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FMLs submitted from Illinois

Today, I was given a bottle of vitamins that are supposed to help your memory. I forgot them at home. FML

#19244814
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22983) - you deserved it (4006)

On 03/09/2012 at 10:14am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I texted my boyfriend, and he pretended he was a Burger King employee who found a lost phone, just so that he wouldn't have to talk to me. FML

#19226382
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25679) - you deserved it (4190)

On 03/06/2012 at 8:56am - love - by biggirlsdocry (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my friend and I walked 3 miles to a Starbucks. We went inside, paid for our coffees and walked the 3 miles back to my house. We forgot to pick up our coffees. FML

#19216079
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8397) - you deserved it (42004)

On 03/04/2012 at 7:27pm - money - by stuff2710 - United States (Illinois)

Today, my therapist clapped for me when I told her I'd made a friend. FML

#19195377
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28508) - you deserved it (3655)

On 03/01/2012 at 12:12pm - misc - by ohdang - United States (Illinois)

Today, I realized you should always knock on your parents' door before entering. Even at 6:30 am. FML

#19182227
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15381) - you deserved it (30817)

On 02/28/2012 at 1:55pm - intimacy - by none - United States (Illinois)

Today, my friend and I got into such a heated debate the police had to be called. The debate was about Whitney Houston. FML

#19120522
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7865) - you deserved it (29650)

On 02/20/2012 at 2:41am - misc - by OhMyWhitney - United States (Illinois)

Today, I realized that my fiancé only touches me when he wants to have sex. Any other contact is purely accidental. FML

#19105886
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31256) - you deserved it (4014)

On 02/18/2012 at 7:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, someone peed in my physical education locker. The only way someone could've done it is with a ladder. I'm so popular it hurts. FML

#19084261
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26370) - you deserved it (4852)

On 02/15/2012 at 7:46am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, while sitting on the toilet, I noticed there was no toilet paper left, so I dug through my purse to use my one and only pad as a substitute. It clogged the toilet, and I started my period ten minutes later. FML

#19035174
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32441) - you deserved it (17964)

On 02/09/2012 at 4:42pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I saw my girlfriend at the store and joyfully greeted her. She got really mad at me - it was her identical twin sister, who I still cannot tell apart from my girlfriend. We've been dating for three years. FML

#19018043
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26705) - you deserved it (19556)

On 02/07/2012 at 1:15pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while I was getting ready to take a shower, I placed my phone on the counter next to the toilet. While I was washing my hair, someone called me. My phone was on vibrate, so I didn't hear it until it vibrated off the counter and into the toilet. FML

#18881874
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17135) - you deserved it (29374)

On 01/22/2012 at 5:03pm - misc - by needanewphone - United States (Illinois)

Today, I'm so broke that when I got out of the shower, I had to slowly dry myself off with a ShamWow sample I received in the mail. FML

#18871908
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28292) - you deserved it (4019)

On 01/21/2012 at 3:38pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had to explain to my 65-year-old mother that it is inappropriate for her to walk around in front of me in her underwear. Her response? "Too bad." FML

#18821985
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21085) - you deserved it (12971)

On 01/16/2012 at 3:19am - misc - by appropriatepolice - United States (Illinois)



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