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FMLs submitted from Illinois

Today, I had to quickly back out of a Skype call between me and three coworkers because my fiancée came home from work in tears. When things had calmed down, I re-entered the call to find them unaware I had returned, saying how glad they were I had left because they all secretly despise me. FML

#21476862
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25013) - you deserved it (1936)

On 10/06/2015 at 3:58pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, thanks to the terrible carpool planning of one of my friends, I had the pleasure of driving both of my ex-boyfriends to homecoming. Neither one of them knew that I had dated the other, but they sure do now. FML

#21476041
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21139) - you deserved it (3732)

On 10/04/2015 at 1:51pm - love - by badplannning (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I took my boyfriend to dinner to meet my parents. He agreed to be on his best behavior, but when my mom told us about some shady stuff going on at her job, he replied that it sounded "fishier than Justin Bieber's cunt." We were quickly kicked out. FML

#21475453
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21866) - you deserved it (3983)

On 10/02/2015 at 5:45pm - love - by FML (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had to listen to my coworker complain about how working 19 hours a week leaves her with no time to go to the doctor and get her bronchitis treated. Meanwhile I work 40 hours a week, as well as doing 18 credit hours at school, and she refuses to cover her mouth. FML

#21472594
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25058) - you deserved it (1621)

On 09/25/2015 at 1:47pm - work - by sobusy (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my cat still loves me too much. He schedules his dumps for when I'm doing my makeup in the bathroom so he can stay with me. I either have to suffer the noxious odor or be late for work. This is a daily thing. FML

Today, I was taking a bath after a long day at work. I closed my eyes and listened to music. My cat thought this was the perfect time to come out of his hiding spot and jump in the bath. Once he realized it was filled with water, he freaked out and dug his claws into my face. FML

#21471347
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24196) - you deserved it (2150)

On 09/22/2015 at 6:51am - animals - by lyssthemiss - United States (Illinois)

Today, my mother-in-law got her driver's license, despite being prone to fainting, seizures, and being on so much medication that she sometimes forgets where she is. She now wants to drive us to all our family functions, and my father-in-law won't object because he doesn't want to damage her self-esteem. FML

Today, at work, one of the elderly residents dropped a turd on the floor. I went to go get the nurse but couldn't find her. Upon returning to the scene, another resident picked it up and placed it in my hand, thinking it was mud. Now my nickname at work is 'Nugget'. FML

#21462428
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21636) - you deserved it (1738)

On 08/30/2015 at 2:20am - work - by anon - United States (Illinois)

Today, my mom saw a picture of the moon and asked me what "those big spots" were. She actually thought the craters were continents and tried correcting me when I told her what they were. Then I almost got into trouble for being disrespectful. FML

#21462353
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21122) - you deserved it (1373)

On 08/29/2015 at 11:02pm - misc - by bornfromhillbillies (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got a phone call letting me know my grandmother was arrested for trying to light my grandpa on fire. She's now in jail, asking for bail money. FML

#21461945
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24396) - you deserved it (1453)

On 08/29/2015 at 12:29am - misc - by tkoester - United States (Illinois)

Today, I woke up from a dream in which my girlfriend gave birth to a litter of puppies. I can't even look at her now without getting nauseous. FML

#21459180
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23522) - you deserved it (2883)

On 08/22/2015 at 3:30am - animals - by yooitscallo (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, a woman at the retirement home I work at told me she was new and asked me a few questions. I asked her when she moved in. She was a new coworker, not a new resident. FML

#21457683
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14415) - you deserved it (12398)

On 08/18/2015 at 5:08pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was telling my dad how my boyfriend dumped me yesterday. He responded by blowing his nose into his hand, wiping it in my hair, then saying "There, a REAL problem to whine about." FML

#21457532
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24357) - you deserved it (2671)

On 08/18/2015 at 8:34am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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