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FMLs submitted from Hertford

Today, my drunk husband came home, got into bed, and started humping the body pillow. He ended up whining about how I hadn't come yet, then angrily slurred that I must be cheating on him. All I could do was stay quiet and wonder how the idiot even made it home alive. FML

#21266933
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45172) - you deserved it (3475)

On 09/28/2014 at 11:30am - intimacy - by tw@ (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, my girlfriend and I went to the cinema. Or rather, she went with her other boyfriend, and I happened to see them there. FML

#20429745
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43530) - you deserved it (2775)

On 12/29/2012 at 10:50am - love - by awkward. (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I found my sister's wedding book. Inside it was a list of potential grooms; she'd written down all of my ex-boyfriends. And my fiancé. We're getting married in three weeks. FML

#20162804
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21391) - you deserved it (1485)

On 11/14/2012 at 2:46am - love - by he's mine (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. I came back home in tears, and eventually told my dad what was wrong. He immediately excused himself to the living room, where I heard him tell my mum, "She's gone all Taylor Swift again." FML

#20159285
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21541) - you deserved it (10052)

On 11/11/2012 at 5:48pm - love - by notalovestory (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I was talking to my future mother-in-law about my upcoming wedding. She told me that I wasn't allowed to have the wedding at a church, nor wear a white dress, nor have roses for flowers, because that would mean I'd be "copying" her. FML

#20115456
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26871) - you deserved it (1467)

On 10/13/2012 at 7:42pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, my husband asked me to spoon him. He used it as an excuse to start farting on me. Yep, this is my husband. FML

#20086703
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25842) - you deserved it (5776)

On 09/24/2012 at 3:16pm - intimacy - by disgusted - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I asked my girlfriend why she never lets me in her house. She stared blankly and said, "What is inside is not for thine eyes." I told her best friend about this creepiness later on. She sighed and said, "T'was not for mine eyes either. I didst fail to listen." I feel like I'm losing my mind here. FML

#19772012
280 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24567) - you deserved it (3305)

On 06/11/2012 at 5:45pm - love - by amidreaming?? (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my parents. After she left, they told me they disapprove of her because of her supposedly lower social class. Now I have to either dump her or lose the money they set aside to pay for my university tuition. FML

#19537516
291 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31490) - you deserved it (2618)

On 04/27/2012 at 2:01pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, while looking through my wedding photos, I realised my wife had done a duck face in every single one. FML

#19496136
299 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37879) - you deserved it (5762)

On 04/19/2012 at 3:46pm - love - by caaarl (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I was on the train listening to my iPod on shuffle. The "Oompa Loompa" song came on, and slightly amused, I started humming it. It wasn't until I noticed that the man next to me was a midget that I understood the horrified looks I was getting. FML

#18716043
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33152) - you deserved it (9182)

On 01/05/2012 at 1:39pm - misc - by lorahayes (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I tried to buy a bottle of wine from the supermarket. The scrawny, acne-ridden kid at the checkout asked to see my ID. I didn't have any on me, since I'm 37 years old and didn't expect to be asked stupid questions. I complained to his manager, only to be asked to leave. FML

#18338380
380 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12217) - you deserved it (46894)

On 11/24/2011 at 3:19pm - misc - by Andrew - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, my 20 year old daughter started ranting to me about her latest boyfriend's erectile problems. Trying to be a good dad, I told her all I knew about how to get the boy fixed. My wife decided to stick her head in and say, "Listen to your dad, hun. He knows all about this kind of thing." FML

#17897207
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31674) - you deserved it (5043)

On 10/03/2011 at 5:41pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, my daughter spent three hours crying and having a temper tantrum over being forced to have a bath after four days without one. My daughter is 16. FML

#16862726
413 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44451) - you deserved it (9944)

On 06/26/2011 at 6:32am - kids - by Unsanitary (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)



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