Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from Illinois

Today, I went to the beach with a friend. We'd forgotten to get our towels out of the SUV, so I rushed back to the parking lot. I opened the passenger-side door and climbed in to begin my search. After ten seconds or so, I realized I'd busted into someone else's car. FML

#19954637
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16978) - you deserved it (5646)

On 07/18/2012 at 1:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out my home health patient purposely drinks tons of prune juice every night so I will have a huge mess to clean up in the morning because I'm "a lazy bastard" and I "need to work harder." FML

#19885470
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21799) - you deserved it (2295)

On 07/03/2012 at 11:08am - work - by melikeyturtles - United States (Illinois)

Today, a cop turned his lights and siren on to pull me over. I pulled into a parking lot and got a ticket. It wasn't until the cop pulled away that I realized that I'd pulled into, and interrupted, an on-going funeral visitation. FML

#19847830
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17500) - you deserved it (4126)

On 06/25/2012 at 11:26pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, after careful consideration, I told my wife I really want to have kids. She laughed, until she finally realized I was serious, at which point she flicked me in the balls and said, "Problem solved." FML

#19818500
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19274) - you deserved it (2263)

On 06/20/2012 at 12:41pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got into a huge fight with a girl at school. My mom and dad decided to punish me by letting my three older brothers pick out my wardrobe for the next week. FML

#19812569
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20490) - you deserved it (14150)

On 06/19/2012 at 12:38pm - misc - by Shelby - United States (Illinois)

Today, I decided to motivate myself to workout by looking at a picture of a guy with a six-pack on my computer screen while doing abs. My dad walked in after I finished and was still breathing heavily from working out. FML

#19795313
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21077) - you deserved it (6129)

On 06/16/2012 at 1:45am - misc - by NotGay (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went to a concert. One of my favorite bands was performing, and I'd had the ticket for seven months, with a great seat for the show. It was all going perfectly, that is until a guy twice my height sat in front of me. FML

#19781971
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19745) - you deserved it (1593)

On 06/13/2012 at 12:58pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, after having sex with my girlfriend, I jokingly held the condom above my mouth. Somehow, the condom busted, and everything went over my face. Worse still, we're now wondering just how safe this condom really was. FML

#19743887
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12255) - you deserved it (34262)

On 06/06/2012 at 12:02pm - intimacy - by Rob (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, an extremely hot police officer reprimanded me. It was pretty awkward considering she stopped me because of public urination. FML

#19691249
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (3597) - you deserved it (19663)

On 05/27/2012 at 11:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I woke up after a long night of trying to catch a moth. I'd knocked down furniture and screamed up the house to do so, but I finally got it. What did I see first thing this morning? Another moth. FML

#19621354
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7068) - you deserved it (16815)

On 05/14/2012 at 8:40am - misc - by foreverDark - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out that my husband is the biological father of my baby sister. FML

#19603084
408 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55167) - you deserved it (2954)

On 05/10/2012 at 4:17pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I shut my finger in the car door. The door locked. Then I dropped the keys on the ground and couldn't reach them. FML

#19579896
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24872) - you deserved it (1797)

On 05/06/2012 at 12:09am - health - by catherineratley - United States (Illinois)

Today, after weeks of intense studying with the intent of pulling my grades up, I saw that in fact, they've all gone down. FML

#19573690
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19207) - you deserved it (2699)

On 05/04/2012 at 5:09pm - misc - by Rae - United States (Illinois)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: