Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from Hovedstaden

Today, I arranged a romantic dinner for my boyfriend. His favourite meal, fresh flowers, scented candles. Everything went beautifully, at least until he wrapped an arm around me and whispered, "Want some dick?" into my ear. Mood horrifically ruined. FML

#19717228
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26278) - you deserved it (6123)

On 06/01/2012 at 7:50pm - intimacy - by dating a manchild (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, while I was applying some eyeliner, my cat jumped onto the counter and managed to headbutt me. The wand scratched a good portion of my eyeball, and now for the next few weeks, I will have to deal with the pain of a corneal abrasion. FML

#19627607
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17731) - you deserved it (2524)

On 05/15/2012 at 3:27pm - health - by rhya4n (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, I caught my mother trying to text on her iPhone, with her nipple. FML

#18364433
303 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32147) - you deserved it (2289)

On 11/27/2011 at 6:46am - misc - by Anonymous - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, my wife figured that a good foreplay move would be to rub MY underwear in MY face. FML

#15675353
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31501) - you deserved it (8834)

On 04/07/2011 at 1:19am - intimacy - by 1337fade (man) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, my roommate complained about his penis being smelly and itchy. It's been a week. Yesterday he woke me up in the middle of the night, asking if I had some kind of Vaseline or moisturizer he could use for the itching. He still refuses to go to the doctor. FML

#14962241
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26137) - you deserved it (2255)

On 02/13/2011 at 7:09pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, it was my birthday. I got ONE birthday greeting: from my bank, telling me they were closing my account. FML

#14785892
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24821) - you deserved it (2695)

On 01/31/2011 at 8:55am - misc - by Micawber - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, I found out that people can get ringworm from cats. I found out because I have ringworm. I don't have a cat. Then I remembered I helped a friend move about two weeks ago, and spent the night sharing a bed with her cat. That's the last time I ever help her move. FML

#13861463
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19825) - you deserved it (3353)

On 11/16/2010 at 2:13am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, the weather man announced that today's forecast will include heavy rain and hail in my city. Normally, this wouldn't be a big deal. However, my house has no roof at the moment. FML

#13803743
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26602) - you deserved it (3828)

On 11/11/2010 at 4:40pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, my dad borrowed my new iPad to amuse him while he was in the shower without my knowledge. The iPad is now completely ruined, and my dad is refusing to buy me a new one. He says, "How was I to know that it wasn't waterproof?" FML

#13158291
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37554) - you deserved it (3163)

On 09/22/2010 at 4:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, someone whistled, so I turned around. The guy behind me then said: "Did you seriously think that it was meant for you?" FML

#13017861
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31726) - you deserved it (4194)

On 09/12/2010 at 10:04am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: