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FMLs submitted from Illinois

Today, I was playing around on Photo Booth, using weird effects on pictures of myself. I clicked on one and thought to myself that it was a really ugly effect. Then I noticed that it was set on normal. FML

#7183018
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16899) - you deserved it (22426)

On 01/06/2010 at 4:05pm - misc - by ugly5402 (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went to the DMV to renew my license. When I gave the woman behind the desk my name and social security number she looked confused. She then called over her manager, who did the same thing. Getting nervous, I asked what was wrong. Apparently according to the state of Illinois I'm dead. FML

#7179468
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46110) - you deserved it (2169)

On 01/06/2010 at 9:55am - misc - by driver (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went on a blind date that my best friend had set up for me. When I arrived, I introduced myself and we sat at the table. After we ordered our food, he asked the waiter for some crayons and a kid's menu, and colored for the half hour before our food came. He didn't talk to me at all. FML

#7169187
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27367) - you deserved it (3468)

On 01/05/2010 at 8:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my 8 year-old niece and I were arguing over how many letters were in the alphabet. Guess who was right. FML

#7117360
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6128) - you deserved it (43877)

On 01/03/2010 at 1:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my mom informed me that my entire family puts their dirty towels on the towel rack in the bathroom instead of the hamper. I've been using their dirty towels after showers for as long as I remember. FML

#7108098
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22834) - you deserved it (5715)

On 01/02/2010 at 5:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, is January 1st. Last night, I threw a party. Only 3 people came. Luckily, one of the people who came was the love of my life, I had been hoping to get a midnight kiss from him. Unluckly, he decided to get back with his ex-girlfriend. At my party. They were liplocked almost the whole time. FML

#7087777
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24570) - you deserved it (3840)

On 01/01/2010 at 7:09pm - love - by ScrewedOver (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I thought my family would like it if I celebrated the new year with them. My brother thought that I'd like him to shoot my butt with his new gun in celebration. FML

#7077450
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20913) - you deserved it (2288)

On 01/01/2010 at 5:29am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I came home to find my Dad cheating on his new wife of six weeks. With my own mother who was supposedly dating "a real catch". Should I be happy that my parents love each other or pissed off that they're both whores? I can't decide. FML

#7025627
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28009) - you deserved it (2532)

On 12/30/2009 at 12:03am - intimacy - by wheresthelove (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was really horny after some dirty texts from my boyfriend. Since everyone seemed to be sleeping, I closed my eyes and started to touch myself. I was really close to climaxing when I opened my eyes and made eye contact with my mother staring at me as I was masturbating. FML

#7020543
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24290) - you deserved it (9433)

On 12/29/2009 at 8:05pm - intimacy - by Rawr (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I told my mom I was going on a date tonight. She laughed and didn't believe me. When I tried to convince her it was real, she got mad and grounded me for lying. I had to cancel the date. FML

#7014682
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35141) - you deserved it (3279)

On 12/29/2009 at 1:50pm - love - by Grounded (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, the girl that I have been secretly madly in love with for 6 years told me "fuck off and stop doing nice things for me." FML

#6980347
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28907) - you deserved it (9095)

On 12/27/2009 at 9:18pm - love - by anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my parents bought me an alarm clock that runs away from you while beeping obnoxiously when you hit snooze. I just had ankle surgery and am unable to walk. FML

#6966351
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27599) - you deserved it (2382)

On 12/27/2009 at 12:35am - misc - by Crippled (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my 25 year old brother ran into my room very excited at 8am. "Wake up! We got a new puppy!" he told me. I was so excited so I jumped out of my warm bed. When I asked him if he was serious he said "No, but we have to go to church, so get dressed." FML

#6937151
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27423) - you deserved it (8454)

On 12/25/2009 at 10:30am - misc - by MessyMal (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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