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FMLs submitted from Illinois

Today, I was running late and rushing to a waiting bus. I made it to the doors just as they closed. I knocked desperately, hoping the driver would let me in. He hovered his hand over the button for a few seconds, then flipped me off and drove away laughing. FML

#14325917
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32332) - you deserved it (3542)

On 12/24/2010 at 5:32pm - misc - by hahahano (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had to go to the bathroom. I was in a rush, so I went into the boys bathroom. I then had diarrhea. The entire basketball team was waiting for me outside the stall. They did a slow clap for me. FML

#14277581
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32273) - you deserved it (7565)

On 12/20/2010 at 9:31pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was entertaining people during an extra curricular school function in order to help "brighten people's spirits in their time of need". After it was all over, I found out that my phone had been stolen. FML

#14186958
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20671) - you deserved it (2810)

On 12/13/2010 at 2:41am - misc - by yermom (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was depressed because my boobs are really small for a 20 year old woman. To make me feel better my boyfriend said, "As long as they're bigger than mine." They weren't. FML

#14111441
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33418) - you deserved it (4219)

On 12/06/2010 at 8:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, at work, one of my 6 year old students who has had intense speech therapy since kindergarten, told me "I can tell you're hot, because you rolled your sleeves up." I was very pleased with his articulate sentence, until he said "Your arms are hairy." FML

#14063291
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19365) - you deserved it (3808)

On 12/02/2010 at 7:47pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I couldn't find my key so I sat against the wall to wait for my roommate to get home. I fell asleep. When I woke up a few hours later, I could hear her inside. She chose not to wake me up and let me in. FML

#14057053
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23384) - you deserved it (3890)

On 12/02/2010 at 4:24am - misc - by e (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, it was my birthday. My parents got me a box of cupcakes. My brother got me a deck of cards. My aunt got me a brochure on how to quit smoking. I have diabetes, I don't play cards, and I don't smoke. FML

#14050181
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43239) - you deserved it (3281)

On 12/01/2010 at 6:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was seated, once again, at the "too small" children's table. I'm twenty. FML

#13977736
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25440) - you deserved it (2912)

On 11/25/2010 at 6:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, instead of going to a romantic dinner with my boyfriend like I'd planned, I ended up babysitting his queasy little sister. FML

#13925206
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20586) - you deserved it (3010)

On 11/21/2010 at 1:36pm - kids - by kaileekat517 (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, it took me a full ten minutes to finish on the toilet. I was babysitting at the time, and it took the kids those ten minutes to destroy the kitchen and shave the cat. FML

#13840378
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28206) - you deserved it (7578)

On 11/14/2010 at 12:18pm - kids - by nicki - United States (Illinois)

Today, the highlight of my day was that the gas station I work at finally got a new mop head. FML

#13801258
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24142) - you deserved it (3737)

On 11/11/2010 at 11:53am - work - by khaelian - United States (Illinois)

Today, my virgin girlfriend who wanted to lose her virginity to me got on Google, and quizzed me on how to properly put on a condom. She doesn't trust me. FML

#13764909
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24772) - you deserved it (7861)

On 11/08/2010 at 1:23pm - intimacy - by wow (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, at work, a woman fainted, and an extremely attractive cop came in to help. I ended up running into him an hour later. Seeing as though I'm not very shy or a nervous person, I struck up a conversation with him, thinking it must be fate. I ended up fumbling my words so much he asked if I was drunk. FML

#13733667
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25295) - you deserved it (6848)

On 11/06/2010 at 12:40am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)



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