Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from Illinois

Today, I finally decided to do regular biology rather than honors biology, thinking honors would be too hard. My first day in regular biology, my lab partner asked me whether a rock was alive or not. FML

Today, my girlfriend, who recently started French classes, and I were having sex. Knowing how whispering in my ear turns me on, she whispered something in French, and I came. Later I found out it meant something like, "You should lose a lot of weight." FML

#12776865
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27746) - you deserved it (8265)

On 08/27/2010 at 8:18pm - intimacy - by gleefan116 (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I called my boyfriend to tell him how sweetly the main character on my favorite tv show proposed to his girlfriend. He told me to hang on a second, and later forgot about me while he told his brother about the hot blonde he slept with last night. FML

#12673402
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39378) - you deserved it (5894)

On 08/21/2010 at 11:32pm - intimacy - by jessiegirl - United States (Illinois)

Today, while casually sitting at a bar, a drunk biker with no teeth leaned over and tried to kiss me. I'm a sailor in the Navy, but I think I screamed like a little girl. FML

#12617808
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31156) - you deserved it (4848)

On 08/19/2010 at 1:16am - misc - by dentallycorrect - United States (Illinois)

Today, my mom called me to the laundry room after she saw a dead animal in there. I took a look and agreed we should call animal control. After ten minutes of freaking out, they finally arrived to confirm that the dead animal was the hood to my winter jacket. FML

#12531799
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7357) - you deserved it (36851)

On 08/15/2010 at 1:24am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, the girl who tormented my life for nine years was hired at my part-time job. We're assigned to work together on a three-month-long project which will involve tons of communication. FML

#12467820
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31216) - you deserved it (2727)

On 08/12/2010 at 12:31am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I asked my mother why she had me in the first place, as we never get along. She replied because my father wanted me. So, I called my father to ask him the same question, he said he only wanted to have me to keep my mother around, and that didn't work, so I was a waste. FML

#12467106
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41521) - you deserved it (3987)

On 08/12/2010 at 12:00am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while eating dinner, a car alarm went off outside for 15 minutes and was driving me crazy, until I realized it was my car. FML

#12425541
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7749) - you deserved it (32164)

On 08/10/2010 at 2:07am - misc - by clu - United States (Illinois)

Today, my husband thought it'd be funny to trigger the alarm in the house while I was sleeping. Shocked, I ran outside naked. FML

#12364417
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34180) - you deserved it (6530)

On 08/07/2010 at 1:21am - love - by Hunterxx (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I requested two hours off for tomorrow afternoon. My supervisor and manager called me into the office to talk to me about how important it is to be in the office as much as possible. A little later, my supervisor told me that for budgeting reasons, I have to take 3 non-paid days off. FML

#12150388
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22417) - you deserved it (2256)

On 07/27/2010 at 7:25pm - work - by hurikan68 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I tried to open the research paper I've been working on for the past month, only to discover that the entire file is permanently lost and can't be recovered. This is not the first time this has happened to this paper. FML

#12105075
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24945) - you deserved it (14425)

On 07/25/2010 at 3:31pm - misc - by ScienceFail (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, after work, I peeled a parking ticket off my windshield. It was so hot that the ink from the ticket made a stamp on my windshield. Now I have a permanent reminder staring me in the face wherever I drive. FML

#12081632
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23968) - you deserved it (7144)

On 07/24/2010 at 5:49am - work - by wils (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was cleaning a pan. I turned the water on, and it was super hot. My reaction was to slam my hand down. On a knife. So, not only do I have a burned hand, but there's also a huge cut on it from the knife. FML

#12077410
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24077) - you deserved it (9327)

On 07/24/2010 at 1:09am - kids - by HarvestMoon_gal (woman) - United States (Illinois)



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: