Today, the city shut off the water at my house because my roommate thought that the water bills he had been hoarding were "suggestions." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17306) - you totally deserved it (1478)
On 11/02/2009 at 12:30pm - money - by parched (man) - United States (Indiana)
Today, someone left a used condom under the windshield wiper of my car. I didn't notice it until I was driving. And it was raining. It was even tied, so the contents couldn't leak out. I'm not planning artificial insemination anytime soon, but thanks for the thought. Man, I love college. FML
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On 10/28/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by bubblensuds1 - United States (Indiana)
Today, I microwaved a cup of soup. While walking back to my desk to eat and do homework, I noticed a message that said, "WARNING: Hold cup by sides, as lid may not be secure." At that exact moment, the lid that I was holding fell off and the soup drenched my Nintendo DS, and printer. FML
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On 10/20/2009 at 1:44pm - misc - by Omi (man) - United States (Indiana)
Today, my friend asked me if I could watch her mother's cats while they go on vacation. I agreed since her house is on my way to work. When I talked to her mother, I found out she has 30-something cats. She reckons she lost count. FML
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On 10/12/2009 at 4:22am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I was on a plane with my grandma. A cute guy sat down next to her. She asked his age. He told her he was 16. She said, "Oh, that's how old my granddaughter here is." She then turned to me and said loudly, "You should switch seats with me, he's HOT!" Well, at least Grandma loves me. FML
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On 10/05/2009 at 4:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I got a red light camera ticket for $100 in the mail. After checking the date and time, I realized it was from when I was rear ended into the intersection while STOPPED at a red light. FML
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On 10/05/2009 at 7:11am - misc - by corfan01 (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I was at a stop light and a bee landed on my leg. I screamed and started swatting it. It flew into my jacket and I started to strip my jacket off, taking my foot off the brake. I hit the car in front of me and deployed the air bag, breaking my nose. Then the bee stung me in the back. FML
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On 10/04/2009 at 11:07pm - misc - by Anstice (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I went to my friend Alex's house. I didn't know exactly where he lived, but I thought I was okay when I asked if Alex was there and they said yes. It was the wrong house and the wrong Alex. FML
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On 09/29/2009 at 9:42pm - misc - by lalaland (man) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I drove my husband's car to the mall because my car was in the shop. The bumper was being repaired because I got rear ended while stopped at a traffic light. While stopped at the same intersection I got rear ended again. FML
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On 09/28/2009 at 11:00pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, my little sister asked what masterbation was. We where having a family dinner with my grandparents. My mother then said, "Why don't you ask your brother? He is a pro." FML
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On 09/28/2009 at 3:20pm - intimacy - by namhtor (man) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I went to get my oil changed and my car died as I was pulling into Midas. The mechanic said I had no oil and it killed my engine. He poured in some oil and it went everywhere. My oil filter had fallen off thanks to the last oil place using the wrong filter. A new engine costs $6,000. FML
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On 09/26/2009 at 4:48pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I took the family to the Rainforest Cafe. There was no parking and I detest paying $12 for valet parking. I parked at Wal-Greens across the street in the "only" spot without a "PATRONS ONLY, VIOLATORS WILL BE TOWED" sign. It was covered by the tree branches. It cost me $225 for the cab and fine. FML
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On 09/24/2009 at 1:24am - money - by fme (man) - United States (Indiana)
Today, my professor informed me that if I didn't "show more commitment" to my choral ensemble he would give my spot to a "more interested young woman." I missed class to see my neurologist. Apparently my seizures are a symptom of lack of commitment. FML
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On 09/17/2009 at 1:32pm - health - by OutOfLuck (woman) - United States (Indiana)
