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FMLs submitted from Illinois

Today, I realized after sending out countless copies of my resume to companies, I failed to add my phone number on it. FML

#7960442
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7159) - you deserved it (26722)

On 02/07/2010 at 1:12am - work - by jobless (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I told my girlfriend's father that I wanted to talk about his daughter. I then went on to tell him I was thinking about 'popping the cherry', instead of 'popping the question'. FML

#7883509
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19378) - you deserved it (11305)

On 02/04/2010 at 7:29pm - intimacy - by stoopidpoop (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got married. My mother told me to stop being difficult, because she was the mother of the bride, and it was her day to shine. FML

#7845812
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36290) - you deserved it (2585)

On 02/03/2010 at 12:58pm - love - by bluebride (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was babysitting three little kids. I decided to give one of them (a seven-year-old) a piggy-back ride, thinking I'm strong enough. I managed to get a few feet before faceplanting on the wooden floor. She is fine though, no pain or anything. My face took the impact for both of us. FML

#7693157
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8682) - you deserved it (22428)

On 01/30/2010 at 12:05am - kids - by ouchy (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my mom asked me if I would be embarrassed if she got a tramp stamp. FML

#7651599
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26571) - you deserved it (2229)

On 01/28/2010 at 8:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I realized that my ex-girlfriend has gone further with a girl than I have. FML

#7608615
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20827) - you deserved it (4490)

On 01/27/2010 at 6:55am - intimacy - by Patrick - United States (Illinois)

Today, I woke up to a text from my boyfriend that said "Dude, I think she knows I'm going to break up with her." FML

#7534728
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32373) - you deserved it (2329)

On 01/24/2010 at 12:21am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was sitting in IHOP with my girlfriend of six months when she brought in her son of three years she had neglected to tell me about, and asked 'Does this change things?' FML

#7493189
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31098) - you deserved it (3928)

On 01/22/2010 at 2:26am - love - by Rodrigeuz26 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was teaching a class and my student pointed out that I used the wrong "your" while writing on the board. FML

#7357250
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5419) - you deserved it (42004)

On 01/15/2010 at 12:39pm - work - by englishfail (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was pointing out my car to my roommate. He responded with, "Oh that one with the broken window?" Turns out my car had been broken into. They took my CD player, GPS and Ipod. On top of that they left a Reese's Fastbreak wrapper and sunflower seeds on my front seat. FML

#7324506
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21417) - you deserved it (3097)

On 01/13/2010 at 7:08pm - misc - by Eli (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I made a batch of "special" brownies for a party I was going to tonight. I wrapped them up and put them on the counter with a note that said DO NOT EAT. Later on I came home from some errands to find a tray of half eaten brownies and my ten year old sister passed out on the couch. FML

#7256153
383 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10887) - you deserved it (52208)

On 01/10/2010 at 10:37am - health - by badsister (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while arguing with my boyfriend about how I wasn't a bad driver and could parallel park, I decided it was easier to just let him do it. Unfortunately, while getting out of the car to switch seats, I forgot to take the car out of drive and it ran into the car in front of us. He was right. FML

#7244801
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5464) - you deserved it (26537)

On 01/09/2010 at 9:20pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I woke up and felt that my arm was sore. I got so drunk last night, I got an unprofessional tattoo of a penis. FML

#7213754
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8742) - you deserved it (44493)

On 01/08/2010 at 6:48am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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