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FMLs submitted from Indiana

Today, I was walking out of a bar when someone grabbed me by the throat, and slammed me against a wall, saying "Stop fooling around with my wife, because next time - I'll kill you." I'm gay and haven't been with a woman since 1985. FML

#4810431
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60217) - you deserved it (6350)

On 08/25/2009 at 1:09pm - love - by Jeff (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my wife decided she didn't want to lose weight with me. We were trying to decide on a reward for each pound lost. I suggested sex as the reward. She felt it wasn't fair to punish her just because I lost weight. FML

#4524259
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47423) - you deserved it (7173)

On 08/14/2009 at 11:53am - intimacy - by seeminglyunsexy (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I just got done watching my cousin's two kids for four days while they were on vacation. I fed, clothed, and bathed them for four days of hell and got paid with a $5 shark tooth necklace from the Bahamas. FML

#4520071
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45820) - you deserved it (4768)

On 08/14/2009 at 3:34am - kids - by thebabysitter (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I took my puppy outside to play. At one point, she stopped chewing on her toy and ran over to give me a big kiss all over my face and mouth. A few minutes later I realized that her chew toy was actually the dried up carcass of a toad. FML

#4290103
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35811) - you deserved it (7144)

On 08/04/2009 at 7:25pm - health - by toadface (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was following my girlfriend up the stairs, I was pretty sure I was going to get lucky. As I was almost up the set of stairs, she lifted her skirt and revealed to me that she wasn't wearing any panties. I fell backwards down the stairs. FML

#4275637
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43544) - you deserved it (18889)

On 08/04/2009 at 3:55am - love - by Ouchithurt (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my boyfriend of a year told me he is at the point in his life where he is ready to start a family, get married and have a baby. He also casually stated that he wished he could meet someone he could see himself settling down with. FML

#4131905
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45057) - you deserved it (3709)

On 07/29/2009 at 11:18am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I thought I would surprise my dad by mowing our entire 2 acre lawn. When he got home, instead of being grateful like I had hoped, he yelled at me for cutting in vertical lines instead of horizontal. FML

#4079687
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50311) - you deserved it (3655)

On 07/27/2009 at 1:25pm - misc - by overthehorizon (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my roommate came home and began changing clothes in the same room that my boyfriend and I were in. I quickly got annoyed and angry and when I began questioning her about it she just laughed while saying, "Oh relax, it's not like he's never seen me naked before." FML

#4000083
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58786) - you deserved it (4192)

On 07/24/2009 at 5:04am - love - by Sally (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, after I cleaned out the fridge of things that expired months ago, my roommate got angry and insisted upon pulling all the moldy dairy products out of the garbage and putting them back because "they weren't mine and I shouldn't throw out other people's food." FML

#3959281
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39717) - you deserved it (4046)

On 07/22/2009 at 7:03pm - misc - by uncleaning (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my boyfriend wanted to take me to a movie after days of not seeing me. This long awaited date involved me paying for food and my movie ticket when he ran out of cash again. He then dumped me as we left the theater walking to his car. Well, I financed my own breakup date. FML

#3667627
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43770) - you deserved it (4345)

On 07/11/2009 at 2:11pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I went on a blind date a girl from work had set me up with. Apparently my co-worker thinks I'm gay. FML

#3292838
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45036) - you deserved it (4018)

On 06/28/2009 at 12:51am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, we had our divorce hearing and now it is final. As we were leaving the courthouse, I told my ex-wife how happy I was that we were finally free from each other. Then my junky old van wouldn't start and I had to beg her for a ride home. FML

#2929763
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13454) - you deserved it (62983)

On 06/16/2009 at 12:35am - love - by Aerostar (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my car was in the shop so I borrowed my wife's VW Beetle convertible. It's really embarrassing because it's a girlie car and it's full of little stuffed animals. At a stop light a man asked me if I'd like to borrow one of his testicles because "every man should have at least one." FML

#2812014
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (94574) - you deserved it (19977)

On 06/11/2009 at 8:23pm - misc - by NoBalls (man) - United States (Indiana)



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