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FMLs submitted from Illinois

Today, I went to a concert. One of my favorite bands was performing, and I'd had the ticket for seven months, with a great seat for the show. It was all going perfectly, that is until a guy twice my height sat in front of me. FML

#19781971
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21948) - you deserved it (1759)

On 06/13/2012 at 12:58pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, after having sex with my girlfriend, I jokingly held the condom above my mouth. Somehow, the condom busted, and everything went over my face. Worse still, we're now wondering just how safe this condom really was. FML

#19743887
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13740) - you deserved it (36940)

On 06/06/2012 at 12:02pm - intimacy - by Rob (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, an extremely hot police officer reprimanded me. It was pretty awkward considering she stopped me because of public urination. FML

#19691249
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5101) - you deserved it (28283)

On 05/27/2012 at 11:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I woke up after a long night of trying to catch a moth. I'd knocked down furniture and screamed up the house to do so, but I finally got it. What did I see first thing this morning? Another moth. FML

#19621354
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8257) - you deserved it (19306)

On 05/14/2012 at 8:40am - misc - by foreverDark - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out that my husband is the biological father of my baby sister. FML

#19603084
408 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57193) - you deserved it (3097)

On 05/10/2012 at 4:17pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I shut my finger in the car door. The door locked. Then I dropped the keys on the ground and couldn't reach them. FML

#19579896
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29804) - you deserved it (2507)

On 05/06/2012 at 12:09am - health - by catherineratley - United States (Illinois)

Today, after weeks of intense studying with the intent of pulling my grades up, I saw that in fact, they've all gone down. FML

#19573690
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20429) - you deserved it (2832)

On 05/04/2012 at 5:09pm - misc - by Rae - United States (Illinois)

Today, I realized I have more in common with a cantaloupe than I do with my boyfriend. FML

#19562059
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18881) - you deserved it (4469)

On 05/02/2012 at 2:16am - love - by muddled (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was walking down the street, when an aging lady bumped into me and fell over. I helped her up and she thanked me for being "such a nice young man". It was only an hour later as I was in line at the store that I realized she had pickpocketed me of my wallet. FML

#19539590
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26254) - you deserved it (2118)

On 04/27/2012 at 9:55pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I left my number on my receipt for a cute waitress. As I was leaving the bar, she came running out and called me over. I obviously got excited. Turns out I'd forgotten to sign my slip. FML

#19516000
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9936) - you deserved it (17792)

On 04/23/2012 at 9:22am - love - by Dave (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend said he was going to give me breakfast in bed before he left. He walked over, threw some granola bars on the bed next to me and left. FML

#19505395
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22972) - you deserved it (3584)

On 04/21/2012 at 9:04am - love - by still hungry - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was at a party, when the cops busted us. Since I'm underage, I hid behind a chair for an hour and a half while they breathalyzed everyone and sat them in the same room I was in. The cops left, everyone realized I was behind the chair, and now my nickname is "Anne Frank". FML

#19455929
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14457) - you deserved it (34335)

On 04/12/2012 at 2:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was stopped and searched by a cop, and he quickly found the bag of weed in my pocket. He didn't arrest or fine me, but he did confiscate my weed and told me to "get lost." Pretty sure I just got legally mugged. FML

#19449472
462 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13867) - you deserved it (36195)

On 04/11/2012 at 12:25pm - misc - by erockinthesuburb (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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