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FMLs submitted from Illinois

Today, my extremely in-shape boyfriend told me he hasn't had a chance to work out lately. I jokingly poked him in the belly saying he's getting chunky and winked. He burst into tears. FML

#16871149
292 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19951) - you deserved it (31791)

On 06/26/2011 at 9:08pm - health - by kaplwv116 - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got mugged. As the guys who took my purse were about to walk away, my cellphone rang in my pocket. FML

#16812585
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34914) - you deserved it (2671)

On 06/23/2011 at 4:54am - money - by alo1434 (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my mom sold our electronic stuff to pay for hurricane shutters. We live in Chicago. FML

#16801509
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25379) - you deserved it (1905)

On 06/22/2011 at 4:05pm - money - by knevs - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went to the movies with my friend and two pretty girls. During the movie, he made out with both of them, while I sat there awkwardly and watched the movie. FML

#16727847
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40744) - you deserved it (5162)

On 06/18/2011 at 11:43am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was almost done getting ready for a really big date, when I heard my dad call for help from outside. I rushed downstairs and out the door, only to be ambushed and showered by my father with the garden hose. FML

#16714165
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29334) - you deserved it (3535)

On 06/17/2011 at 3:58pm - love - by anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out that as a supervisor, if you reprimand a female worker and end the conversation with "Now get back to making sandwiches." your boss will consider it sexism and suspend you. I work at Subway. FML

#16589228
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46330) - you deserved it (7240)

On 06/10/2011 at 1:01am - work - by MakeMeASandwich (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I gave my husband an ultimatum: either he could have sex with me or play Minecraft. Needless to say, he spent the rest of the evening playing Minecraft. FML

#16467610
384 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34478) - you deserved it (12645)

On 06/02/2011 at 12:52pm - intimacy - by minecraftwilldie - United States (Illinois)

Today, my only motivation to get out of bed was cupcakes in the refrigerator. FML

#16416160
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26489) - you deserved it (14541)

On 05/30/2011 at 10:59am - health - by skigal24 - United States (Illinois)

Today, I noticed my hidden porn folder on my laptop had been renamed to "LOL". I live with my teenage daughter, and no one else. FML

#16383481
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13516) - you deserved it (53473)

On 05/28/2011 at 5:24am - intimacy - by redhanded (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was so lonely that I was comforted by the sound of mice running through the walls of my apartment. I left cheese and peanut butter out for them to find so that I could at least have a pet for company. FML

#16338275
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29245) - you deserved it (8754)

On 05/25/2011 at 1:28am - misc - by Anon (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was driving back home with my mom when we saw two squirrels having sex in the road. I told her to just honk the horn. She said that I was being selfish, that sex is a beautiful thing, and that we should let them finish. We sat there for at least five minutes. FML

#16287224
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39734) - you deserved it (5390)

On 05/21/2011 at 9:00pm - intimacy - by squirrels69ing (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, for the first time all month I felt truly proud and accomplished. I finally figured out how to change the toilet seat. FML

#16246614
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8464) - you deserved it (14434)

On 05/18/2011 at 11:48pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went to my phone company and had my text history pulled. Why? Because a few days ago my 4 year old daughter told me that, "Daddy has a wife and a girlfriend." Turns out she was right. FML

#16176534
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41689) - you deserved it (3766)

On 05/14/2011 at 7:35pm - love - by Clueless (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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