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FMLs submitted from Illinois

Today, I had a job interview at a restauraunt opening up. One manager hypothetically asked me why I should be hired. I said I was more efficient than most. I left to find I'd locked my keys in the car. It took all the managers to help me get my keys out. FML

#100454
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10273) - you deserved it (28953)

On 02/21/2009 at 11:22pm - misc - by FailAtLife - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went to the doctor with my parents. When the doctor asked if I was sexually active, I said 'Yes.' My mom laughed and said 'Good one.' My dad, for added effect said, 'Your hand doesn't count.' FML

#99885
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61947) - you deserved it (6369)

On 02/21/2009 at 10:16pm - intimacy - by Nails (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got my fake ID and went out with the boys to dinner and the bars. One of my friends asked to see my ID. He noticed my birthday didn't make me over 21. I paid $170 for a fake ID with my real birthday. FML

#98972
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11788) - you deserved it (68316)

On 02/21/2009 at 8:19pm - money - by Noname (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while working on a carpentry project with my friend at 2am, and enjoying some beers, I cut my hand and realized I needed medical attention. Neither of us being in driving shape, I knocked on my parents bedroom door to request a ride. I was told I had to wait for them to "finish." FML

Today, I was approached by a girl who called me a slut for sleeping with her boyfriend, then punched me in the face. I'm a virgin. FML

#98260
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68063) - you deserved it (2860)

On 02/21/2009 at 6:37pm - misc - by well then... (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, during a text conversation with a girl I've been trying to get with, she complained about how crummy of a day she was having. I told her it couldn't be as bad as she thought, and she would probably get it over it soon. Then she told me she had found out her cousin had been murdered. FML

#94362
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44640) - you deserved it (11338)

On 02/21/2009 at 2:30am - love - by schellbytheseashore (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was riding the train and fell asleep. A friend of mine got on a few stops later, and to be funny, shouted 'BOO!'. I woke up and was so startled I peed myself. FML

#90535
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39507) - you deserved it (6055)

On 02/20/2009 at 6:13pm - misc - by niabby - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was doing a strip tease for my husband. He asked me to stop. FML

#84789
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84394) - you deserved it (17620)

On 02/20/2009 at 12:06am - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I told my parents I really missed them and wanted to come home for the weekend, I haven't seen them in months. They told me that was a bad idea and they couldnt fit me into their schedule. I asked what their plans were. They said they didn't have any yet. FML

#74820
14 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45073) - you deserved it (2189)

On 02/19/2009 at 12:28am - misc - by sucks2suck (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, is my brothers 16th birthday. He got keys to the Lexus. I'm 18, have no car, and got pajama pants and chapstick for my birthday. FML

#54782
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66321) - you deserved it (3535)

On 02/16/2009 at 5:42pm - misc - by Elmo - United States (Illinois)

Today, I took a friend out for what I thought was date. After dinner was over and I paid, she pulled the bill out and wrote her name phone number on it for the waiter. FML

#51117
15 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46274) - you deserved it (3063)

On 02/16/2009 at 1:41am - misc - by Noname (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I ran over a beer bottle which popped my car tire, which then caused me to swerve into a police cruiser. FML

#46008
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54954) - you deserved it (3763)

On 02/15/2009 at 8:28am - misc - by andjusticeforall (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was talking to my parents about feeling insecure with my "beach body" as Spring Break keeps getting closer and closer. My dad warned me by saying, "Don't wear a gray swimsuit. People will try to roll you back into the ocean". FML

#38789
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47378) - you deserved it (7722)

On 02/13/2009 at 7:15pm - misc - by Shamu (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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