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FMLs submitted from Illinois

Today, is my brothers 16th birthday. He got keys to the Lexus. I'm 18, have no car, and got pajama pants and chapstick for my birthday. FML

#54782
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66505) - you deserved it (3541)

On 02/16/2009 at 5:42pm - misc - by Elmo - United States (Illinois)

Today, I took a friend out for what I thought was date. After dinner was over and I paid, she pulled the bill out and wrote her name phone number on it for the waiter. FML

#51117
15 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47181) - you deserved it (3147)

On 02/16/2009 at 1:41am - misc - by Noname (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I ran over a beer bottle which popped my car tire, which then caused me to swerve into a police cruiser. FML

#46008
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55100) - you deserved it (3774)

On 02/15/2009 at 8:28am - misc - by andjusticeforall (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was talking to my parents about feeling insecure with my "beach body" as Spring Break keeps getting closer and closer. My dad warned me by saying, "Don't wear a gray swimsuit. People will try to roll you back into the ocean". FML

#38789
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48084) - you deserved it (7820)

On 02/13/2009 at 7:15pm - misc - by Shamu (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was sitting at home, venting to my parents about how I never get asked out by any of the guys at school. My Dad's words of wisdom were, "Don't worry, looks don't matter so much in college. Once they've had a few beers in them, they'll date anything." FML

#30954
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43904) - you deserved it (3982)

On 02/12/2009 at 12:15pm - misc - by cdaniel2 (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I lit a cigarette in the opposite direction of the wind. My hair blew into it, and caught on fire. FML

#30360
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12017) - you deserved it (53663)

On 02/12/2009 at 8:28am - misc - by a genius (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, at work, a man walked up the escalator with his chubby kid next to him and asked me where the shoe section was. I said, "For you or your son?" He said, "For my daughter." FML

#29521
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12252) - you deserved it (31079)

On 02/12/2009 at 1:13am - misc - by Mal2222 (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, as I sat on the table in my gynecologist's office for my yearly checkup, I realized that was the most action I got in the past year. FML

#25767
15 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38491) - you deserved it (7473)

On 02/11/2009 at 3:04pm - misc - by dynomyte (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, a flight attendant asked me if I was airsick because I looked really pale. I told her that was my normal complexion but thanked her for her concern. She insisted "No, that can't be normal." FML

#23429
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35818) - you deserved it (2391)

On 02/11/2009 at 12:16am - misc - by Casper (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got this huge package at my college dorm from my parents with candy, chips, canned soup and all these goodies. When I called my mom to thank her, she replied "We got rid of your cat, Annie". FML

#22256
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35664) - you deserved it (2068)

On 02/10/2009 at 8:44pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my sister teased me about being a mistake baby. When I told my mom what my sister said, her response was "I still love you anyway". FML

#21737
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34617) - you deserved it (3175)

On 02/10/2009 at 6:41pm - misc - by melissa (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was on the internet with my Dad looking up information about allergies. I began to type 'allergies' into the Google Search Box and as I typed 'a', the phrase 'amazing sex positions' popped up as a search I had already looked up. My Dad asked me if any of the positions worked out. FML

#21100
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12814) - you deserved it (43409)

On 02/10/2009 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my tennis coach showed up to practice in an all white outfit. I exclaimed, "You're looking very white today!" He's African American. FML

#19641
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9187) - you deserved it (38818)

On 02/10/2009 at 12:59am - misc - by Tennisplayer (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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