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FMLs submitted from Illinois

Today, while sitting on the toilet, I noticed there was no toilet paper left, so I dug through my purse to use my one and only pad as a substitute. It clogged the toilet, and I started my period ten minutes later. FML

#19035174
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30910) - you deserved it (17258)

On 02/09/2012 at 4:42pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I saw my girlfriend at the store and joyfully greeted her. She got really mad at me - it was her identical twin sister, who I still cannot tell apart from my girlfriend. We've been dating for three years. FML

#19018043
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24394) - you deserved it (18764)

On 02/07/2012 at 1:15pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while I was getting ready to take a shower, I placed my phone on the counter next to the toilet. While I was washing my hair, someone called me. My phone was on vibrate, so I didn't hear it until it vibrated off the counter and into the toilet. FML

#18881874
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16199) - you deserved it (27944)

On 01/22/2012 at 5:03pm - misc - by needanewphone - United States (Illinois)

Today, I'm so broke that when I got out of the shower, I had to slowly dry myself off with a ShamWow sample I received in the mail. FML

#18871908
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28046) - you deserved it (3993)

On 01/21/2012 at 3:38pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had to explain to my 65-year-old mother that it is inappropriate for her to walk around in front of me in her underwear. Her response? "Too bad." FML

#18821985
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18924) - you deserved it (12291)

On 01/16/2012 at 3:19am - misc - by appropriatepolice - United States (Illinois)

Today, my parents tried to convince me to get a divorce. My wife and I are perfectly fine. FML

#18754644
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27102) - you deserved it (2213)

On 01/09/2012 at 4:08am - love - by rook - United States (Illinois)

Today, I tried exercising. My whole house shook. FML

#18691343
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24616) - you deserved it (12810)

On 01/02/2012 at 10:47pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out that I've been using a "Trick Scale" that my family bought to boost my self esteem so I'd think I was losing weight. I found this out at my physical, where I learned I have actually gained ten pounds. FML

#18631764
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26095) - you deserved it (4204)

On 12/28/2011 at 2:57am - health - by Fatty - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went on a date with a guy I've had a crush on for a while. I shaved my legs and armpits and wore a short dress. It wasn't until I got to the meeting that I noticed I only shaved one of my legs. FML

#18593326
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29079) - you deserved it (15942)

On 12/23/2011 at 10:22pm - love - by bigmistake - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went caroling with some family friends. We got pelted with oranges. FML

#18585273
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15238) - you deserved it (19686)

On 12/23/2011 at 12:53am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, on my first day of work, I got fired after 45 minutes. FML

#18572874
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23795) - you deserved it (15692)

On 12/21/2011 at 7:07pm - work - by Tey - United States (Illinois)

Today, my mother told me I looked like a hooker in my wedding dress. Thanks mommy. FML

#18551023
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33104) - you deserved it (6435)

On 12/19/2011 at 2:55am - intimacy - by mo (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I ordered a pizza. I paid and tipped the pizza guy, and instead of saying goodbye, I got tongue-tied and said, "I love you, boo." FML

#18546937
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13724) - you deserved it (26423)

On 12/18/2011 at 6:36pm - misc - by Musicfreak (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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