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FMLs submitted from Illinois

Today, I baked a strawberry cake and I didn't have any fresh strawberries for garnish, so I used a can of strawberry pie filling. My neighbors said it looked like the cake was taken from the dumpster behind an abortion clinic. FML

#21146042
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41066) - you deserved it (8067)

On 05/20/2014 at 5:54am - misc - by sothishappened (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I called the cops on a couple who was fighting outside my window at 4am. They hid in the bushes when the cops came, came back out when they left, and started fighting again. FML

#21142655
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43632) - you deserved it (4372)

On 05/17/2014 at 6:11am - misc - by frustrated - United States (Illinois)

Today, a lady handed me a $10 tip on a $45 bill. I was happy with it, since it was more than 20%, until she came back in and said, "I'm sorry I gave you the wrong amount." I handed it back to her and then she gave me a dollar. FML

#21138539
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46898) - you deserved it (4461)

On 05/13/2014 at 9:58am - money - by monkey2069 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I let my sister use my phone to play music in the shower, expecting her to use the speakers I have. She used a ziplock bag with a hole in it to connect her headphones. Now I have a waterlogged phone and my sister still doesn't understand why it didn't work. FML

#21130991
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43299) - you deserved it (7578)

On 05/04/2014 at 11:18pm - misc - by wow. - United States (Illinois)

Today, I farted so loudly I not only woke myself up, but my husband as well. He mistook my gas for someone trying to break in and insisted on checking the whole house. I was too embarrassed to tell him the truth. FML

#21125262
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42136) - you deserved it (8567)

On 04/28/2014 at 12:58pm - misc - by gassymomma (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, the man sitting next to me on the train tried to sneak a dead cat into my bag while I was sleeping. FML

#21121912
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42551) - you deserved it (3543)

On 04/24/2014 at 4:52pm - animals - by now have a cat - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was being shown how to use a nail gun while applying for a job at a construction company. The instructor shot me in the arm with it. I didn't even get the job. FML

#21107174
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44947) - you deserved it (3147)

On 04/07/2014 at 10:13pm - work - by watch_corn_dance - United States (Illinois)

Today, my clingy girlfriend refused to leave me alone long enough for me to read an article about dealing with clingy girlfriends. FML

#21095315
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41271) - you deserved it (5946)

On 03/24/2014 at 4:28pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out why my dad always treated me badly as a kid compared to my siblings. It's because I was conceived while my mom was cheating on him. On top of that, he made it clear that he still doesn't consider me a "real" part of the family. FML

#21091901
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51265) - you deserved it (3001)

On 03/20/2014 at 4:23pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had a music duet in front of a crowd and 3 judges. I play tuba and my partner plays the saxophone. He burst out laughing in the middle of it because one note that I played sounded like a fart. FML

#21082619
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38463) - you deserved it (4203)

On 03/09/2014 at 10:09pm - misc - by some band player - United States (Illinois)

Today, after weeks of summoning up the courage to come out of the closet to my best friend, I told her I was gay. Immediately after she started cracking up, thinking it was a joke. I was so confused and nervous, I went along with it. She still thinks I'm straight. FML

#21078266
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40951) - you deserved it (6714)

On 03/04/2014 at 9:46pm - misc - by augiedd (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I made myself a hot pocket for lunch. I managed to scald myself on the red-hot cheese, and at the same time bite into the center, which was somehow still frozen solid. FML

#21073990
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34983) - you deserved it (6579)

On 02/28/2014 at 12:13pm - health - by loserr (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I wanted to pretend to have a seizure so my baby sister could know when to call 911. When I fell down and started to pretend, she decided to drink my soda instead of helping me. FML

#21071750
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38085) - you deserved it (14919)

On 02/25/2014 at 10:50pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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