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FMLs submitted from Illinois

Today, my parents decided to "discipline" my kitten by spraying her with water. This somehow managed to completely un-train her, and now she's back to being the compulsive biter she was when I first brought her home. FML

#21318466
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29269) - you deserved it (3078)

On 12/16/2014 at 10:01am - animals - by scars - United States (Illinois)

Today, my oldest friend got engaged to her loving boyfriend of one year. Meanwhile, I can't even get my boyfriend of more than four years to commit to a decision of what he wants for dinner. FML

#21316127
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30215) - you deserved it (4643)

On 12/12/2014 at 10:17am - love - by galladore - United States (Illinois)

Today, being useless at thinking of gifts, I asked my boyfriend what he wants for Christmas. I said it could be anything that I could afford. He looked me in the eye and said very seriously: "Anal." FML

#21312610
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37342) - you deserved it (11668)

On 12/06/2014 at 2:53pm - intimacy - by fuckered519 (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend brought me to a restaurant on a surprise date. I guess he didn't know that my ex-boyfriend now works there, and that he would be our waiter for the evening. FML

#21311019
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31997) - you deserved it (3021)

On 12/03/2014 at 9:49pm - love - by maddieex - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend went to work instead of going to my father's funeral. He works at home and chooses his own hours. FML

#21308437
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35967) - you deserved it (3214)

On 11/29/2014 at 11:29pm - misc - by .... - United States (Illinois)

Today, I spent nearly an hour helping a customer pick out an engagement ring. I rang him up, picked out a super cute box for the ring, and wished him luck. Later I realized I never put the ring inside the box. FML

#21304265
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32908) - you deserved it (16687)

On 11/23/2014 at 1:10am - misc - by KilledTheMoment - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was at a club and caught a cute guy's eye from across the bar. He smiled at me, got up and came over, then said "Oh shit! You looked way hotter from back there. Damn!" and walked away. FML

#21304109
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34567) - you deserved it (3372)

On 11/22/2014 at 8:33pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out that my mom is doing a study and is keeping used pads in the freezer. FML

#21298678
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35974) - you deserved it (2639)

On 11/13/2014 at 10:39pm - money - by PPP - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out that my girlfriend was cheating on me. Her excuse? I was the one that had initially introduced them. FML

#21298582
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33540) - you deserved it (2707)

On 11/13/2014 at 7:59pm - intimacy - by johnnycomehelpme - United States (Illinois)

Today, I walked into my bathroom, only to find my dad passed out on the floor with his pants around his ankles. FML

#21296970
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33012) - you deserved it (2905)

On 11/11/2014 at 1:56pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went to a Halloween party dressed in Charlie Brown's ghost costume, a white sheet with holes all over. I got beat up for dressing like a member of the KKK. FML

#21289401
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34639) - you deserved it (6864)

On 10/31/2014 at 11:59pm - misc - by Halloween Fail (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was a pregnant man for Halloween. Everyone at school thought it was funny, except my principal, who gave me a detention and said it was, "inappropriate and making a pregnant teacher feel uncomfortable". That pregnant teacher asked me to take a selfie with her. FML

#21289257
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34780) - you deserved it (2173)

On 10/31/2014 at 7:28pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was being interviewed for a grant over the phone. When asked why I wanted to go to school to be an OB nursing assistant, I panicked and yelled, "BECAUSE VAGINAS ARE FASCINATING!" into the receiver. FML

#21286497
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29584) - you deserved it (12720)

On 10/27/2014 at 7:05pm - health - by lady parts - United States (Illinois)



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