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FMLs submitted from Illinois

Today, I went caroling with some family friends. We got pelted with oranges. FML

#18585273
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15279) - you deserved it (19716)

On 12/23/2011 at 12:53am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, on my first day of work, I got fired after 45 minutes. FML

#18572874
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24613) - you deserved it (16071)

On 12/21/2011 at 7:07pm - work - by Tey - United States (Illinois)

Today, my mother told me I looked like a hooker in my wedding dress. Thanks mommy. FML

#18551023
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33170) - you deserved it (6442)

On 12/19/2011 at 2:55am - intimacy - by mo (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I ordered a pizza. I paid and tipped the pizza guy, and instead of saying goodbye, I got tongue-tied and said, "I love you, boo." FML

#18546937
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13750) - you deserved it (26475)

On 12/18/2011 at 6:36pm - misc - by Musicfreak (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, after getting rear ended by a car, I texted my husband to let him know I was in the hospital. His response? "I'm at Taco Bell." FML

#18515573
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28374) - you deserved it (2985)

On 12/14/2011 at 10:34pm - misc - by Mariah Heimann - United States (Illinois)

Today, my creepy, stalker ex-girlfriend was given an anonymous love letter. She's convinced it's from me. FML

#18479252
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27185) - you deserved it (2483)

On 12/10/2011 at 8:01pm - love - by DJ - United States (Illinois)

Today, I drove into the parking lot at work, and discovered too late that there were patches of ice everywhere. As I turned to enter my usual spot, I lost control of the vehicle, and despite my pleas, praying, and profanity, it glided straight into my boss' car. FML

#18469057
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29008) - you deserved it (3892)

On 12/09/2011 at 3:14pm - work - by charliebravo77 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my car got stolen. While I was standing ten feet away from it. FML

#18440924
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24206) - you deserved it (6441)

On 12/05/2011 at 10:54pm - misc - by smileytheface - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was watching porn when I heard my mom call for me. I closed my laptop right as she walked in my room. The sound, however, kept going. FML

#18428813
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18714) - you deserved it (42008)

On 12/04/2011 at 4:39pm - intimacy - by wowthatwould (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my husband and I went to my overbearing mom's 57th birthday party. He opened his gift in front of her and said smugly, "The makeup's for your face, and the prayer book's for the fat rolls." Any hope of family peace is now lost. FML

#18414489
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21637) - you deserved it (3184)

On 12/02/2011 at 8:35pm - love - by bad blood, no shit (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend picked me up bridal-style to carry me to our bed. As he carried me through the bedroom door, the dog ran between his legs and sent us both crashing to the ground. FML

#18368506
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22211) - you deserved it (3090)

On 11/27/2011 at 5:46pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, my neighbors coated their house in flashing Christmas lights and blared out "We Wish You a Merry Christmas" all day long. Only 29 days left until Christmas. FML

#18358726
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23488) - you deserved it (2894)

On 11/26/2011 at 6:10pm - misc - by Me - United States (Illinois)

Today, a freshman set off the fire alarm in my dorm at 2 a.m. He tried to microwave Easy Mac without adding water. I had to stand outside for 45 minutes while the firemen moved the noodles to the sink and ran cold water over them. FML

#18325691
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23986) - you deserved it (1970)

On 11/23/2011 at 10:38am - misc - by CRC (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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