Today, my grandma gave me a gift (something she has never done before). I was so excited until I found out it was one of her overdue library books on dolphins. I feel so loved. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37432) - you deserved it (1924)
On 05/04/2009 at 8:35am - misc - by hawtpinkpanties (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I was leaving a campus parking garage. Suddenly, a huge man appeared behind me and kept saying "HEY!" "STOP!" In a gruff voice. I picked up my pace and so did he. I finally turned to him with a can of mace and threatened to use it. He was trying to return the $5 bill I dropped. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9937) - you deserved it (43615)
On 05/04/2009 at 1:08am - misc - by CriminalMistake (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I called my mom for the first time in a few weeks, just to chat because I miss her. When she picked up, the first thing she said was, "Why are you calling? What's wrong? Do you have swine flu??" When I told her that I didn't, and I just wanted to chat, she hung up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47488) - you deserved it (2932)
On 05/01/2009 at 12:23am - misc - by thanksmom (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I was on my way home when I saw a cop hiding behind a Budget truck. I immediately slowed down and prayed that he wouldn't give me a ticket. Then I realized I was walking. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21167) - you deserved it (70272)
On 04/30/2009 at 1:41pm - misc - by kas (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I was hanging out with my boyfriend when we started messing around. Things were getting really hot when he gets a call from his best friend whose grandfather had just died. As they were talking and I heard her crying, he unzips his pants and mouths, "She won't know." FML
I agree, your life sucks (57564) - you deserved it (5356)
On 04/27/2009 at 8:43pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)
Today, we were having a family get together at my house. Because of this, i had to mow our lawn to make sure it looked nice. I got a little bored and decided it would be funny to cut a rather large penis into my yard. right when i finished, i ran out of gas. My 83 year old grandmother saw. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8679) - you deserved it (59237)
On 04/26/2009 at 4:12am - misc - by waltzy777 - United States (Indiana)
Today, my best friend and I performed a rap to our whole school. The rap was "made up" by our friend. After the performance, a lot of friends asked me why I did a rap from Hannah Montana. Apparently the rap was off of a show for 8 year olds. We are 17 and people think we watch Hannah Montana. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11857) - you deserved it (39155)
On 04/25/2009 at 10:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I woke up with really dry, chapped lips. Still in bed, without my glasses on, I sleepily reached down into my purse for some chapstick and applied it. Upon awakening later I realized I had mistaken a mini Sharpie permanent marker for chapstick. I have a job interview today. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38293) - you deserved it (20711)
On 04/18/2009 at 9:55pm - misc - by pinkblankets (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, my friend was pulled over and told to get out of the car. The officer motioned for me to get out of the car too so I reached behind me to get my shoes. He then pointed his gun at my face and frantically asked my friend if I had a gun. My friend calmly replied "No, but shoot him anyway." FML
I agree, your life sucks (59723) - you deserved it (7497)
On 04/17/2009 at 1:02pm - misc - by Daniel_rules (man) - United States (Indiana)
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. She gave me back the brand new box of 12 condoms that I had bought and left at her house. There were 8 left and I wasn't the one who opened them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (80135) - you deserved it (4584)
On 04/05/2009 at 1:04am - intimacy - by knicksfan (man) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I filled out a political survey for a psychology experiment. A really cute girl was doing it, too. We hit it off and flirted through the surveys, and I asked her out when it was done. Then I found out it was really an attraction experiment and she was in on it. She was acting. FML
I agree, your life sucks (64628) - you deserved it (734)
On 04/03/2009 at 2:40pm - love - by Troy (man) - United States (Indiana)
Today, my best friend who I have been secretly in love with forever, was ranting about her ex-girlfriend. Then she said : "If only you were gay, we'd be perfect for each other." So I took the chance to tell her I was. She responded : "Well I am still not attracted to you though." FML
I agree, your life sucks (61745) - you deserved it (6370)
On 03/04/2009 at 4:03pm - love - by alone_forever (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I was driving at night and saw a small animal run across the road. I slammed on my brakes and got rear-ended. The animal turned out to be a plastic grocery bag. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41457) - you deserved it (11394)
On 03/02/2009 at 7:09pm - misc - by himtopia19 (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Friday 24 May 2013
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