Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from Illinois

Today, I realized my tampon goes deeper than my boyfriend. FML

#17786255
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50658) - you deserved it (6077)

On 09/20/2011 at 3:45am - intimacy - by Cantgetno (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, on my way to a concert, some guy told me I had cool sunglasses. I was about to thank him until he punched me in the face. I woke up with no sunglasses and no ticket. FML

Today, I was at Wal-Mart walking around when I slipped on some water and twisted my ankle. As I was getting up, a man comes up to me and said "There's some water on the floor, watch out." FML

#17770342
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24754) - you deserved it (3044)

On 09/18/2011 at 5:20am - misc - by yeahhhhhommmie (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I walked into my dorm to find my roommate and his friends using my bass clarinet to smoke weed. FML

#17742835
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31537) - you deserved it (5180)

On 09/14/2011 at 7:06am - misc - by funnymanjoe - United States (Illinois)

Today, my social anxiety got so bad that I'm now afraid to add people on Facebook. FML

#17686086
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24450) - you deserved it (6382)

On 09/07/2011 at 1:23am - health - by pottie69 - United States (Illinois)

Today, my wife told our six year old daughter that the devil beats his wife whenever there's a rainbow. Now she won't stop crying. FML

#17635834
294 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32748) - you deserved it (3642)

On 09/01/2011 at 2:02pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while at the grocery store an elderly woman farted very loudly next to me. Everyone in the aisle looked our way. The woman pointed at me, and left the aisle. I received many disgusted looks from children and their parents. FML

#17555349
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28850) - you deserved it (2475)

On 08/23/2011 at 3:14am - misc - by kykynevs - United States (Illinois)

Today, my mom let it slip that she was divorcing my dad. After making me promise to keep it from him and my little sisters, she had me help her with her plans to renovate the house. She intends to kick him out once it's done. FML

#17547423
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28132) - you deserved it (2309)

On 08/22/2011 at 12:06pm - love - by kris (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while riding in the car with my mother, we got into an argument, at which point she pulled the vehicle over, took the key out of the ignition and used it to turn off the passenger airbag. She then continued driving in silence. FML

#17526290
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33198) - you deserved it (4466)

On 08/20/2011 at 2:23am - misc - by W1D0 - United States (Illinois)

Today, I'm sitting in a public toilet when a guy kicks the door in and shoves a police badge in my face, screaming for me to tell him "the path of Lemmiwinks". After a whole minute of me shitting my balls off, he bursts into laughter and tells me I've been pranked. I was too embarrassed to report him. FML

#17522944
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27113) - you deserved it (3667)

On 08/19/2011 at 8:23pm - misc - by shitless88 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, the ex I still have feelings for made a post on Facebook announcing her two month anniversary with her boyfriend. She broke up with me less than two weeks ago. FML

#17511125
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37849) - you deserved it (2691)

On 08/18/2011 at 4:25pm - love - by Chels (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was arguing with a friend over whether or not I'm fat. She kept telling me that I was. Angry, I sat down on the chair beside her. It broke. FML

#17428761
265 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27191) - you deserved it (20688)

On 08/10/2011 at 12:12pm - misc - by elvisfreak5446 - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was caught whacking off by my mother. She now takes every free moment of her time to read extracts from the Bible to me. FML

#17362990
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32493) - you deserved it (11409)

On 08/04/2011 at 2:00am - intimacy - by laughingflame - United States (Illinois)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: