Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from Illinois

Today, I woke up to my mom washing the dishes completely naked. Sadly, I was more surprised by the fact she was doing the dishes than the fact that that she was strutting about in her birthday suit. FML

#17330120
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31787) - you deserved it (2678)

On 08/01/2011 at 8:55am - intimacy - by notsurprised (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was having horrible morning sickness. I was violently throwing up, could hardly breathe, and was gasping for air between each round of puking. My husband, in the other room playing video games, snapped and shouted, "Why can't you just be quiet?!" FML

#17311021
304 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41687) - you deserved it (6108)

On 07/30/2011 at 5:06pm - health - by Ceej - United States (Illinois)

Today, my mom still hasn't gotten over the novelty of our brand new microwave. We've been eating hot pockets for nearly a week now. FML

#17281268
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24970) - you deserved it (3113)

On 07/27/2011 at 7:45pm - misc - by ladytyy - United States (Illinois)

Today, I discovered I can properly operate the television remote with my feet. I then realized that it is pretty much my only talent. FML

#17280926
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22375) - you deserved it (7852)

On 07/27/2011 at 6:21pm - misc - by supergirl7 - United States (Illinois)

Today, I learned it's best not to piss off your mom when she's cutting your hair. FML

#17275625
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10811) - you deserved it (37041)

On 07/27/2011 at 12:50am - misc - by :( - United States (Illinois)

Today, already knowing that my girlfriend wanted to be "just friends", I invited her over, hoping to change her mind. She was playfully drawing on me with a pen when I noticed she'd written "Emily's property" on my leg. I said "Aw, I'm yours?" She then drew a for-sale sign on me. FML

#17190246
293 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37022) - you deserved it (10677)

On 07/20/2011 at 12:38pm - love - by John (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while I was waitressing, two girls ran up a tab of $60 in drinks. They ended up not paying the bill and walking out. My boss told me it won't be the first time or last, as he made me pay their bill. FML

#17145541
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29123) - you deserved it (2809)

On 07/17/2011 at 3:00am - work - by sfabsits - United States (Illinois)

Today, while working at Subway, a man ordered a sub with avocado. When I told him it was no longer available, he screamed, spit in my face and ran out, pushing over an innocent bystander in the process. FML

#17142025
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30964) - you deserved it (2923)

On 07/16/2011 at 10:46pm - work - by sandwichmaker - United States (Illinois)

Today, I caught a cab to take me to a hospital appointment. The driver turned around and told me I was in the Cash Cab. I got really excited and screamed. That is, until she laughed and said, "Just kidding. I always wanted to do that to someone." FML

#17128085
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34828) - you deserved it (8408)

On 07/15/2011 at 10:06pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, at a family reunion, my dad announced to everyone that I'd finally started my menstrual cycle. My grandmother started sobbing hysterically. FML

#17092331
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38634) - you deserved it (2637)

On 07/13/2011 at 9:31am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I saw a turtle on the road so I swerved, and hit a tree. The people behind me then hit the turtle. FML

#17078585
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33182) - you deserved it (11019)

On 07/12/2011 at 9:26am - misc - by turtle - United States (Illinois)

Today, I updated my facebook status to, "Party at my house this Friday. Like my status if you want to come." After about 3 hours I checked back to discover that the only person who'd liked my status was my grandma. FML

#17074594
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36005) - you deserved it (9345)

On 07/12/2011 at 12:40am - misc - by _Emilyy - United States (Illinois)

Today, my family got together to read my grandpa's will. He gave all of his grandkids $400 each. Except me. It seems he thought I'd see the funny side in being bequeathed a blow-up sex doll. FML

#17027029
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35945) - you deserved it (4630)

On 07/08/2011 at 11:10am - intimacy - by Jack - United States (Illinois)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: