Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from Indiana

Today, a dog bit me, tearing a hole through my sweatpants, my shorts, and my underwear, all to get at the dog treat I'd hidden in my pocket. FML

#21369995
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26941) - you deserved it (8740)

On 03/07/2015 at 3:14pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, I boarded a plane. A woman decided that she didn't like where she put her carry on luggage and pulled it out from over my head. The heavy luggage then fell right into my face, the wheel smacking me in the mouth busting my lip open. She just laughed and waltzed away without a word. FML

#21352523
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37967) - you deserved it (2313)

On 02/09/2015 at 1:23am - health - by wellalrightythen - United States (Indiana)

Today, I showed my son the old trick of turning a calculator upside down and spelling "BOOBIES" on it in numbers. He laughed, then spent nearly 20 minutes trying to spell "COCKS", before giving up and hurling the calculator across the room. I wish my sperm had a warranty. FML

#21346989
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24269) - you deserved it (6184)

On 01/30/2015 at 7:51pm - kids - by 3722145 (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was faced with the inevitable horrible circumstances which lead me to put in a tampon on a moving city bus. FML

#21337228
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30578) - you deserved it (4557)

On 01/14/2015 at 9:18pm - misc - by bloody_hell (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, after getting into bed, I found a used condom under my covers. I asked my roommate about it. She freely admitted that since my bed was comfier than hers, she had sex with her boyfriend on it. FML

#21333313
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39831) - you deserved it (2989)

On 01/08/2015 at 2:10pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was complimented on my freckles. I don't actually have freckles, just a load of blackheads that won't go away. FML

#21322767
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28023) - you deserved it (3185)

On 12/23/2014 at 3:41pm - health - by eamiller (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my boyfriend told me that my mom paid him to date me. FML

#21322112
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36475) - you deserved it (2711)

On 12/22/2014 at 2:11pm - love - by koolkat9 - United States (Indiana)

Today, someone backed straight into my car as I was hunting for a parking spot. I just got my car back from the body shop after a hit-and-run. FML

#21318499
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31101) - you deserved it (2361)

On 12/16/2014 at 11:35am - misc - by shit_fer_luck (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my girlfriend of two years broke up with me because of the scratch marks on my back. I didn't have the nerve to tell her I tried to shower with the cat. FML

#21300928
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19145) - you deserved it (30781)

On 11/17/2014 at 7:56pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my father told me to "go get a job". He has been unemployed for 3 years. FML

#21300409
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27956) - you deserved it (2767)

On 11/16/2014 at 10:52pm - work - by username - United States (Indiana)

Today, I got sick at school. When someone called my mom for permission for me to leave, she told them she doesn't have a daughter and to never call that number again. FML

Today, I hit a new low point in my life when I stole batteries from a toy at the daycare I work at, and put them in my vibrator. FML

#21286701
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26432) - you deserved it (34638)

On 10/27/2014 at 11:40pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, my mother locked me out of the house. Why? The dog and her needed some time to talk. FML

#21285216
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31596) - you deserved it (2384)

On 10/25/2014 at 8:51pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)



FML's blog

  • Angie's illustrated FML
  • Here we go again. This week I'm talking to you live from the Paris Japan Expo. I'm dressed up as Bernard from the Sailor Moon series, and I almost got kicked out because my katana wasn't the…

Friday 3 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: