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FMLs submitted from Illinois

Today, I pulled over to help an attractive girl on the highway in the middle of nowhere. When I asked if she needed help she told me she was going to try starting her car one more time. She then started to make fake engine noises and told me that she was good to go and that I should be on my way. FML

#6528104
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35824) - you deserved it (5323)

On 11/30/2009 at 2:27am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, a mall cop tore up my 'Free hugs' sign. FML

#6489895
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32040) - you deserved it (15125)

On 11/28/2009 at 2:13am - misc - by Cornbreesha (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out that my wife had an affair with our marriage counselor. FML

#6480893
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56393) - you deserved it (2838)

On 11/27/2009 at 4:39pm - love - by Nobody (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was walking in rain. I had my hands in my pants pockets, so that the front of the jacket was pointing down. Halfway to Taco Bell, my crotch felt exceptionally wet. I looked down to see a wet spot. The rain on my jacket was channeled to my crotch. FML

#6462833
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21862) - you deserved it (5478)

On 11/26/2009 at 1:49pm - misc - by jaeilssanguh - United States (Illinois)

Today, I woke up early. As I was just about to fall back asleep, I was re-awoken to the sound of my parents doing it in the shower. FML

#6460097
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20529) - you deserved it (1912)

On 11/26/2009 at 9:19am - intimacy - by whattheshit (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, in dance class we did a choreography where we wear two shirts and take one off in one quick motion. After I took mine off, the audience goes "aaah". Then I realize that I had taken both my shirts off as stood there with only my bra on. I was being videotaped. FML

#6393242
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27440) - you deserved it (5700)

On 11/21/2009 at 7:36pm - misc - by girl (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend whom I love dearly because he doesn't share his feelings and won't commit. Yesterday, he wrote me a long love letter telling me he wanted to marry me. One of my kids had shoved it under my printer and I didn't find it until after he had moved out. FML

#6335376
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31681) - you deserved it (9841)

On 11/16/2009 at 11:13pm - misc - by lynxstorm - United States (Illinois)

Today, when I walked up to my car, all my windows were smashed. Thankfully, all I keep in my car is jumper cables, a pen, my car insurance and manual. Whoever smashed my windows apparently was pissed, 'cos they left a note saying "F**k you and your f**king station wagon". FML

#6315391
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28382) - you deserved it (2235)

On 11/15/2009 at 6:16pm - misc - by Smashed (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I woke up to find that I left my headlights on last night. I found out by the headlights of my car smashed and a post-it note on my windshield saying "you accidentally left your headlights on... I took care of that for you". FML

#6296267
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27754) - you deserved it (5661)

On 11/14/2009 at 1:02am - misc - by ZINGER (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my girlfriend made me shave my chest. Afterwards, she said I looked like I was 12. She won't have sex with me until it grows back. FML

#6287629
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22363) - you deserved it (4474)

On 11/13/2009 at 2:04pm - intimacy - by thelistman (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my younger brother decided it would be fun to slam a door on my hand while I was holding my brand new $200 cell phone that I got for my birthday. Nothing says Happy Birthday like a broken phone to go along with a broken hand. FML

#6184737
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30186) - you deserved it (2205)

On 11/06/2009 at 5:26pm - misc - by imsad (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I encountered one of my professors from college. Back when I was in his game theory class, he publicly criticized me for falling asleep and not paying attention, to which I retaliated by acing all of his exams. Four years and a degree later, I met him again... while working at Pizza Hut. FML

#6148515
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28864) - you deserved it (11084)

On 11/04/2009 at 7:56am - work - by mylifeisfed (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got to my apartment early after being out really late the night before. Maybe next time I should call ahead of time so that my roommate has time to sneak my girlfriend out of his bedroom. FML

#6116013
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42153) - you deserved it (2691)

On 11/02/2009 at 6:05am - love - by ZPyRoGoDz (man) - United States (Illinois)



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