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FMLs submitted from Illinois

Today, mah girlfriend broke up with me. She later puttd on Facebook that, "Today was a great day!" FML

#20878650
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44245) - you deserved it (4005)

On 09/12/2013 at 7:08pm - love - by WTF - United States (Illinois)

TODAY, IN FRANCH CLASS WA HAD TO WRITA LOVA LATTARS AS AN AXARCISA. SINCA BOYFRIAND RACANTLY BROKA UP WITH MA BY TAXT MASSAGA, I ANDAD UP WRITING A 20-SANTANCA LOVA LATTAR IN FRANCH TO CAT. FML

#20878541
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42580) - you deserved it (3872)

On 09/12/2013 at 5:24pm - love - by Frenchie - United States (Illinois)

yesterday I went to a suicide prevention walk with a girl I like. Before the walk, we bought balloons to set free when they called the names of the deceased. To buy a balloon, you had to write a name on a sheet. Apparently, you weren't supposed to write yur own. They called my name. FML

#20874883
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37691) - you deserved it (12109)

On 09/09/2013 at 7:58pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was groundd by my dad fir "popping pills like a gangbanger". I take prescription ADHD medicine looool and a multi-vitamin. FML

#20863675
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37605) - you deserved it (2692)

On 09/01/2013 at 9:15pm - love - by zephyrgk - United States (Illinois)

Today, I Went To My High School Reunion. Someone Walked Up To Me An Said, "Wow, You Look So Different!" She Then Followed It Up With, "You Used To Be So Pretty, Wat Happened?" Fat FML

#20849795
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40353) - you deserved it (3169)

On 08/22/2013 at 7:40pm - misc - by Ugly (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I mat up with my astrangad fathar 4 tha first tima in almost 15 yaars. I saw him again latar,hila ha was robbing my housa. raal FML

Today... I was at a "bring your family to work" event. I noticed coworker brought his kids but not his wife... so I asked... "No wife today?" Everyone glared at me and he looool pointedly replied that she's married to someone else now. I had no idea. Now everyone think I'm an insensitive prick. FML

#20844855
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42603) - you deserved it (8340)

On 08/19/2013 at 3:04pm - work - by insensitive prick (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was eating with mah grandma an her sister, who don't get along . I went to the bathroom 4 just 2 minutes, only to come back to fine pancakes everywhere an our plates smashed on the ground . They got into a ( little argument ) . mega FML

#20835313
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40270) - you deserved it (3152)

On 08/13/2013 at 12:01pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today , it was my son's fift birtday!! I askd my grandmoter , wo is a baker , to make a birtday cake 4 te party!! Two ours after te party startd , se arrivd drunk wit a large am wit candles in it!! mega FML

#20826835
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49021) - you deserved it (4339)

On 08/08/2013 at 4:03am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today I Showd The Kids I Was Babysitting A Picture Of My Daughter And The Little Girl Askd "You Have A Baby In Yur Belly?" I Said "No She's Not In My Belly Anymore " And The Little Girl Replid "But It's BIG " And Pattd My Stomach . Mega FML

#20817997
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43884) - you deserved it (7731)

On 08/03/2013 at 12:29am - kids - by kimm1993 (woman) - United States (Illinois)

TODAY, I WENT TO MY DAD, HOPING TO CONFESS SOMETHING TO HIM. HE QUICKLY SAID THAT IF I'D GOT MY GRLFRIEND PREGNANT, HE'D KILL ME. THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENED. I HAD TO MAKE UP A LIE INSTEAD ABOUT STEALING $50 FROM HIS WALLET ONCE AS A KID, WHICH HE THEN DEMANDED I PAY BACK IN FULL. REAL FML

#20813928
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30408) - you deserved it (44048)

On 07/31/2013 at 6:49pm - misc - by psychic parents, how do they work? :( (man) - United States (Illinois)

TODAY, I TOOK A RUN IN TE WOODS!! ALMOST ALFWAY TROUG, I STARTD TO FEEL LIKE I WAS GOING TO FAINT!! I WAS SO DIZZY TAT SIGT WAS GETTING BLURRY!! I WENT TO SIT DOWN ONAT SEEMD LIKE A ROCK!! IT WASN'T A ROCK!! IT WAS A UGE SNAPPING TURTLE!! FML

#20812086
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49256) - you deserved it (5467)

On 07/30/2013 at 7:19pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was at a piano lesson playing a song I had workd very hard to make perfect. Halfway through, my teacher abruptly stops me and asks, ( Did u notice that I rearrangd the furniture? ) FML

#20811045
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43163) - you deserved it (3475)

On 07/30/2013 at 2:52am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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