FMLs submitted from Hawke's Bay

Today, my father bought a pair of fancy noise cancelling headphones. He doesn't realise that the noise cancelling function only slightly muffles the moaning and screaming in the porn he's watching. FML

by Char-azard / 05/17/2016 at 5:03am / New Zealand (Hawke's Bay) / Miscellaneous

Today, a guy kept flirting with me despite all my hints for him to kindly fuck off and die, so I lied and said I'm a lesbian. This didn't stop him. It got so bad, I had to claim I was born with a dick and say that's why I like girls. Only then did he say "Eeewww..." and back off. FML

by Thai that on for size / 09/25/2015 at 3:56pm / New Zealand (Hawke's Bay) / Love

Today, I went on Facebook, only to see my grandpa had posted "feeling horny" with my grandma. FML

by failingdaily / 09/19/2014 at 10:27pm / New Zealand (Hawke's Bay) / Geek

Today, a guy asked for my number at the grocery store, but I politely told him I wasn't interested. He followed me home and took a shit on my doorstep. FML

by Anonymous / 05/11/2014 at 8:14pm / New Zealand (Hawke's Bay) / Love

Today, my girlfriend sent her new boyfriend over to my place to break up with me for her. FML

by Anonymous / 12/12/2013 at 4:53pm / New Zealand (Hawke's Bay) / Love

Today, my dad came up behind me with a pair of scissors, and pretended to snip away at my hair. I was sure he was joking, so I just sat there and didn't react. Later, I felt the back of my head and looked at my hand. Suffice it to say, I now have a large bald patch on the back of my head. FML

by Anonymous / 12/10/2010 at 4:59pm / New Zealand (Hawke's Bay) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was standing in the gas station, pulling out my wallet to pay the $100 of gas I just filled my car with. I opened my wallet and found a note saying "borrowed money for food". FML

by Pissed / 10/21/2009 at 6:05am / New Zealand (Hawke's Bay) / Money