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FMLs submitted from Illinois

Today, I was on my couch when my landlord walked in. He asked what I was doing there. I responded with the same question. Apparently my roommate forgot to call me and tell me that our lease ended three days ago. I am now standing in the parking lot with all my belongings, and it is raining. FML

#4288401
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49882) - you deserved it (6399)

On 08/04/2009 at 6:12pm - misc - by bigryngf (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was at my job as a flight attendant. A passenger on my plane stopped breathing and turned blue. As I cleared his airways and was busy strapping an oxygen mask to his face, the passenger behind him tried to hand me her trash. Apparently I'm a walking trash can, no matter what I'm doing. FML

#4100528
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62178) - you deserved it (2916)

On 07/28/2009 at 3:29am - work - by skygoddess (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I drove six hours with a friend to see one of her favorite bands in concert. We were turned away at the door because the online site didn't say we had to be 21 to enter. I drove six hours back with nothing to show for it but an empty gas tank and useless tickets. FML

#4074889
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37896) - you deserved it (8675)

On 07/27/2009 at 5:38am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had to tell my 10 year old son that me and his father are getting a divorce. His reply? "Yes! I call living with dad!" FML

#4066807
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51945) - you deserved it (11919)

On 07/26/2009 at 11:13pm - kids - by reckless182 (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I woke up from the worst nightmare I've ever had. After tearfully explaining to my boyfriend, in detail, how bad this dream was, he told me to "put on my big girl panties" and make him breakfast. FML

#3998024
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43256) - you deserved it (12584)

On 07/24/2009 at 2:40am - love - by vanguardwiley (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I tried to break up with my boyfriend. He said no. FML

#3991086
327 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57807) - you deserved it (26180)

On 07/23/2009 at 10:26pm - love - by Ella (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got very dressed up and was excited for my uncle's wedding. While standing in line for photos, I heard my dad's voice from behind me say "Who's the hot chick in the brown dress?" My uncle responds "Uh, that's your daughter." Silence. FML

#3967657
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69547) - you deserved it (4244)

On 07/23/2009 at 12:26am - misc - by Rory (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I pulled up next to my boyfriend at a stoplight. He was in the back of a police car. FML

#3929849
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51878) - you deserved it (5788)

On 07/21/2009 at 1:45pm - love - by sexychica (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend and I were on the phone. He started talking dirty, and saying how horny he was, etc. So I decided to play along and said "I want you to picture me naked, baby." All of a sudden I heard a huge sigh. He responded, "Ew, that just killed it." FML

#3925036
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62281) - you deserved it (11485)

On 07/21/2009 at 6:42am - intimacy - by picturemenakedbaby (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out that just because your boyfriend asks you to marry him doesn't mean that he will show up at the wedding. FML

#3890041
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (218558) - you deserved it (13128)

On 07/19/2009 at 9:06pm - love - by Loveless (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I woke up when the guy I had spent the night with slid out of bed. When he realized I was awake, he looked down at me, shook his head, and said "I've gotta lay off the beer..." FML

#3863732
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47477) - you deserved it (12546)

On 07/18/2009 at 7:31pm - intimacy - by blackntangirl (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I proudly informed my boyfriend that I am now a size 4, down from an 18, after months of dieting and exercising after he told me he would like me to be a size 6. He broke up with me for "not listening to what he wanted" and "being an overachiever". FML

#3861516
375 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71705) - you deserved it (7649)

On 07/18/2009 at 5:35pm - misc - by overachiever - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was surprising my husband because our sex life is lacking. We have planned sex tuesday night, every week, with the lights off. When he came home for lunch, I was nude and waiting for him. He took one look and said, "I forgot you looked like that. Meh, I'm going back to work." FML

#3855334
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69470) - you deserved it (7745)

On 07/18/2009 at 11:51am - intimacy - by Meh (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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