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FMLs submitted from Illinois

Today, my parents tried to convince me to get a divorce. My wife and I are perfectly fine. FML

#18754644
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28345) - you deserved it (2321)

On 01/09/2012 at 4:08am - love - by rook - United States (Illinois)

Today, I tried exercising. My whole house shook. FML

#18691343
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26574) - you deserved it (13396)

On 01/02/2012 at 10:47pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out that I've been using a "Trick Scale" that my family bought to boost my self esteem so I'd think I was losing weight. I found this out at my physical, where I learned I have actually gained ten pounds. FML

#18631764
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28181) - you deserved it (4443)

On 12/28/2011 at 2:57am - health - by Fatty - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went on a date with a guy I've had a crush on for a while. I shaved my legs and armpits and wore a short dress. It wasn't until I got to the meeting that I noticed I only shaved one of my legs. FML

#18593326
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30714) - you deserved it (16633)

On 12/23/2011 at 10:22pm - love - by bigmistake - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went caroling with some family friends. We got pelted with oranges. FML

#18585273
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16610) - you deserved it (20971)

On 12/23/2011 at 12:53am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, on my first day of work, I got fired after 45 minutes. FML

#18572874
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24807) - you deserved it (16140)

On 12/21/2011 at 7:07pm - work - by Tey - United States (Illinois)

Today, my mother told me I looked like a hooker in my wedding dress. Thanks mommy. FML

#18551023
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33431) - you deserved it (6455)

On 12/19/2011 at 2:55am - intimacy - by mo (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I ordered a pizza. I paid and tipped the pizza guy, and instead of saying goodbye, I got tongue-tied and said, "I love you, boo." FML

#18546937
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13832) - you deserved it (26652)

On 12/18/2011 at 6:36pm - misc - by Musicfreak (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, after getting rear ended by a car, I texted my husband to let him know I was in the hospital. His response? "I'm at Taco Bell." FML

#18515573
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29549) - you deserved it (3087)

On 12/14/2011 at 10:34pm - misc - by Mariah Heimann - United States (Illinois)

Today, my creepy, stalker ex-girlfriend was given an anonymous love letter. She's convinced it's from me. FML

#18479252
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27409) - you deserved it (2494)

On 12/10/2011 at 8:01pm - love - by DJ - United States (Illinois)

Today, I drove into the parking lot at work, and discovered too late that there were patches of ice everywhere. As I turned to enter my usual spot, I lost control of the vehicle, and despite my pleas, praying, and profanity, it glided straight into my boss' car. FML

#18469057
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30178) - you deserved it (4030)

On 12/09/2011 at 3:14pm - work - by charliebravo77 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my car got stolen. While I was standing ten feet away from it. FML

#18440924
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24426) - you deserved it (6469)

On 12/05/2011 at 10:54pm - misc - by smileytheface - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was watching porn when I heard my mom call for me. I closed my laptop right as she walked in my room. The sound, however, kept going. FML

#18428813
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18802) - you deserved it (42230)

On 12/04/2011 at 4:39pm - intimacy - by wowthatwould (man) - United States (Illinois)



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