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FMLs submitted from Illinois

Today, my 2 year-old son decided to pee on the dog for the second day in a row. I'm afraid this will turn into a routine thing. FML

#14490872
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25461) - you deserved it (4670)

On 01/06/2011 at 10:23pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while sitting next to the cute guy in my English class, I had to sneeze. I turned away from him and sneezed into my arm. My long hair got in the way and I accidentally shot a huge snot rocket into my hair. I spent the rest of the class trying to get it out without him noticing. FML

#14450678
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23019) - you deserved it (4444)

On 01/03/2011 at 12:17pm - misc - by klyoung5 (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while making New Year's resolutions, I realized that I haven't hung out with anybody other than my family in over two years and I started crying. When my mom came in and I explained why I was crying, she replied, "Well that sucks. I'm off to have lunch with some friends. See you later!" FML

#14432295
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25233) - you deserved it (7480)

On 01/02/2011 at 12:17am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was in the elevator with my female coworker and a very attractive teen in front of us. My coworker reached out and grabbed the boobs of the teen in front of us, and blamed it on me. I got yelled at, kneed in the crotch, and punched in the face. My coworker couldn't stop laughing. FML

#14416914
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33550) - you deserved it (3405)

On 01/01/2011 at 12:06am - work - by Chris - United States (Illinois)

Today, my husband yawned in the middle of our wedding vows. FML

#14356876
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33927) - you deserved it (6673)

On 12/27/2010 at 12:52pm - love - by ohmy. - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was being driven to get my wisdom teeth removed and I was panicking all the way there. When we got to the office, I was told that I'd been brought in on the wrong day, and that I have to do this all over again tomorrow. FML

#14356435
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21710) - you deserved it (7593)

On 12/27/2010 at 11:28am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my girlfriend dumped me via text message. The sad thing is that I left my fiancée of 5 years to be with a girl I worked with at Walmart. My ex-fiancée is now a doctor. I still work at Walmart. FML

#14353887
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9489) - you deserved it (99781)

On 12/27/2010 at 3:47am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I rented a copy How To Train Your Dragon for my young son to watch. I put the DVD in, hit play without paying attention, and went off to make lunch. A few minutes later, my son ran into the kitchen screaming. Apparently, there was a mix up at the rental store and I got a copy of Saw IV. FML

#14337359
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39193) - you deserved it (10553)

On 12/25/2010 at 6:21pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was running late and rushing to a waiting bus. I made it to the doors just as they closed. I knocked desperately, hoping the driver would let me in. He hovered his hand over the button for a few seconds, then flipped me off and drove away laughing. FML

#14325917
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30154) - you deserved it (3354)

On 12/24/2010 at 5:32pm - misc - by hahahano (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had to go to the bathroom. I was in a rush, so I went into the boys bathroom. I then had diarrhea. The entire basketball team was waiting for me outside the stall. They did a slow clap for me. FML

#14277581
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32190) - you deserved it (7556)

On 12/20/2010 at 9:31pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was entertaining people during an extra curricular school function in order to help "brighten people's spirits in their time of need". After it was all over, I found out that my phone had been stolen. FML

#14186958
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19538) - you deserved it (2698)

On 12/13/2010 at 2:41am - misc - by yermom (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was depressed because my boobs are really small for a 20 year old woman. To make me feel better my boyfriend said, "As long as they're bigger than mine." They weren't. FML

#14111441
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33320) - you deserved it (4207)

On 12/06/2010 at 8:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, at work, one of my 6 year old students who has had intense speech therapy since kindergarten, told me "I can tell you're hot, because you rolled your sleeves up." I was very pleased with his articulate sentence, until he said "Your arms are hairy." FML

#14063291
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19285) - you deserved it (3793)

On 12/02/2010 at 7:47pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)



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