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FMLs submitted from Illinois

Today, I told the guy I like to listen to a song that expressed how I felt about him. When he was done, I asked what he thought about it. He said it made him realize that his ex was the love of his life and that he wants to go back to her. FML

#15131061
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34907) - you deserved it (7198)

On 02/26/2011 at 9:30pm - love - by sweet2u22 (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, after some passionate love making with my husband, I accidentally farted on his leg. He shrieked and frantically began shaking his leg while screaming, "Get it off! Get it off!" FML

#15079652
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22150) - you deserved it (33915)

On 02/22/2011 at 4:02pm - intimacy - by CutieBooty (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had all of my wisdom teeth removed. After the anesthesia wore off, I asked how long the procedure took, and the nurse told me a little less than an hour. Apparently I thought this was hilarious and started laughing, which ripped my new stitches. FML

#15051482
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28339) - you deserved it (5173)

On 02/20/2011 at 12:04pm - health - by bouncekitty - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out that my mom screams like a dying monkey while having sex. Even with my music turned up all the way, I can still hear her through our paper thin walls. FML

#14867901
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38138) - you deserved it (3298)

On 02/06/2011 at 2:38pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got chickenpox. I'm 28 and having chickenpox as an adult is excruciatingly painful. When I told my boss I wasn't going to be at work today because of chickenpox he replied, "That's the worst excuse I've ever heard. Adults don't get chickenpox." He then fired me. FML

#14832801
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38627) - you deserved it (2621)

On 02/03/2011 at 10:19pm - health - by Pox (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was at my doctor's office. I thought I had a kidney stone. Turns out I'm pregnant and I have a kidney stone. FML

#14689339
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30799) - you deserved it (4775)

On 01/23/2011 at 7:22pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out that I can't pass a field sobriety test while sober. FML

#14606739
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24087) - you deserved it (4364)

On 01/16/2011 at 10:59pm - misc - by sos (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my 2 year-old son decided to pee on the dog for the second day in a row. I'm afraid this will turn into a routine thing. FML

#14490872
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25574) - you deserved it (4672)

On 01/06/2011 at 10:23pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while sitting next to the cute guy in my English class, I had to sneeze. I turned away from him and sneezed into my arm. My long hair got in the way and I accidentally shot a huge snot rocket into my hair. I spent the rest of the class trying to get it out without him noticing. FML

#14450678
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24440) - you deserved it (4620)

On 01/03/2011 at 12:17pm - misc - by klyoung5 (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while making New Year's resolutions, I realized that I haven't hung out with anybody other than my family in over two years and I started crying. When my mom came in and I explained why I was crying, she replied, "Well that sucks. I'm off to have lunch with some friends. See you later!" FML

#14432295
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25313) - you deserved it (7490)

On 01/02/2011 at 12:17am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was in the elevator with my female coworker and a very attractive teen in front of us. My coworker reached out and grabbed the boobs of the teen in front of us, and blamed it on me. I got yelled at, kneed in the crotch, and punched in the face. My coworker couldn't stop laughing. FML

#14416914
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33666) - you deserved it (3414)

On 01/01/2011 at 12:06am - work - by Chris - United States (Illinois)

Today, my husband yawned in the middle of our wedding vows. FML

#14356876
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34020) - you deserved it (6680)

On 12/27/2010 at 12:52pm - love - by ohmy. - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was being driven to get my wisdom teeth removed and I was panicking all the way there. When we got to the office, I was told that I'd been brought in on the wrong day, and that I have to do this all over again tomorrow. FML

#14356435
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23188) - you deserved it (7764)

On 12/27/2010 at 11:28am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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