Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from Illinois

Today, I took my girlfriend out to a restaurant for her birthday. She had to go to the toilet while there, and when she came back, she was crying. When I asked why, she said "I'm on my period!" and sobbed loudly in front of everyone that we couldn't have birthday sex. FML

#21016986
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58496) - you deserved it (6231)

On 01/04/2014 at 8:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was watching TV with my husband, and he started getting frisky. When the commercial break started, we started having sex. When he came, there were still two commercials left before the show resumed. FML

#21011750
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51911) - you deserved it (6031)

On 12/31/2013 at 4:19pm - intimacy - by erjazo (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was mopping the floor at the hotel I work at. Before I could react, a gentleman stormed through the corridor and slipped and fell on the still wet floor. He complained to the owner, who bitched me out just to satisfy the guy. FML

#21009463
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33287) - you deserved it (3508)

On 12/29/2013 at 4:04pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out I was passed over for the promotion I've wanted for 9 months at the fast food restaurant I work in. Who got the job? The 16 year old girl I trained 2 weeks ago. Their excuse was, "She has ambition." I'm going to college for food service management. She failed her drug test. FML

#21001701
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50372) - you deserved it (3817)

On 12/22/2013 at 7:58pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I would like to thank the program designer that put "Set as home page" directly under "Remove from history". FML

#20991949
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37889) - you deserved it (10068)

On 12/14/2013 at 1:38am - misc - by The_Rest_of_the_Story (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was gushing about my love for Disney princesses when someone told me I "definitely needed to calm down." By whom? A four-year-old girl. FML

Today, I saw a psychiatrist for the first time. After telling her everything I'm going through, she looked at me and said "You know... every five years or so I get a case completely beyond my ability to help." I guess it's been five years. FML

#20963305
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45502) - you deserved it (2977)

On 11/19/2013 at 12:31pm - health - by elle (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was at a diner with friends when we decided to put our phones in the middle of the table on the basis that whoever looks at theirs first has to pay. It was going well, until someone rushed up behind me, slammed my face into the table and ran out with our 4 phones. FML

#20961108
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39781) - you deserved it (5212)

On 11/17/2013 at 4:59pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend of three years sent me a text message saying "It's over!". I sent him maybe a thousand texts saying "Why?", "What do you mean?!" After an hour of crying and whatnot, I realized he had driver's education today and that he was saying the class was over. FML

#20959504
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30036) - you deserved it (45084)

On 11/16/2013 at 5:06am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while I was in a bathroom stall, the guy next to me asked me for toilet paper. It was then that I realized I didn't have any either. FML

#20957459
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41168) - you deserved it (4433)

On 11/14/2013 at 11:44am - misc - by CallmeEddie - United States (Illinois)

Today, one of the special needs teens I work with confessed his love for me. It was cute until he put his erection on my leg and attempted to hump me. FML

Today, I got into a fight with my brother that somehow ended with him breaking my toe with a Fisher-Price airplane. FML

#20955006
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35639) - you deserved it (5071)

On 11/12/2013 at 10:27am - kids - by CurseYouSonyaLee (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, after making several comments about how I didn't exactly look thin, my boyfriend said, "Well, at least we know you'll look good pregnant." FML

#20954137
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41275) - you deserved it (9398)

On 11/11/2013 at 4:41pm - love - by Cheer4Life (woman) - United States (Illinois)



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: