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FMLs submitted from Illinois

Today, I was stage managing a school show. Some kids were goofing off backstage, so I yelled at them that they could hurt themselves. While walking back to my chair, I tripped over my own feet and fell 5 feet off the stage. I shattered my cheekbone telling kids they would hurt themselves. FML

#994417
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47503) - you deserved it (11975)

On 04/15/2009 at 4:06pm - work - by AllThatJazz (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I took my driving test. Completing the test, we returned and parked at the testing facility. As my tester was complimenting me, I leaned down to wind my window up, catching my long hair in the window. Frantically thrashing, I put the car in drive and floored it into a concrete wall. FML

#969967
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21151) - you deserved it (54309)

On 04/14/2009 at 1:17pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was working as a manager of the local movie theater. This six year old came in with no parents or anyone else. When I asked him where his parents were he looked at me and said, "Shut up white boy, I don't have to listen to your shit." I just got told by a six year old. FML

#958764
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60875) - you deserved it (6891)

On 04/13/2009 at 8:44pm - work - by brad3720 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, the girl I have had a crush on for the last 4 months asked me on AIM how to block someone. 30 seconds after I finished explaining how to block someone on iChat, she went offline and I haven't seen her on AIM since. FML

#929724
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68349) - you deserved it (11723)

On 04/12/2009 at 3:46pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, for Easter, my brother and sister both got $200 gifts from my parents. I got a chocolate egg. I'm allergic to chocolate. FML

#924153
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (127836) - you deserved it (6472)

On 04/12/2009 at 9:53am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, My friend and I were stopped at a red light while it was pouring rain. We heard a screeching noise off in the distance and thought, "Hope someone doesn't get hit." Someone did get hit. We did. From behind. FML

#915391
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46801) - you deserved it (3043)

On 04/11/2009 at 2:38pm - misc - by RainyDay (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my Dad called me to tell me that he had finally won the lottery and that I no longer had to worry about trying to find a way to pay for school. I was so excited I started crying. He then told me that he won $5 on a scratch off lotto ticket. He bought a sandwich. Funny dad. FML

#914206
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55909) - you deserved it (8462)

On 04/11/2009 at 12:13pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went out to eat with some friends. They picked a table that wasn't big enough for all of us. I had to sit in the booth behind them. Alone. FML

#904638
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68645) - you deserved it (4244)

On 04/10/2009 at 5:39pm - misc - by yum. - United States (Illinois)

Today, my younger brother watched an old music video of The Who, who are know for smashing up their guitars and such. He decided it would be cool to try it with mine. That guitar was worth over $3000. FML

#894121
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (78476) - you deserved it (4105)

On 04/09/2009 at 10:43pm - misc - by FML4evs (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my mom had a baby shower. When it was over I walked around cleaning up the trash, when I saw a card sitting on the table with a note to my mom saying "better luck with this one." At the moment I am an only child, and the card was signed from my grandmother. FML

#889248
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69051) - you deserved it (3704)

On 04/09/2009 at 5:44pm - kids - by Tim (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my friends and I saw a movie. We sat in the balcony. Halfway during the movie we heard a commotion, thinking it was a group of unruly teenagers like us, we began to pelt the lower half of the theater with candy. We later learned that it was a man having a heart attack. FML

#844380
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9822) - you deserved it (90651)

On 04/06/2009 at 10:11pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had to give a speech on abstinence to a bunch of teenage boys, and surprisingly they were paying attention. After they left, I went to the bathroom and saw I had missed a few buttons on my blouse. The boys had a close up view of my cleavage for 3 hours. FML

#831890
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21050) - you deserved it (58962)

On 04/06/2009 at 6:41am - misc - by Anna (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had a really cute waitress at lunch. I decided to leave my number and a $50 bill for a $15 check. When I left the restaurant I realized I still had the $50 but a $1 bill was missing from my wallet. I've been getting threatening text messages all day. FML

#829368
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15467) - you deserved it (58003)

On 04/06/2009 at 1:07am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)



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