Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from Hovedstaden

Today, my dad, under threats of disowning me, insisted that I offer my sister a job in my company. I run my own law firm, she is a hairdresser. FML

#20838513
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52748) - you deserved it (3417)

On 08/15/2013 at 9:34am - work - by lawman (man) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, my family and I were visiting an aunt. While helping my aunt to set the table, my sister remarked that from behind I look exactly like her. I reflexively blurted out "well fuck you too". Very awkward silence. FML

#20557009
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13425) - you deserved it (40038)

On 03/23/2013 at 8:38pm - misc - by Kjer (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, I went to the doctor to get a blood test and I started crying when I saw the needle. I planned on becoming a doctor. FML

#20519825
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26662) - you deserved it (12981)

On 02/24/2013 at 4:34am - health - by Caroline - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, after months of a very healthy sex life with my boyfriend, he asked me to let him try anal. I'm dead-set against it, so I tried to let him down easy by jokingly saying that I would, but only if he let me try it on him first. He said, "Sure." Fuck. FML

#20518830
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28104) - you deserved it (46589)

On 02/23/2013 at 1:27pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, my son got his first tooth, and is enthusiastically biting everything. I breastfeed. FML

#20450046
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36219) - you deserved it (6555)

On 01/09/2013 at 1:48pm - kids - by loveyouson (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, I wanted nothing more than to go home and get into bed. While I was unlocking my front door, the flimsy key snapped off inside the lock. A locksmith was called out, who did nothing but sadistically guffaw at my misfortune and crack sarcastic jokes as he undid the lock. FML

#20399681
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22269) - you deserved it (2498)

On 12/14/2012 at 6:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, the guy I'm dating found out I have severe arachnophobia. He downloaded a picture of a huge, hairy spider and set it as background on my iPhone. I can't even unlock my phone, as every time I try, the spider pops up and I drop the phone. He laughs every time I do it. FML

#20200411
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31897) - you deserved it (6253)

On 12/11/2012 at 1:09pm - love - by skinnybitch (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, after being single for a while now, I unwillingly went on a blind date with a guy my friend convinced me would be perfect for me. He took me to McDonald's; his father was with him the whole entire time. He is 27. FML

#20180462
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27382) - you deserved it (2218)

On 11/26/2012 at 10:13pm - love - by N - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, someone brought cake to class. Trying to get some attention from the guy I have a crush on, I asked if he wanted my piece of cake. He accepted it, and then offered it to another girl. FML

#20077941
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27012) - you deserved it (4692)

On 09/18/2012 at 4:07pm - love - by emselin - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, I realised just how cripplingly self-conscious I am, when I couldn't even fantasise about having sex with a guy without feeling shy and insecure about my body. FML

#19985398
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29867) - you deserved it (5207)

On 07/26/2012 at 2:07pm - intimacy - by PixiXOXO (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, I foolishly told my husband that I know he's been holding back sexually, and that I was willing to indulge any sexual fantasies he may have. Now it seems that tonight, I'll be responding to the name "Fluttershy". FML

#19846265
404 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29801) - you deserved it (17005)

On 06/25/2012 at 6:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, I arranged a romantic dinner for my boyfriend. His favourite meal, fresh flowers, scented candles. Everything went beautifully, at least until he wrapped an arm around me and whispered, "Want some dick?" into my ear. Mood horrifically ruined. FML

#19717228
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32984) - you deserved it (7058)

On 06/01/2012 at 7:50pm - intimacy - by dating a manchild (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, while I was applying some eyeliner, my cat jumped onto the counter and managed to headbutt me. The wand scratched a good portion of my eyeball, and now for the next few weeks, I will have to deal with the pain of a corneal abrasion. FML

#19627607
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23402) - you deserved it (3089)

On 05/15/2012 at 3:27pm - health - by rhya4n (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: