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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FMLs submitted from Illinois

Today, my fiancé and I decided to have a romantic rendezvous on the trampoline in our backyard. Or at least it was romantic, until I accidentally rolled off and all but crushed our dog. FML

#19301320
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11494) - you deserved it (17729)

On 03/18/2012 at 3:18pm - love - by Jacklyn - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was walking to a café with my soon-to-be boss. While crossing a busy street, I slipped in a puddle and accidentally grabbed his junk to catch myself. FML

#19299897
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29010) - you deserved it (3148)

On 03/18/2012 at 11:04am - work - by cachucy - United States (Illinois)

Today, I still have the bronchitis and the stomach flu that I suffered through all weekend. Today was to be the day I had my bachelorette party and wedding shower. I had to call both of them off. FML

#19264190
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25666) - you deserved it (2121)

On 03/12/2012 at 12:45pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I became a father. Unfortunately, my wife found out. FML

#19253868
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10139) - you deserved it (149223)

On 03/10/2012 at 9:16pm - misc - by Major3 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was talking to my girlfriend over Skype. I said I loved her and hoped we would be together forever. She responded by singing Who Wants to Live Forever into her mic. FML

#19250645
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19682) - you deserved it (3662)

On 03/10/2012 at 10:16am - love - by callen5 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was given a bottle of vitamins that are supposed to help your memory. I forgot them at home. FML

#19244814
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22953) - you deserved it (4005)

On 03/09/2012 at 10:14am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I texted my boyfriend, and he pretended he was a Burger King employee who found a lost phone, just so that he wouldn't have to talk to me. FML

#19226382
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25642) - you deserved it (4189)

On 03/06/2012 at 8:56am - love - by biggirlsdocry (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my friend and I walked 3 miles to a Starbucks. We went inside, paid for our coffees and walked the 3 miles back to my house. We forgot to pick up our coffees. FML

#19216079
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8386) - you deserved it (41967)

On 03/04/2012 at 7:27pm - money - by stuff2710 - United States (Illinois)

Today, my therapist clapped for me when I told her I'd made a friend. FML

#19195377
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28138) - you deserved it (3615)

On 03/01/2012 at 12:12pm - misc - by ohdang - United States (Illinois)

Today, I realized you should always knock on your parents' door before entering. Even at 6:30 am. FML

#19182227
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15352) - you deserved it (30782)

On 02/28/2012 at 1:55pm - intimacy - by none - United States (Illinois)

Today, my friend and I got into such a heated debate the police had to be called. The debate was about Whitney Houston. FML

#19120522
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7852) - you deserved it (29613)

On 02/20/2012 at 2:41am - misc - by OhMyWhitney - United States (Illinois)

Today, I realized that my fiancé only touches me when he wants to have sex. Any other contact is purely accidental. FML

#19105886
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28782) - you deserved it (3774)

On 02/18/2012 at 7:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, someone peed in my physical education locker. The only way someone could've done it is with a ladder. I'm so popular it hurts. FML

#19084261
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26330) - you deserved it (4850)

On 02/15/2012 at 7:46am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)



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