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FMLs submitted from Illinois

Today, I woke up and felt that my arm was sore. I got so drunk last night, I got an unprofessional tattoo of a penis. FML

#7213754
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8220) - you deserved it (42709)

On 01/08/2010 at 6:48am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, after having sexual intercourse with my boyfriend, we went downstairs to find his parents had come home early and had heard everything. I then received a long scolding from his mother of how I'd disrespected her house. My boyfriend received a high-five and a thumbs-up from his dad. FML

#7204414
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18763) - you deserved it (4115)

On 01/07/2010 at 8:07pm - intimacy - by oopsies (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was playing around on Photo Booth, using weird effects on pictures of myself. I clicked on one and thought to myself that it was a really ugly effect. Then I noticed that it was set on normal. FML

#7183018
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16046) - you deserved it (21489)

On 01/06/2010 at 4:05pm - misc - by ugly5402 (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went to the DMV to renew my license. When I gave the woman behind the desk my name and social security number she looked confused. She then called over her manager, who did the same thing. Getting nervous, I asked what was wrong. Apparently according to the state of Illinois I'm dead. FML

#7179468
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41597) - you deserved it (1902)

On 01/06/2010 at 9:55am - misc - by driver (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, one of my managers at work asked me to carrying our new Frappe machine to front counter for assembling. Being 5 months pregnant, I explained to her I am unable to safely lift more than 20-30lbs. I was then fired and told that I shouldn't use being pregnant as an excuse to not work. FML

#7178040
298 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40853) - you deserved it (3877)

On 01/06/2010 at 6:06am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went on a blind date that my best friend had set up for me. When I arrived, I introduced myself and we sat at the table. After we ordered our food, he asked the waiter for some crayons and a kid's menu, and colored for the half hour before our food came. He didn't talk to me at all. FML

#7169187
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25627) - you deserved it (3281)

On 01/05/2010 at 8:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my 8 year-old niece and I were arguing over how many letters were in the alphabet. Guess who was right. FML

#7117360
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5227) - you deserved it (40247)

On 01/03/2010 at 1:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my mom informed me that my entire family puts their dirty towels on the towel rack in the bathroom instead of the hamper. I've been using their dirty towels after showers for as long as I remember. FML

#7108098
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21701) - you deserved it (5557)

On 01/02/2010 at 5:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, is January 1st. Last night, I threw a party. Only 3 people came. Luckily, one of the people who came was the love of my life, I had been hoping to get a midnight kiss from him. Unluckly, he decided to get back with his ex-girlfriend. At my party. They were liplocked almost the whole time. FML

#7087777
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21665) - you deserved it (3528)

On 01/01/2010 at 7:09pm - love - by ScrewedOver (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I thought my family would like it if I celebrated the new year with them. My brother thought that I'd like him to shoot my butt with his new gun in celebration. FML

#7077450
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19342) - you deserved it (2167)

On 01/01/2010 at 5:29am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I came home to find my Dad cheating on his new wife of six weeks. With my own mother who was supposedly dating "a real catch". Should I be happy that my parents love each other or pissed off that they're both whores? I can't decide. FML

#7025627
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24893) - you deserved it (2268)

On 12/30/2009 at 12:03am - intimacy - by wheresthelove (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was really horny after some dirty texts from my boyfriend. Since everyone seemed to be sleeping, I closed my eyes and started to touch myself. I was really close to climaxing when I opened my eyes and made eye contact with my mother staring at me as I was masturbating. FML

#7020543
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22620) - you deserved it (8997)

On 12/29/2009 at 8:05pm - intimacy - by Rawr (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I told my mom I was going on a date tonight. She laughed and didn't believe me. When I tried to convince her it was real, she got mad and grounded me for lying. I had to cancel the date. FML

#7014682
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30023) - you deserved it (2555)

On 12/29/2009 at 1:50pm - love - by Grounded (man) - United States (Illinois)



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