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FMLs submitted from Illinois

Today, my mom sold our electronic stuff to pay for hurricane shutters. We live in Chicago. FML

#16801509
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30321) - you deserved it (2566)

On 06/22/2011 at 4:05pm - money - by knevs - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went to the movies with my friend and two pretty girls. During the movie, he made out with both of them, while I sat there awkwardly and watched the movie. FML

#16727847
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43478) - you deserved it (5391)

On 06/18/2011 at 11:43am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was almost done getting ready for a really big date, when I heard my dad call for help from outside. I rushed downstairs and out the door, only to be ambushed and showered by my father with the garden hose. FML

#16714165
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31305) - you deserved it (3707)

On 06/17/2011 at 3:58pm - love - by anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out that as a supervisor, if you reprimand a female worker and end the conversation with "Now get back to making sandwiches." your boss will consider it sexism and suspend you. I work at Subway. FML

#16589228
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50222) - you deserved it (7802)

On 06/10/2011 at 1:01am - work - by MakeMeASandwich (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I gave my husband an ultimatum: either he could have sex with me or play Minecraft. Needless to say, he spent the rest of the evening playing Minecraft. FML

#16467610
388 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35804) - you deserved it (13076)

On 06/02/2011 at 12:52pm - intimacy - by minecraftwilldie - United States (Illinois)

Today, my only motivation to get out of bed was cupcakes in the refrigerator. FML

#16416160
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27810) - you deserved it (15012)

On 05/30/2011 at 10:59am - health - by skigal24 - United States (Illinois)

Today, I noticed my hidden porn folder on my laptop had been renamed to "LOL". I live with my teenage daughter, and no one else. FML

#16383481
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14828) - you deserved it (56123)

On 05/28/2011 at 5:24am - intimacy - by redhanded (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was so lonely that I was comforted by the sound of mice running through the walls of my apartment. I left cheese and peanut butter out for them to find so that I could at least have a pet for company. FML

#16338275
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30767) - you deserved it (9003)

On 05/25/2011 at 1:28am - misc - by Anon (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was driving back home with my mom when we saw two squirrels having sex in the road. I told her to just honk the horn. She said that I was being selfish, that sex is a beautiful thing, and that we should let them finish. We sat there for at least five minutes. FML

#16287224
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41796) - you deserved it (5607)

On 05/21/2011 at 9:00pm - intimacy - by squirrels69ing (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, for the first time all month I felt truly proud and accomplished. I finally figured out how to change the toilet seat. FML

#16246614
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10266) - you deserved it (20501)

On 05/18/2011 at 11:48pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went to my phone company and had my text history pulled. Why? Because a few days ago my 4 year old daughter told me that, "Daddy has a wife and a girlfriend." Turns out she was right. FML

#16176534
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43526) - you deserved it (3909)

On 05/14/2011 at 7:35pm - love - by Clueless (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I learned that my apartment building has two new tenants: my ex-girlfriend and her fiancé, the guy she cheated on me with. FML

#16076129
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38144) - you deserved it (2901)

On 05/07/2011 at 7:54am - love - by bigcityfail (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I snuck out to see my girlfriend in the middle of the night. When I got to her house, I decided to throw a rock at her window to wake her up. It broke a hole in the window. FML

#16075095
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10484) - you deserved it (44414)

On 05/07/2011 at 2:40am - misc - by Kaz (man) - United States (Illinois)



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