. As if that wasn't bad enough, he then started to jiggle them in his hands. FML

by KBL3 / 08/11/2010 at 5:16am / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy

Today, my cat died. But, before he could bite the dust, he left a goodbye present on my bed: a decapitated baby rabbit. FML

by Lifes_a_bust / 08/08/2010 at 12:22pm / United States (Indiana) / Animals

Today, my girlfriend and I went on vacation. We flew 2000 miles, got off the plane, got our bags and stood outside the airport for our ride. She looks at me and says, "I can't do this anymore." So, she broke up with me and flew back home. Now I'm on vacation alone. FML

by Anonymous / 07/30/2010 at 2:38am / United States (Indiana) / Love

Today, I got a parking ticket while standing beside my car. FML

by Andre / 07/29/2010 at 6:56am / United States (Indiana) / Transportation