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FMLs submitted from Illinois

Today, after getting out of the shower, I was in a good mood. So I decided to run around the house naked, then play air guitar while air drying, just for fun. My blinds were open, and the men in the Fedex truck in my front yard did have fun. FML

#13733539
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8468) - you deserved it (30010)

On 11/06/2010 at 12:31am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was waiting to take a dump in a gas station restroom. A 300 pound man walked out, shook his head, and said "I'm sorry" to me. FML

#13675906
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34471) - you deserved it (3319)

On 11/01/2010 at 3:39pm - misc - by mr_p - United States (Illinois)

Today, I sent the girl I like a Twinkie with a note saying "Enjoy! You deserve it". I found out later through an angry email that someone had written "you damn fatty" on the end of the note. FML

#13641335
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27661) - you deserved it (6372)

On 10/29/2010 at 7:53pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I finally mustered up the guts to ask this girl I like to dinner and a movie. She agreed on the terms that she could bring someone, and I'd said it wouldn't be a problem. When I met up with her a few hours later, I found out she'd brought her boyfriend. FML

#13639507
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29180) - you deserved it (6048)

On 10/29/2010 at 4:02pm - love - by Mal (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I overheard a conversation between a coworker and a new employee. The new girl was trying to get familiar with people's names, and she asked my coworker, "Which one is Heather?" He answered, "The annoying one." She said, "Oh, that's Heather." I'm Heather. FML

#13625422
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22355) - you deserved it (7599)

On 10/28/2010 at 10:19am - work - by kaz89 (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend and I were snuggling and telling eachother nice things. The nicest thing he could think of to say to me was "Well, I see you shaved your mustache." FML

#13611017
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25962) - you deserved it (5937)

On 10/27/2010 at 2:12am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I heard on the news that the average debt one is in when they graduate college is $24,000. I've been in college for one year and my debt is already $20,000. And it turns out that my school's accreditation does not exist like I was told. $20,000 in debt and no college credits to show for it. FML

#13582834
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23685) - you deserved it (6953)

On 10/24/2010 at 10:16pm - money - by krissysays (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my dad got a new phone and put me on speed dial. I have received several voice mails from him accidentally dialed. They are from him riding the train, in a meeting, having lunch, and, most recently, him taking a monstrous dump. FML

#13527563
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28761) - you deserved it (3054)

On 10/20/2010 at 6:22pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I met my roommate for the first time. I walked in the door to see him in full Roman gladiator gear, screaming at the computer because he lost 18 knights. He also told me he wakes up every 3 hours to make sure his army is still intact. FML

#13521547
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36574) - you deserved it (3093)

On 10/20/2010 at 3:00am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I received two cards in the mail for my late husband for his birthday. He has been dead for four years now, and the cards were from our two children, who live several states away. This is the fourth time it's happened, and neither of them answer my calls. Ever. FML

#13514836
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42596) - you deserved it (3323)

On 10/19/2010 at 6:58pm - kids - by widow - United States (Illinois)

Today, my fiancé proposed to me. I was really excited until he asked, "Can we go halfsies on the ring?" FML

Today, I met a guy that I liked. We really hit it off, that is until his parents walked by and he started begging them, down on his hands and knees, to buy him a new video game. FML

#13454084
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26885) - you deserved it (3824)

On 10/15/2010 at 12:18am - love - by lilshoobydoo14 - United States (Illinois)

Today, I allowed my friend to practice driving in my car. As she began to let the car roll forward, she looked at me and very seriously asked, "Brakes is the right pedal, right?" FML

#13440405
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9281) - you deserved it (26848)

On 10/13/2010 at 11:08pm - misc - by holly10350 (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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