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FMLs submitted from Illinois

Today, my fiancé's best friend, who will be our best man at our wedding, decided to confess his feelings for me and tell me how he's always dreamed of us eloping together. The wedding is going to be awkward. FML

#20921675
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45416) - you deserved it (2895)

On 10/15/2013 at 4:16pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got my daughter's school pictures. Instead of smiling, she did the duck face. She's 6. FML

#20912722
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45909) - you deserved it (7518)

On 10/08/2013 at 5:16pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, my parents favoritism towards my brother really shone through when we moved house and he got the nicest and by far biggest room. I wouldn't mind, but my brother is in college overseas and never comes home. FML

#20905397
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43007) - you deserved it (2317)

On 10/02/2013 at 11:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, my body-building addiction hit a whole new level when I begged my friend to sell me her breast milk. FML

Today, I sent my boyfriend a text asking him to come over a little later and have some "fun" with me. He texted back, "WTF babe? Breaking Bad's on tonight. You got a dildo, fucking use it." FML

#20900698
292 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61201) - you deserved it (25704)

On 09/29/2013 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by -___- (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I caught my roommate trying to use my flashlight as a dildo. FML

#20889160
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47684) - you deserved it (3904)

On 09/20/2013 at 5:04pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I forgot my blind date's name 3 times during our conversation. FML

#20885867
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18108) - you deserved it (36473)

On 09/17/2013 at 10:17pm - love - by lola1313 - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was complimented by a stranger, who said I looked great in my outfit. I thanked her, and she immediately gave me a fist-bump. I stared curiously, and she explained: she was arguing with her friends about whether I'm a man or a woman. The pitch of my voice was the answer. FML

#20881965
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43289) - you deserved it (3991)

On 09/15/2013 at 3:53am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. She later put on Facebook that, "Today was a great day!" FML

#20878650
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44053) - you deserved it (3995)

On 09/12/2013 at 7:08pm - love - by WTF - United States (Illinois)

Today, in French class we had to write love letters as an exercise. Since my boyfriend recently broke up with me by text message, I ended up writing a 20-sentence love letter in French to my cat. FML

#20878541
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42399) - you deserved it (3855)

On 09/12/2013 at 5:24pm - love - by Frenchie - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went to a suicide prevention walk with a girl I like. Before the walk, we bought balloons to set free when they called the names of the deceased. To buy a balloon, you had to write a name on a sheet. Apparently, you weren't supposed to write your own. They called my name. FML

#20874883
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37530) - you deserved it (12045)

On 09/09/2013 at 7:58pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was grounded by my dad for "popping pills like a gangbanger". I take prescription ADHD medicine and a multi-vitamin. FML

#20863675
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37404) - you deserved it (2680)

On 09/01/2013 at 9:15pm - love - by zephyrgk - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went to my high school reunion. Someone walked up to me and said, "Wow, you look so different!" She then followed it up with, "You used to be so pretty, what happened?" FML

#20849795
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38999) - you deserved it (3060)

On 08/22/2013 at 7:40pm - misc - by Ugly (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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