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FMLs submitted from Illinois

Today, my best guy friend set me up on a blind date. Almost immediately after the guy and I sat down, he excused himself to make a call. A couple of feet away from our table, I heard him say, "Come on, Justin, this is the best you could do??" Over the phone. Justin is the guy who set us up. FML

#3676766
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44495) - you deserved it (2773)

On 07/11/2009 at 9:19pm - love - by blind_loser (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I ran into my ex-boyfriend who dumped me after 2 1/2 years because I got fat. The last two years I've lost 68 lbs, am happier and couldn't wait to shove that in his face. So, of course the first time he see's me I'm alone, pushing a shopping cart full of ice cream for a party later. FML

#3593405
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46439) - you deserved it (5650)

On 07/08/2009 at 9:28pm - love - by WeightAMinute (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while on a run, I thought I'd run into a flock of geese in a field. Doing so, I learned that when you do this alone, the birds don't fly away, they attack. FML

#3485353
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11363) - you deserved it (57919)

On 07/04/2009 at 5:56pm - animals - by SwordFish8 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I checked my voicemail. I was really surprised to hear an adorable message from my boyfriend, who was vacationing in Florida. I was even more surprised to hear him having sex with some other girl for the last seven minutes of the message. FML

#3478288
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56804) - you deserved it (2718)

On 07/04/2009 at 11:51am - intimacy - by hangup (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I watched my best friend get married to the guy I have been in love with since the 8th grade. I was the maid of honor, and had to give a toast to the couple. FML

#3465145
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64544) - you deserved it (15794)

On 07/03/2009 at 9:45pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my husband's rich aunt and uncle came in town and handed us an envelope and said we hope this helps out with the student loans. Inside the envelope was just an article on new student loan procedures and how to get lower payments. FML

#3430173
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41651) - you deserved it (8303)

On 07/02/2009 at 4:37pm - money - by kbrider (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I called back a number I recently missed a call from. To my surprise, it was the number of my boyfriend's fiancé. I've been with him 4 years, he's been with her for 6. Turns out, not only is he a cheating jerk, but technically I'M the other woman. FML

#3423301
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55126) - you deserved it (4424)

On 07/02/2009 at 9:31am - love - by Anna (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I left my dog alone in the house for ten minutes while I took a shower. When I got out I found a mess of dust all over the floor and her ripping up a package that was supposed to be sent to my aunt. It contained my grandmother's ashes. FML

#3383261
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44860) - you deserved it (7031)

On 07/01/2009 at 12:31am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my husband passed a massive kidney stone. He is so proud of it that he wants to decorate our home with it. It is now sitting on my kitchen counter next to my produce. FML

Today, I learned my 40 year old father is marrying a girl barely a year and a half older than me. She told me not to be afraid to call her mom. I was torn between punching her in the face and vomiting. FML

#3264690
266 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66257) - you deserved it (2913)

On 06/27/2009 at 1:32am - misc - by OfCourse (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went to announce to my son that I am pregnant again. After I told him, he looks up and yells: "fuck this shit!" and walks out of the room. My son is nine years old. FML

#3261545
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63147) - you deserved it (26308)

On 06/27/2009 at 12:05am - kids - by poormom (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I told my dad I couldn't make the trip to see him this weekend because I had to work. I surprised him by driving ten hours, and while he was out, I let myself in with my key and hid behind the couch for when he came in. He walked in. I jumped out. I then had to call 911. FML

#3109528
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36194) - you deserved it (18529)

On 06/22/2009 at 1:27am - misc - by FathersDay (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was in the basement at my grandma's house. The bathroom is on the ground floor and there's a laundry chute that goes down to the basement. I looked through the chute to see if the bathroom light was on. A pair of shitty underpants came down and landed in my face. They were my grandma's. FML

#3078532
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38928) - you deserved it (10813)

On 06/21/2009 at 12:19am - misc - by yuck (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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