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FMLs submitted from Illinois

Today, my brother asked me how to block someone on Facebook. Seeing as how my brother never asks me for anything, I took this opportunity to help him. He then blocked me. FML

#21034070
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42511) - you deserved it (7057)

On 01/20/2014 at 4:16pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went to the doctor, only to find out I can no longer eat chocolate, my favorite food. When I got home, my boyfriend took the chocolate cake I'd been eating from the fridge, sat down in front of me, and ate the whole thing without breaking eye contact. FML

#21025897
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51450) - you deserved it (6469)

On 01/12/2014 at 8:00pm - health - by foreveralone - United States (Illinois)

Today, we were playing charades at school. My word was "head", so I pointed to my face. Nobody on my team got it. But they did guess, "Ugly?!" FML

#21024059
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41270) - you deserved it (4427)

On 01/10/2014 at 11:02pm - misc - by kyyle - United States (Illinois)

Today, I took my girlfriend out to a restaurant for her birthday. She had to go to the toilet while there, and when she came back, she was crying. When I asked why, she said "I'm on my period!" and sobbed loudly in front of everyone that we couldn't have birthday sex. FML

#21016986
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57975) - you deserved it (6210)

On 01/04/2014 at 8:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was watching TV with my husband, and he started getting frisky. When the commercial break started, we started having sex. When he came, there were still two commercials left before the show resumed. FML

#21011750
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51539) - you deserved it (6003)

On 12/31/2013 at 4:19pm - intimacy - by erjazo (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was mopping the floor at the hotel I work at. Before I could react, a gentleman stormed through the corridor and slipped and fell on the still wet floor. He complained to the owner, who bitched me out just to satisfy the guy. FML

#21009463
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33197) - you deserved it (3501)

On 12/29/2013 at 4:04pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out I was passed over for the promotion I've wanted for 9 months at the fast food restaurant I work in. Who got the job? The 16 year old girl I trained 2 weeks ago. Their excuse was, "She has ambition." I'm going to college for food service management. She failed her drug test. FML

#21001701
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49763) - you deserved it (3756)

On 12/22/2013 at 7:58pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I would like to thank the program designer that put "Set as home page" directly under "Remove from history". FML

#20991949
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37297) - you deserved it (9940)

On 12/14/2013 at 1:38am - misc - by The_Rest_of_the_Story (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was gushing about my love for Disney princesses when someone told me I "definitely needed to calm down." By whom? A four-year-old girl. FML

Today, I saw a psychiatrist for the first time. After telling her everything I'm going through, she looked at me and said "You know... every five years or so I get a case completely beyond my ability to help." I guess it's been five years. FML

#20963305
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45201) - you deserved it (2952)

On 11/19/2013 at 12:31pm - health - by elle (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was at a diner with friends when we decided to put our phones in the middle of the table on the basis that whoever looks at theirs first has to pay. It was going well, until someone rushed up behind me, slammed my face into the table and ran out with our 4 phones. FML

#20961108
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39667) - you deserved it (5198)

On 11/17/2013 at 4:59pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend of three years sent me a text message saying "It's over!". I sent him maybe a thousand texts saying "Why?", "What do you mean?!" After an hour of crying and whatnot, I realized he had driver's education today and that he was saying the class was over. FML

#20959504
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29417) - you deserved it (44300)

On 11/16/2013 at 5:06am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while I was in a bathroom stall, the guy next to me asked me for toilet paper. It was then that I realized I didn't have any either. FML

#20957459
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40918) - you deserved it (4409)

On 11/14/2013 at 11:44am - misc - by CallmeEddie - United States (Illinois)



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