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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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FMLs submitted from Illinois

Today, while sitting on the toilet, I noticed there was no toilet paper left, so I dug through my purse to use my one and only pad as a substitute. It clogged the toilet, and I started my period ten minutes later. FML

#19035174 (193)

I agree, your life sucks (6505) - you deserved it (3975)

On 02/09/2012 at 4:42pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I saw my girlfriend at the store and joyfully greeted her. She got really mad at me - it was her identical twin sister, who I still cannot tell apart from my girlfriend. We've been dating for three years. FML

#19018043 (176)

I agree, your life sucks (6004) - you deserved it (3847)

On 02/07/2012 at 1:15pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while I was getting ready to take a shower, I placed my phone on the counter next to the toilet. While I was washing my hair, someone called me. My phone was on vibrate, so I didn't hear it until it vibrated off the counter and into the toilet. FML

#18881874 (273)

I agree, your life sucks (4226) - you deserved it (7162)

On 01/22/2012 at 5:03pm - misc - by needanewphone - United States (Illinois)

Today, I'm so broke that when I got out of the shower, I had to slowly dry myself off with a ShamWow sample I received in the mail. FML

#18871908 (223)

I agree, your life sucks (7747) - you deserved it (1085)

On 01/21/2012 at 3:38pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had to explain to my 65-year-old mother that it is inappropriate for her to walk around in front of me in her underwear. Her response? "Too bad." FML

#18821985 (126)

I agree, your life sucks (3848) - you deserved it (3902)

On 01/16/2012 at 3:19am - misc - by appropriatepolice - United States (Illinois)

Today, my parents tried to convince me to get a divorce. My wife and I are perfectly fine. FML

#18754644 (111)

I agree, your life sucks (7624) - you deserved it (692)

On 01/09/2012 at 4:08am - love - by rook - United States (Illinois)

Today, I tried exercising. My whole house shook. FML

#18691343 (216)

I agree, your life sucks (16247) - you deserved it (8192)

On 01/02/2012 at 10:47pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out that I've been using a "Trick Scale" that my family bought to boost my self esteem so I'd think I was losing weight. I found this out at my physical, where I learned I have actually gained ten pounds. FML

#18631764 (102)

I agree, your life sucks (7683) - you deserved it (1158)

On 12/28/2011 at 2:57am - health - by Fatty - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went on a date with a guy I've had a crush on for a while. I shaved my legs and armpits and wore a short dress. It wasn't until I got to the meeting that I noticed I only shaved one of my legs. FML

#18593326 (131)

I agree, your life sucks (8854) - you deserved it (4504)

On 12/23/2011 at 10:22pm - love - by bigmistake - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went caroling with some family friends. We got pelted with oranges. FML

#18585273 (123)

I agree, your life sucks (10656) - you deserved it (12724)

On 12/23/2011 at 12:53am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, on my first day of work, I got fired after 45 minutes. FML

#18572874 (156)

I agree, your life sucks (17508) - you deserved it (10230)

On 12/21/2011 at 7:07pm - work - by Tey - United States (Illinois)

Today, my mother told me I looked like a hooker in my wedding dress. Thanks mommy. FML

#18551023 (170)

I agree, your life sucks (22950) - you deserved it (4318)

On 12/19/2011 at 2:55am - intimacy - by mo (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I ordered a pizza. I paid and tipped the pizza guy, and instead of saying goodbye, I got tongue-tied and said, "I love you, boo." FML

#18546937 (176)

I agree, your life sucks (3869) - you deserved it (7213)

On 12/18/2011 at 6:36pm - misc - by Musicfreak (woman) - United States (Illinois)