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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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FMLs submitted from Hovedstaden

Today, while I was applying some eyeliner, my cat jumped onto the counter and managed to headbutt me. The wand scratched a good portion of my eyeball, and now for the next few weeks, I will have to deal with the pain of a corneal abrasion. FML

#19627607 (148)

I agree, your life sucks (5551) - you deserved it (712)

On 05/15/2012 at 3:27pm - health - by rhya4n (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, I caught my mother trying to text on her iPhone, with her nipple. FML

#18364433 (346)

I agree, your life sucks (12115) - you deserved it (902)

On 11/27/2011 at 6:46am - misc - by Anonymous - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, my wife figured that a good foreplay move would be to rub MY underwear in MY face. FML

#15675353 (155)

I agree, your life sucks (25952) - you deserved it (7050)

On 04/07/2011 at 1:19am - intimacy - by 1337fade (man) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, my roommate complained about his penis being smelly and itchy. It's been a week. Yesterday he woke me up in the middle of the night, asking if I had some kind of Vaseline or moisturizer he could use for the itching. He still refuses to go to the doctor. FML

#14962241 (88)

I agree, your life sucks (20557) - you deserved it (1669)

On 02/13/2011 at 7:09pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, it was my birthday. I got ONE birthday greeting: from my bank, telling me they were closing my account. FML

#14785892 (63)

I agree, your life sucks (22411) - you deserved it (2249)

On 01/31/2011 at 8:55am - misc - by Micawber - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, I found out that people can get ringworm from cats. I found out because I have ringworm. I don't have a cat. Then I remembered I helped a friend move about two weeks ago, and spent the night sharing a bed with her cat. That's the last time I ever help her move. FML

#13861463 (106)

I agree, your life sucks (15838) - you deserved it (2514)

On 11/16/2010 at 2:13am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, the weather man announced that today's forecast will include heavy rain and hail in my city. Normally, this wouldn't be a big deal. However, my house has no roof at the moment. FML

#13803743 (119)

I agree, your life sucks (22586) - you deserved it (3028)

On 11/11/2010 at 4:40pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, my dad borrowed my new iPad to amuse him while he was in the shower without my knowledge. The iPad is now completely ruined, and my dad is refusing to buy me a new one. He says, "How was I to know that it wasn't waterproof?" FML

#13158291 (300)

I agree, your life sucks (33611) - you deserved it (2473)

On 09/22/2010 at 4:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, someone whistled, so I turned around. The guy behind me then said: "Did you seriously think that it was meant for you?" FML

#13017861 (163)

I agree, your life sucks (26722) - you deserved it (3163)

On 09/12/2010 at 10:04am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)



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