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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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FMLs submitted from Ile-de-France

Today, my girlfriend woefully admitted that she thinks of me more as a brother than as a boyfriend, all while I was still inside her. FML

#18927018 (261)

I agree, your life sucks (8323) - you deserved it (634)

On 01/27/2012 at 5:54pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was doing swimming practice at the pool. I suddenly got breathless, dizzy, and felt like I was drowning. I cried out to the instructor, telling him I had a weak heart. He shouted back, "I don't care about your girlfriend's problems! Swim, bitch!" FML

#17233165 (270)

I agree, your life sucks (33190) - you deserved it (3880) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/23/2011 at 7:52pm - love - by mathii - Sent from mobile version

Today, I peeked through my window and trained a pair of binoculars on my neighbour's house. Every night without fail, he ends up standing in front of his window topless to flex his muscles. This time, I was surprised to instead find a note taped to the window saying, "Sorry, I'm out tonight." FML

#17032745 (400)

I agree, your life sucks (7640) - you deserved it (52636) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/08/2011 at 8:11pm - love - by Anonyme - Sent from mobile version

Today, I had to explain to my teenage daughter that no, the dishwasher didn't make the glasses shrink, I'd bought smaller glasses. FML

#16812577 (240)

I agree, your life sucks (23339) - you deserved it (4232)

On 06/23/2011 at 4:53am - kids - by wow - Sent from mobile version

Today, the only positive thing my ex boyfriend left me was my pregnancy test. FML

#16268222 (238)

I agree, your life sucks (45317) - you deserved it (8600)

On 05/20/2011 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by Emma-Louise (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was waiting for the bus while wearing my new FML shirt. A passer-by stopped, stared at me for a moment, and said, "I agree, your life sucks." FML

#15528931 (226)

I agree, your life sucks (8720) - you deserved it (18117) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/28/2011 at 9:51am - misc - by Danou - Sent from mobile version

Today, my son was on Facebook while he was supposed to be studying. He called me a liar and accused me of making up excuses to chew him out. How do I know he was online? He liked and commented on a video I posted. My son is a dumbass. FML

#15398872 (199)

I agree, your life sucks (37635) - you deserved it (6233)

On 03/20/2011 at 12:10pm - kids - by parenting_failure (man) - Sent from mobile version

Today, my mother noticed that I hadn't taken the trash out in a few weeks and angry, piled various full trash bags on my bed. I've been away on holiday for the past three weeks, I guess she didn't notice that part. FML

#15195848 (104)

I agree, your life sucks (23581) - you deserved it (2283)

On 03/04/2011 at 11:25am - misc - by carr (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, thanks to a particularly spicy bowl of noodles, my nose decided it would rather be a fountain. A fountain of blood. FML

#15129596 (84)

I agree, your life sucks (19754) - you deserved it (2596)

On 02/26/2011 at 5:59pm - health - by mwja (man) - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend woke me up by playing with the string of my tampon. FML

#14955015 (238)

I agree, your life sucks (35049) - you deserved it (4493)

On 02/13/2011 at 4:32am - intimacy - by Eva - Sent from mobile version

Today, and even at this very moment, my ex, who I'm still in love with, is having sex with her new boyfriend. He's my neighbor and she's making a lot more noise with him than she did with me. FML

#14847899 (107)

I agree, your life sucks (31754) - you deserved it (4731) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/05/2011 at 1:29am - intimacy - by homerde - Sent from mobile version

Today, I received a text message from my wife who had gone out for the evening with some girlfriends: "Have to take a friend home, she's drunk! I'll be staying at his place. Call you tomorrow morning." His? FML

#14768786 (252)

I agree, your life sucks (34991) - you deserved it (2858) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/30/2011 at 1:21am - love - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, while skiing, I really needed to pee. The instructor pointed me towards some bushes. I slid over to them, and pulled my panties down. My skis then started sliding back down the slope. I ended up gliding through the bushes, all the way down to the rest of the group. FML

#14670797 (92)

I agree, your life sucks (20221) - you deserved it (5381) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/22/2011 at 3:49am - misc - by sandra22 - Sent from mobile version