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FMLs submitted from Illinois

Today, my parents tried to convince me to get a divorce. My wife and I are perfectly fine. FML

#18754644
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27127) - you deserved it (2214)

On 01/09/2012 at 4:08am - love - by rook - United States (Illinois)

Today, I tried exercising. My whole house shook. FML

#18691343
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24647) - you deserved it (12820)

On 01/02/2012 at 10:47pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out that I've been using a "Trick Scale" that my family bought to boost my self esteem so I'd think I was losing weight. I found this out at my physical, where I learned I have actually gained ten pounds. FML

#18631764
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26131) - you deserved it (4206)

On 12/28/2011 at 2:57am - health - by Fatty - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went on a date with a guy I've had a crush on for a while. I shaved my legs and armpits and wore a short dress. It wasn't until I got to the meeting that I noticed I only shaved one of my legs. FML

#18593326
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29109) - you deserved it (15948)

On 12/23/2011 at 10:22pm - love - by bigmistake - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went caroling with some family friends. We got pelted with oranges. FML

#18585273
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15262) - you deserved it (19700)

On 12/23/2011 at 12:53am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, on my first day of work, I got fired after 45 minutes. FML

#18572874
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23826) - you deserved it (15703)

On 12/21/2011 at 7:07pm - work - by Tey - United States (Illinois)

Today, my mother told me I looked like a hooker in my wedding dress. Thanks mommy. FML

#18551023
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33140) - you deserved it (6435)

On 12/19/2011 at 2:55am - intimacy - by mo (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I ordered a pizza. I paid and tipped the pizza guy, and instead of saying goodbye, I got tongue-tied and said, "I love you, boo." FML

#18546937
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13738) - you deserved it (26447)

On 12/18/2011 at 6:36pm - misc - by Musicfreak (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, after getting rear ended by a car, I texted my husband to let him know I was in the hospital. His response? "I'm at Taco Bell." FML

#18515573
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27539) - you deserved it (2912)

On 12/14/2011 at 10:34pm - misc - by Mariah Heimann - United States (Illinois)

Today, my creepy, stalker ex-girlfriend was given an anonymous love letter. She's convinced it's from me. FML

#18479252
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27155) - you deserved it (2479)

On 12/10/2011 at 8:01pm - love - by DJ - United States (Illinois)

Today, I drove into the parking lot at work, and discovered too late that there were patches of ice everywhere. As I turned to enter my usual spot, I lost control of the vehicle, and despite my pleas, praying, and profanity, it glided straight into my boss' car. FML

#18469057
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28095) - you deserved it (3798)

On 12/09/2011 at 3:14pm - work - by charliebravo77 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my car got stolen. While I was standing ten feet away from it. FML

#18440924
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24176) - you deserved it (6433)

On 12/05/2011 at 10:54pm - misc - by smileytheface - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was watching porn when I heard my mom call for me. I closed my laptop right as she walked in my room. The sound, however, kept going. FML

#18428813
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18695) - you deserved it (41972)

On 12/04/2011 at 4:39pm - intimacy - by wowthatwould (man) - United States (Illinois)



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