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FMLs submitted from Illinois

Today, I asked a very cute fireman for his number "just in case I needed him to come to my rescue"... He told me "Yeah sure!" and scribbled it down. After he walked away I read his note: "911". FML

#125152
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16962) - you deserved it (44257)

On 02/24/2009 at 5:57pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I rolled over a curb and bent one of the signs that read "Please Park Here After Your Road Test," at the DMV, because my foot slipped off the brake just before I put the car in park, which would've ended my Test. The first words out of the examiner's mouth were, "Well you would've passed." FML

#121657
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19225) - you deserved it (27400)

On 02/24/2009 at 6:02am - misc - by ouagadougou (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, one of my closest friends and I got into a fight. She ends the conversation with "My grandma just had a stroke. Bye." I didn't believe her so I replied "Thats great. Bye." Turns out her Grandma is in the hospital in critical condition. FML

#120027
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8040) - you deserved it (51285)

On 02/24/2009 at 12:05am - misc - by Noname (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was interviewing a cute guy for my journalism class, and he asked to borrow my laptop to check his email quickly. After the interview, I realized that the last thing I had searched for on my browser's Google box was "ingrown pubic hairs," and it was still up there. FML

#115661
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17204) - you deserved it (31969)

On 02/23/2009 at 5:50pm - misc - by loserface (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I drove to a party after getting my car back from the shop. A thunderstorm started as I made my way there and upon arriving, the power went out. The guests decided to watch the storm from the front windows when someone mentioned how funny it would be if a tree fell on my car. Seconds later, one did. FML

#111850
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60959) - you deserved it (3003)

On 02/23/2009 at 3:08am - misc - by Jessie (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I saw my mom sneaking meat into her spaghetti sauce. She told me she sneaks meat into most of the food she cooks. I've been a vegetarian for 8 years. FML

#108416
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46905) - you deserved it (15323)

On 02/22/2009 at 9:35pm - misc - by j0hn (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while walking through the fragrance area in a shopping center a women behind me asked; "Excuse me miss, would you like to sample our new fragrance line." I'm a 19 year old male. I turned around expecting her to correct herself. She didn't. FML

#102493
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36335) - you deserved it (6048)

On 02/22/2009 at 4:45am - misc - by highlycontagious - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had a job interview at a restauraunt opening up. One manager hypothetically asked me why I should be hired. I said I was more efficient than most. I left to find I'd locked my keys in the car. It took all the managers to help me get my keys out. FML

#100454
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10312) - you deserved it (29015)

On 02/21/2009 at 11:22pm - misc - by FailAtLife - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went to the doctor with my parents. When the doctor asked if I was sexually active, I said 'Yes.' My mom laughed and said 'Good one.' My dad, for added effect said, 'Your hand doesn't count.' FML

#99885
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62528) - you deserved it (6427)

On 02/21/2009 at 10:16pm - intimacy - by Nails (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got my fake ID and went out with the boys to dinner and the bars. One of my friends asked to see my ID. He noticed my birthday didn't make me over 21. I paid $170 for a fake ID with my real birthday. FML

#98972
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11993) - you deserved it (68849)

On 02/21/2009 at 8:19pm - money - by Noname (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while working on a carpentry project with my friend at 2am, and enjoying some beers, I cut my hand and realized I needed medical attention. Neither of us being in driving shape, I knocked on my parents bedroom door to request a ride. I was told I had to wait for them to "finish." FML

Today, I was approached by a girl who called me a slut for sleeping with her boyfriend, then punched me in the face. I'm a virgin. FML

#98260
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68157) - you deserved it (2869)

On 02/21/2009 at 6:37pm - misc - by well then... (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, during a text conversation with a girl I've been trying to get with, she complained about how crummy of a day she was having. I told her it couldn't be as bad as she thought, and she would probably get it over it soon. Then she told me she had found out her cousin had been murdered. FML

#94362
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44731) - you deserved it (11351)

On 02/21/2009 at 2:30am - love - by schellbytheseashore (man) - United States (Illinois)



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