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FMLs submitted from Illinois

Today, I realized that my ex-girlfriend has gone further with a girl than I have. FML

#7608615
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20774) - you deserved it (4483)

On 01/27/2010 at 6:55am - intimacy - by Patrick - United States (Illinois)

Today, I woke up to a text from my boyfriend that said "Dude, I think she knows I'm going to break up with her." FML

#7534728
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32315) - you deserved it (2326)

On 01/24/2010 at 12:21am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was sitting in IHOP with my girlfriend of six months when she brought in her son of three years she had neglected to tell me about, and asked 'Does this change things?' FML

#7493189
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31043) - you deserved it (3923)

On 01/22/2010 at 2:26am - love - by Rodrigeuz26 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was teaching a class and my student pointed out that I used the wrong "your" while writing on the board. FML

#7357250
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5405) - you deserved it (41954)

On 01/15/2010 at 12:39pm - work - by englishfail (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was pointing out my car to my roommate. He responded with, "Oh that one with the broken window?" Turns out my car had been broken into. They took my CD player, GPS and Ipod. On top of that they left a Reese's Fastbreak wrapper and sunflower seeds on my front seat. FML

#7324506
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21375) - you deserved it (3093)

On 01/13/2010 at 7:08pm - misc - by Eli (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I made a batch of "special" brownies for a party I was going to tonight. I wrapped them up and put them on the counter with a note that said DO NOT EAT. Later on I came home from some errands to find a tray of half eaten brownies and my ten year old sister passed out on the couch. FML

#7256153
383 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10866) - you deserved it (52135)

On 01/10/2010 at 10:37am - health - by badsister (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while arguing with my boyfriend about how I wasn't a bad driver and could parallel park, I decided it was easier to just let him do it. Unfortunately, while getting out of the car to switch seats, I forgot to take the car out of drive and it ran into the car in front of us. He was right. FML

#7244801
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5398) - you deserved it (26351)

On 01/09/2010 at 9:20pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I woke up and felt that my arm was sore. I got so drunk last night, I got an unprofessional tattoo of a penis. FML

#7213754
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8737) - you deserved it (44425)

On 01/08/2010 at 6:48am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, after having sexual intercourse with my boyfriend, we went downstairs to find his parents had come home early and had heard everything. I then received a long scolding from his mother of how I'd disrespected her house. My boyfriend received a high-five and a thumbs-up from his dad. FML

#7204414
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21518) - you deserved it (4533)

On 01/07/2010 at 8:07pm - intimacy - by oopsies (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was playing around on Photo Booth, using weird effects on pictures of myself. I clicked on one and thought to myself that it was a really ugly effect. Then I noticed that it was set on normal. FML

#7183018
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16872) - you deserved it (22402)

On 01/06/2010 at 4:05pm - misc - by ugly5402 (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went to the DMV to renew my license. When I gave the woman behind the desk my name and social security number she looked confused. She then called over her manager, who did the same thing. Getting nervous, I asked what was wrong. Apparently according to the state of Illinois I'm dead. FML

#7179468
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46057) - you deserved it (2167)

On 01/06/2010 at 9:55am - misc - by driver (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, one of my managers at work asked me to carrying our new Frappe machine to front counter for assembling. Being 5 months pregnant, I explained to her I am unable to safely lift more than 20-30lbs. I was then fired and told that I shouldn't use being pregnant as an excuse to not work. FML

#7178040
299 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43995) - you deserved it (4152)

On 01/06/2010 at 6:06am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went on a blind date that my best friend had set up for me. When I arrived, I introduced myself and we sat at the table. After we ordered our food, he asked the waiter for some crayons and a kid's menu, and colored for the half hour before our food came. He didn't talk to me at all. FML

#7169187
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27345) - you deserved it (3468)

On 01/05/2010 at 8:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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