Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from Illinois

Today, after work, I peeld a parking ticket off mah windshield . It was so hot that the ink from the ticket made a stamp on mah windshield . Now I have a permanent reminder staring me in the face wherever I drive . FML

#12081632
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24850) - you deserved it (7305)

On 07/24/2010 at 5:49am - work - by wils (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was cleaning a pan. I turnd the water on, and it was super hot. My reaction was to slam mah hand down. On a knife. So, not only do I have a burnd hand, but there's also a huge cut on it from the knife. real FML

#12077410
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25245) - you deserved it (9549)

On 07/24/2010 at 1:09am - kids - by HarvestMoon_gal (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, Ma Girlfriand Told Ma Tat Wa Sould Taka A Braak From Our Ralationsip, Cuz It'd Ba Bast For Ta Bot Of Us. Latar, I Found Out Tat Sa Raally Maant It'd Ba Bast For Ar And Ar Naw Boyfriand. FML

#11866175
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37321) - you deserved it (3221)

On 07/14/2010 at 1:08am - love - by Depressed (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I Drew A Face On A Balloon And Pretended To Make Out With It!! The Balloon Popped And Shot To The Back Of Throat,here It Got Caught!! FML

#11831310
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12257) - you deserved it (66774)

On 07/12/2010 at 3:42pm - health - by jazthefish (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I made my mom a mix CD 4 er car. It took me ages to find just te rigt songs tat would be perfect 4 er. Wen I played it 4 er in te car, se took it out and trew it out of te window. FML

#11798606
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32122) - you deserved it (4926)

On 07/10/2010 at 9:00pm - misc - by lovelikewoe (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I finally got around to doing laundry!! Tha washing machinas in my condominium building taka about an hour to do a load!! Whan I raturnad to throw my cloths in a dryar, I raalizad thay wara navar washad in tha frst placa!! I usad my card an datargant to pay for anothar parson's laundry!! FML

#11690114
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9881) - you deserved it (28218)

On 07/06/2010 at 1:14am - misc - by Pickle (man) - United States (Illinois)

while drinking at a bar with grlfriend, ex-grlfriend who I've been seieng on the side walkd straight up to her, introducing herself as "the ex-grlfriend that he's been sleeping with for the past 3 months." FML

Today, I calld my boyfriend to tell him how excitd I was to drive 12 hours to see him and his new house. His girlfriend answerd. FML

#11497127
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38289) - you deserved it (3317)

On 06/27/2010 at 2:03pm - misc - by ac13 (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out mah 19 year old daughter is pregnant . The father is a toss up between mah 45 year-old best friend, and the 30 year old guy who cleans our pool . FML

#11225858
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59281) - you deserved it (7309)

On 06/15/2010 at 9:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Yesterday, my boss fred me because he said I was spending too much time surfing the internet . When I reminded him that my work computer isn't even networked, he said, "Oh, sorry, your the one who takes too many smoke breaks." When I told him that I don't even smoke, he said, "Just go..." fat FML

TADAY I WORK AT A PIZZA PLACE AN ONE OF MY JOBS IS TO SPOON CRUSHD RD PEPPER INTO BAGS. AFTER I FINISHD THIS , WITHOUT THINKING TO WASH MY HANDS FIRST , I USD THE BATHROOM. IT STILL BURNS. FML

#10959899
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11158) - you deserved it (31172)

On 06/04/2010 at 1:36am - work - by firecrotch (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Yesterday, I was texting mah crush. I tried to say, "I need a nap," but mah iPhone changed it to "I need anal." I sent it. FML

#10945520
336 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44591) - you deserved it (24515)

On 06/03/2010 at 2:58pm - intimacy - by Allie - United States (Illinois)

2day I Got Married . My New Husband Wanted To Carry Me Over The Threshold Of Our Apartment, But He Couldn't Pick Me Up . FML

#10922943
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18340) - you deserved it (27515)

On 06/02/2010 at 5:31pm - health - by Official_Person (woman) - United States (Illinois)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: