Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from Indiana

Today, I came home to a half-shaved dog and a laughing third grader. FML

#21267339
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21265) - you deserved it (2268)

On 09/28/2014 at 11:00pm - kids - by Anonymoose - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was eating a bowl of cereal and noticed something float to the top. On closer inspection, it turned out to be a mouse turd. I had already eaten half the bowl. FML

#21253597
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36196) - you deserved it (3812)

On 09/07/2014 at 9:45am - misc - by goodmorning - United States (Indiana)

Today, I asked out the girl I really like. She turned me down, saying that she's a lesbian. That'd be fine, if I were a guy. FML

#21252521
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40811) - you deserved it (3671)

On 09/05/2014 at 5:11pm - love - by apparentlybutch (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I found out that the reason my boyfriend hasn't texted me recently is that he'd forgotten he was dating anyone. FML

#21244761
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41422) - you deserved it (4682)

On 08/24/2014 at 11:27pm - love - by angry girlfriend - United States (Indiana)

Today, I finally told my dad that I hate his girlfriend. I said her daughter's a complete whore, and her son is annoying as fuck. Turns out they were in the house and within earshot, ready to throw me a birthday party. FML

#21243310
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23624) - you deserved it (43724)

On 08/22/2014 at 6:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, after months of dinners, coffees, drinks, and a few nights together, the girl of my dreams told me about this awesome guy she met yesterday. FML

#21235196
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42760) - you deserved it (3974)

On 08/11/2014 at 8:34pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, I paid $325 to have the vet tell me that my 19-year-old cat ISN'T dying, she just had anxiety shits because we were gone on vacation for so long. FML

#21231104
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34319) - you deserved it (5563)

On 08/06/2014 at 5:35pm - animals - by chynna (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my girlfriend's dad returned home from deployment. Being the grade A fucktard that I am, I got flustered and asked, "So um, did you make it back?" He looked me dead in the eyes and said completely deadpan, "No, obviously I died. Moron." FML

#21226906
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33848) - you deserved it (22514)

On 08/01/2014 at 4:45pm - misc - by whoops (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I accidentally twisted my balls in my own underwear so badly that I had to be hospitalized. FML

#21207158
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42374) - you deserved it (7004)

On 07/12/2014 at 4:19pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. After breaking the news to my parents, I heard my dad mutter when I left, "Damn it, I liked her better than him." My mother didn't protest. FML

#21196912
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50846) - you deserved it (11849)

On 07/03/2014 at 12:53am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I went to CVS to buy some tampons. The cashier said, "Ewwww... You're on your period." FML

Today, a bird got into the walls of my house through a hole. I located where it was by following the chirping and scratching sounds, and drilled a hole to get it out. I pulled out the drill, only to find the drill bit bloody. Suddenly, no more chirps. FML

#21131587
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48631) - you deserved it (16268)

On 05/05/2014 at 5:03pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, a drunken guest in the hotel I work at has barricaded himself in the employee restroom and refuses to come out, unless I "promise to love him forever." It's 4am and I'm the only one here. FML



FML's blog

  • Gragrou's illustrated FML
  • One day, cats will rule the world, but not today, there's a bit of tin foil stuck under the couch. The Internet and cats is quite the love story, everybody knows that. A very serious study that was done…

Friday 26 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: