Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from Illinois

Today, I'm so broke that when I got out of the shower, I had to slowly dry myself off with a ShamWow sample I received in the mail. FML

#18871908
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28122) - you deserved it (4001)

On 01/21/2012 at 3:38pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had to explain to my 65-year-old mother that it is inappropriate for her to walk around in front of me in her underwear. Her response? "Too bad." FML

#18821985
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19490) - you deserved it (12478)

On 01/16/2012 at 3:19am - misc - by appropriatepolice - United States (Illinois)

Today, my parents tried to convince me to get a divorce. My wife and I are perfectly fine. FML

#18754644
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28162) - you deserved it (2311)

On 01/09/2012 at 4:08am - love - by rook - United States (Illinois)

Today, I tried exercising. My whole house shook. FML

#18691343
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24704) - you deserved it (12834)

On 01/02/2012 at 10:47pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out that I've been using a "Trick Scale" that my family bought to boost my self esteem so I'd think I was losing weight. I found this out at my physical, where I learned I have actually gained ten pounds. FML

#18631764
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26197) - you deserved it (4209)

On 12/28/2011 at 2:57am - health - by Fatty - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went on a date with a guy I've had a crush on for a while. I shaved my legs and armpits and wore a short dress. It wasn't until I got to the meeting that I noticed I only shaved one of my legs. FML

#18593326
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29161) - you deserved it (15968)

On 12/23/2011 at 10:22pm - love - by bigmistake - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went caroling with some family friends. We got pelted with oranges. FML

#18585273
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15294) - you deserved it (19727)

On 12/23/2011 at 12:53am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, on my first day of work, I got fired after 45 minutes. FML

#18572874
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24623) - you deserved it (16079)

On 12/21/2011 at 7:07pm - work - by Tey - United States (Illinois)

Today, my mother told me I looked like a hooker in my wedding dress. Thanks mommy. FML

#18551023
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33192) - you deserved it (6445)

On 12/19/2011 at 2:55am - intimacy - by mo (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I ordered a pizza. I paid and tipped the pizza guy, and instead of saying goodbye, I got tongue-tied and said, "I love you, boo." FML

#18546937
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13759) - you deserved it (26502)

On 12/18/2011 at 6:36pm - misc - by Musicfreak (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, after getting rear ended by a car, I texted my husband to let him know I was in the hospital. His response? "I'm at Taco Bell." FML

#18515573
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28395) - you deserved it (2987)

On 12/14/2011 at 10:34pm - misc - by Mariah Heimann - United States (Illinois)

Today, my creepy, stalker ex-girlfriend was given an anonymous love letter. She's convinced it's from me. FML

#18479252
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27213) - you deserved it (2483)

On 12/10/2011 at 8:01pm - love - by DJ - United States (Illinois)

Today, I drove into the parking lot at work, and discovered too late that there were patches of ice everywhere. As I turned to enter my usual spot, I lost control of the vehicle, and despite my pleas, praying, and profanity, it glided straight into my boss' car. FML

#18469057
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29024) - you deserved it (3894)

On 12/09/2011 at 3:14pm - work - by charliebravo77 (man) - United States (Illinois)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: