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FMLs submitted from Illinois

Today, while riding in the car with my mother, we got into an argument, at which point she pulled the vehicle over, took the key out of the ignition and used it to turn off the passenger airbag. She then continued driving in silence. FML

#17526290
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33340) - you deserved it (4479)

On 08/20/2011 at 2:23am - misc - by W1D0 - United States (Illinois)

Today, I'm sitting in a public toilet when a guy kicks the door in and shoves a police badge in my face, screaming for me to tell him "the path of Lemmiwinks". After a whole minute of me shitting my balls off, he bursts into laughter and tells me I've been pranked. I was too embarrassed to report him. FML

#17522944
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28218) - you deserved it (3789)

On 08/19/2011 at 8:23pm - misc - by shitless88 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, the ex I still have feelings for made a post on Facebook announcing her two month anniversary with her boyfriend. She broke up with me less than two weeks ago. FML

#17511125
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38392) - you deserved it (2731)

On 08/18/2011 at 4:25pm - love - by Chels (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was arguing with a friend over whether or not I'm fat. She kept telling me that I was. Angry, I sat down on the chair beside her. It broke. FML

#17428761
268 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28085) - you deserved it (21170)

On 08/10/2011 at 12:12pm - misc - by elvisfreak5446 - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was caught whacking off by my mother. She now takes every free moment of her time to read extracts from the Bible to me. FML

#17362990
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32674) - you deserved it (11446)

On 08/04/2011 at 2:00am - intimacy - by laughingflame - United States (Illinois)

Today, I woke up to my mom washing the dishes completely naked. Sadly, I was more surprised by the fact she was doing the dishes than the fact that that she was strutting about in her birthday suit. FML

#17330120
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31957) - you deserved it (2687)

On 08/01/2011 at 8:55am - intimacy - by notsurprised (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was having horrible morning sickness. I was violently throwing up, could hardly breathe, and was gasping for air between each round of puking. My husband, in the other room playing video games, snapped and shouted, "Why can't you just be quiet?!" FML

#17311021
301 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42074) - you deserved it (6137)

On 07/30/2011 at 5:06pm - health - by Ceej - United States (Illinois)

Today, my mom still hasn't gotten over the novelty of our brand new microwave. We've been eating hot pockets for nearly a week now. FML

#17281268
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25113) - you deserved it (3121)

On 07/27/2011 at 7:45pm - misc - by ladytyy - United States (Illinois)

Today, I discovered I can properly operate the television remote with my feet. I then realized that it is pretty much my only talent. FML

#17280926
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22519) - you deserved it (7866)

On 07/27/2011 at 6:21pm - misc - by supergirl7 - United States (Illinois)

Today, I learned it's best not to piss off your mom when she's cutting your hair. FML

#17275625
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10878) - you deserved it (37169)

On 07/27/2011 at 12:50am - misc - by :( - United States (Illinois)

Today, already knowing that my girlfriend wanted to be "just friends", I invited her over, hoping to change her mind. She was playfully drawing on me with a pen when I noticed she'd written "Emily's property" on my leg. I said "Aw, I'm yours?" She then drew a for-sale sign on me. FML

#17190246
293 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37165) - you deserved it (10700)

On 07/20/2011 at 12:38pm - love - by John (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while I was waitressing, two girls ran up a tab of $60 in drinks. They ended up not paying the bill and walking out. My boss told me it won't be the first time or last, as he made me pay their bill. FML

#17145541
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29284) - you deserved it (2812)

On 07/17/2011 at 3:00am - work - by sfabsits - United States (Illinois)

Today, while working at Subway, a man ordered a sub with avocado. When I told him it was no longer available, he screamed, spit in my face and ran out, pushing over an innocent bystander in the process. FML

#17142025
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31739) - you deserved it (2970)

On 07/16/2011 at 10:46pm - work - by sandwichmaker - United States (Illinois)



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